( 𝟎𝟒𝟑 ) self blame
— ZOE DIDN'T WANT TO ASK NATE about how he felt that Daryl had left with Merle, in fear that he would completely break down over it; but he had helped her with her feelings, and with what happened to her, so the least she could do is help him through his own. She hadn't even left her cell since she got back from Woodbury, the girl just couldn't bring herself to look at her friends and family knowing what had happened with the Governor, and the fact that she had given up the prison so quickly when she thought that Glenn's life was in danger. The Governor knew where they were now, and they were all expecting war on their doorsteps at any moment in time - it was obvious the leader was going to come for them and to murder them all, for whatever reason, Zoe had no clue. They had to fight the dead, not the living, and anyone that did both, was evil; it was hard enough trying to survive with walkers, but now that people who were living were in the picture, it was making it that much more difficult, and Zoe didn't know how the group were going to handle it.
Not only that, but mow Rick had gone bat shit crazy and Glenn and Nate had to be the ones to stand in, making sure they kept everything going whilst Rick was unable to. Zoe didn't know why her father was acting like this - neither her, or Carl were seeing their dead mother, and knowing the world they currently lived in, he needed to snap out of it.
Zoe stood in the main area of their cell block, her arms crossed against her chest as she watched Glenn draw the map of the prison on the floor with a piece of chalk, knowing that they needed to find the blind spots in this place so they can cover it up, or expect walkers or people from that part of the prison.
"Now you said you found Tyreese's group here?" Glenn asked Carl, circling one of the areas on the floor. Zoe hadn't come out of her room to meet Tyreese and his group; this was the first time she had left her cell since she had gotten back - she just wished she could've convinced her dad that maybe they could've stayed; more firepower, meant a better chance at defeating the Governor. When Carl said yes, that it was the exact place where they thought that had secured.. "We secured this." Glenn pointed out, confused.
"Well - he thought he came through here." Carl corrected, knowing that he could be wrong about that side of the prison being unsecured. He pointed on the floor at a part of the map that Glenn had drawn out, as Zoe sighed, knowing that they had a lot more to deal with, and not just the Governor and his people.
Nate heard her sigh and slung his arm around her shoulders, stroking one of them with his thumb to try and bring her some comfort - he knew that she was stressed out, and still trying to overcome what happened back at Woodbury, and he was trying to help her, but nothing seemed to be working, and he hated it.
"That means that there's another breach in the prison." Nate then spoke up from his place besides his other half, he, too, was just as worried as Glenn about their home being under attack, and if there was more than one blind spot in this place, then they had to deal with it as soon as possible so the Governor has a harder time getting to them.
Glenn nodded, sighing at Nate's words, "Now, the whole front of the prison is insecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." He explained to the rest of the group, who all stood around him, looking down as he drew on the floor to show the others what he was taking about.
"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack?" Beth asked, unsure as to why Glenn was so positive that the Governor and his people were going to attack them at the first chance they get. "Maybe you scared him off." She suggested, clearly not knowing the Governor and what he was capable of.
"He had fish tanks full of heads." Michonne spoke up for the first time since she entered the room with them all. "Walkers and humans. Trophies. He's coming." She told the group, having known what this man had done and what he will do to them all.
Zoe felt a shiver go down her spine at the woman's words, believing her instantly that the Governor had heads in his town, in tanks - he was an evil man, and she just wished that she never actually had to see him again in her life. She normally wasn't the type to wish anything bad upon anyone, but she just wished this man was dead so they could all finally relax and focus on fighting the dead instead of the living. Nate tightened his hold on Zoe, noticing that the girl had tensed up incredibly at Michonne's words; he hated that the Governor had this effect on his girl, and he just wanted to end the old man, and make sure he never hurt Zoe ever again.. "I think we should hit him now." Glenn said, having looked over at Zoe and seen how upset she looked over hearing about the Governor again. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head.
As much as Nate wanted the Governor dead, making their group sneak into Woodbury and murder their residents - because that's what they'll have to do if they do end up attacking the small town. Starting a war would be the wrong call, and just because Rick wasn't in the game right now, didn't mean that Glenn could start ordering murders.. "We're not assassins." Carol spoke up first, finding Glenn's suggestion ridiculous as they didn't even have the resources to attack Woodbury and kill the Governor.
Glenn shook his head, knowing that he didn't mean they should murder everyone in there; just the Governor.. He stood up, walking towards Michonne with a determined look on his face, "You know where his apartment is. You, me and Nate could end this tonight. I'll do it myself." Glenn spoke up, trying to convince Michonne to join in with his plan of killing the Governor and making sure he couldn't hurt anyone else like he hurt Zoe.
Zoe looked up at Nate, hoping to see him shaking his head and refusing to go along with Michonne and Glenn to murder the Governor in his sleep, but when she saw him nod at the Korean boy, the girl couldn't believe it. This wasn't them, they weren't murderers, no matter what was said about any of them or their leader - she didn't want Nate to become something who isn't just because he didn't like the Governor and what he had done to her. She understood where he came from, she wanted the Governor dead, too, because of what he did to her, but she wasn't going to put her life at risk to follow through with it, and she didn't want Nate or Glenn doing exactly that. The girl shrugged out of Nate's hold, heading towards Maggie and standing besides her, knowing that she could trust the girl at the moment.
"He didn't know you were coming last time." Hershel spoke up, also seeing how stupid Glenn's plan was. "And look what happened. You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. And you and Zoe were almost executed." He explained, knowing that Woodbury were guarded, and they weren't going to be able to get in there without someone from their group dying..
"You can't stop us." Glenn told the older man.
Even Maggie didn't know who Glenn was as she looked at him; she knew that he was close with Zoe, but the way he was acting, wasn't like him at all, and she hated it - she could also tell that Zoe was uncomfortable with this whole situation, as she didn't want Glenn nor Nate heading back to Woodbury tonight. "Rick would never allow this." Hershel said, as Nate watched him and Glenn, trying to ignore the glare directed at him from Maggie, who kept her arm around Zoe, the girl just as uncomfortable.
"You really think he's in any position to make that choice?" Glenn asked, Zoe slightly hurt that he would be talking about her father so poorly when he had done so much for them all since this whole thing started.
"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here, Lori, too. The men that were here. It isn't worth any more killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now." Hershel carried on, trying to get through to Glenn that they should be running, not killing.
Zoe didn't exactly think that they should run, she didn't want to leave the prison - she felt safer here than she had done at the farm, with the cells, they all have their own beds, and it feels like home, finally.. Nate also didn't think they should run, they had early this place, they fought for it, and he can see them living here for the near future, maybe even starting a family of his own.. When he looked over at Zoe and saw the look on her face, he knew that she didn't want to leave this place either; they both loved it here, they loved how they could have their own room, and they loved the security the prison brought them, nothing could beat this place.
"And go where?" Glenn asked Hershel, not knowing how he could want to run from the Governor, from their new home.
"We lived on the road all winter." Hershel tried to reason with him.
"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have a baby crying for walkers every four hours." Glenn argued, the tone he was using with Hershel making everyone in the room look over in worry - Glenn had been hit hard by what happened in Woodbury, and they wished they knew what had happened back there. Only a small amount of people knew, and the others had their suspicions, but they wouldn't dare say anything to either Glenn nor Zoe, in fear that they could be wrong or they could be opening up closed doors for them. "We can't run." He said.
Zoe looked down at the ground in guilt, knowing that this whole argument was happening right now was because she had given up their location to the Governor. Maybe if she would have held on a little bit longer for the others to rescue them, the Governor wouldn't know where they lived, and they wouldn't be able to raid them with all of their people and guns. The girl sighed again, before leaving the room, Maggie following after her as she didn't like how Glenn was acting right now - that, and she wanted to make sure that Zoe was okay.
Nate watched her go with a sigh of his own, knowing that she was upset that she had given up their location and how many people were in their group to the Governor. The girl did what she had to, to keep Glenn safe and alive, and she shouldn't be beating herself up for that. No one blamed her for the fact that the Governor knew where they were and how many of them there were - they were just glad she was back home and safe.
"We're gonna stay." Nate announced to the group, Glenn nodding along to his words, now knowing that maybe heading to Woodbury tonight wasn't the best decision as a leader. "We're gonna stay and defend this place. Our home." He said, knowing that it's what Rick would say if he were here and in charge right now.
"Carl. You, me and Nate will go down to the tombs, we need to figure out where the breach is." Glenn told the kid, who was still crouched on the floor and looking down at the drawing on the floor.
"Actually. I'm gonna stick with Zoe for a little bit. She needs someone right now." Nate told Glenn, knowing that the boy would understand where he was coming from, and the fact he knew what happened to her, he knew she needed looking after. Glenn nodded instantly at his words, not objecting at all as he knew that Zoe needed Nate by her side right now.
"In that case, you'll need some help." Michonne then spoke up, walking forwards and announcing that she was free to help out yet again. She wanted to work her keep, and give back to the people that had taken her in when she had been shot in the leg.
Nate walked out of the room after he had said he was going to look after Zoe, and as he walked into the cell block, he heard sniffles coming from his and her room, and Maggie's soft voice coming in from besides it. The girl was trying to console her, but it wasn't working, and Zoe kept refusing to trust Maggie's words, "Is everything okay?" Nate asked, walking into his cell and seeing Zoe stood in the corner of the room with Maggie hugging her.
Maggie instantly turned around at the sound of Nate entering and shook her head, indicating that Zoe was not okay, before she handed the girl over to him, eventually leaving the room for the two of them to talk it through. "What's wrong?" Nate asked the girl, stroking her hair away from her face so it didn't get wet from the tears.
Zoe looked up at him with a sad look on her face, "This is all my fault. If only I kept my mouth shut about where we were living, then none of this would be happening, and the Governor wouldn't be charging down here with his little army." She explained, hating how this was all her fault and that the leader wouldn't even know where they are if she didn't act weak and give up their location.
"Hey." Nate spoke up, gripping her face with his hands to get her to look at him, "You did what you had to, to keep Glenn safe. No one blames you." He explained, hating how she was putting all of the blame on herself - everyone knew that it wasn't her fault, and he hated how she thought that. The most important thing was, that she and Glenn were back home and safe; he hated how she didn't believe him when he told her this.
"I blame me." Zoe cried, tears streaming down her face as she looked up at her boyfriend, her heart breaking at the look on his face, he looked down at her like she was the most important person in the world to him, and it broke her heart that he thought so highly of her when she didn't even deserve it. Zoe wouldn't have guessed that at the beginning of the end of the world, she would've met the love of her life, a man that took care of her through thick and thin, and loved her for who she was, even through her worst.
Nate shook his head at her, not knowing why she blamed herself for this whole mess, everyone knew that it wasn't on the girl, even Rick, who seemed to be in his own zone of troubles right now. "Well you shouldn't, because none of this was your fault, and deep down, you know this." He told her, pulling her back in for another hug as she gripped onto him like her life depended on it. Zoe didn't even know what she would do without Nate, she relied on him for everything, and didn't think she'd be able to carry on without him - she knew this wasn't healthy, but she couldn't help it. She loved him so much.
Zoe walked out in the open, her hand up to shield her eyes from the sunlight that was seeping down from the sky, brighter than usual - she didn't know where the sudden sunlight came from, but it felt nice, having the sun against her skin, it felt warm, and calming. As she walked out, she saw Nate, helping Hershel walk to the bottom of the open field, towards her dad, where he looked to be talking to himself, acting like he was completely out of his mind, just like he had been since her mother had died. The girl sighed at the sight, not knowing when her dad would come back to the land of the living, as his mind definitely was not. She watched as Nate helped Hershel up to the fence, when he left them to talk privately, knowing that Hershel needed to talk some sense into Rick and bring him back up to the prison.
She stopped when she was standing besides Carol and the new guy, Axel, who she hadn't exactly spoken much to since she had gotten back home from Woodbury; she had been hiding out in her cell since she returned home, and no one exactly blamed her, either. "Hi, Zoe sweetie." Carol greeted the girl softly, when she looked besides Axel and saw the young girl had finally come outside for some fresh air.
Zoe smiled at the older woman, as Axel turned around and smiled at the girl, trying to make a good impression, "Hi, I'm Axel. We haven't exactly met, yet." He introduced, holding out his hand for the young girl to shake.
As Carol was clearly comfortable with this man, Zoe smiled back instantly, taking his hand on her own and shaking it, "I'm Zoe, but you probably already know that." She greeted, watching as Axel smiled at the fact she wasn't treating him like a criminal like the others had done when they all first met.
But, as Zoe was looking up at the older man with a smile on her face, it quickly faded into a look of pure horror, when suddenly, Axel's forehead had a gaping hole in it, and the man had fallen to the floor in front of her, now instantly dead. Along with Carol, Zoe dropped to the floor, having been shot at even more, and if Zoe didn't move out of the way as quick as she did, she would be on the floor along with Axel right now, and that fact alone, terrified the girl. How something could go wrong so quickly, she had no idea, but the girl knew that she had to find covet quick.
Whilst Carol took cover with Axel's dead body, Zoe crawled along on the floor, towards a bench, lucky to avoid even more shots as they were directed at her and Carol - she narrowly missed a bullet aimed for her head, and pulled the bench backwards so she had cover. The girl leaned her back against it, breathing heavily when she realised that she didn't have a gun on her and she was stuck out in the open with shots flying at her from almost all directions; she was trapped, with nowhere to go.
Nate, on the other hand, had dived down into the long grass to take cover, the man also not bringing a gun out with him, not expecting to be ambushed so early on - he thought that the Governor would have to take more time to get his people together first, how did he get here so quickly?
Just like Zoe, he was caught out in the open with no gun on him, and all that was left for him to do was cower down, staying hidden from the men attacking their home - he wished he could do more, but he didn't have any gun on him. The second he began crawling towards Hershel, wanting to help the old man and shield him from the bullets, even more came in his direction, and he had to duck down yet again. What he hated most, was the fact he couldn't even see if his girl was okay; if she had been shot or not, he couldn't even look up without the fear of getting a bullet through his head, and he wasn't about to leave Zoe alone in the world.
However, when the gun shots finally ceased, Nate looked up carefully, along with everyone else in the prison, unsure as to what was happening, it gave the people up by the hulk sing to grab their guns, including Zoe, who had ran out of cover and towards her brother, Beth and Maggie. They all began shooting once again, whilst Nate had managed to crawl towards Hershel and push him down, covering him with his own body, keeping him safe. When they all heard the rev of a truck, it all ceased, and everyone's heart stopped at the sight of a truck ramming into the field, eventually revealing walkers trapped in the back, being let out in an instant.
The shooting began again, as they all tried to keep the zombies from entering their home: Nate telling Hershel to crawl backwards when he saw that the walkers were heading straight for them - he was good at what he did, but there was too many of them for him to handle with only his fists, he didn't know if he could do it. Either way, he kept helping Hershel backwards, trying to stay out of sight, before Hershel pulled out his revolver, showing Nate he had a gun. Nate took it instantly, and began shooting, just like all of the others, as they began to clear the field and help the old man and Nate out of there; Glenn driving in and picking them up the second he arrived back at the prison, all helping Hershel into the car and back up to the prison.
Zoe waited anxiously for them to arrive back at the top, the girl instantly rushing into his arms the second she saw him climb out of the back of the car - "You okay?" Nate asked Zoe, kissing her face all over, over and over again as he had feared she would die back there. It made him never want to let go. Ever.
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