( 𝟎𝟓𝟕 ) lost without her

— FAMILY. THAT WAS THE ONLY thing that mattered to Nate; if the people he cared about were hurt, or gone, then he was nothing, and that's how he felt right now, he felt empty, like nothing mattered anymore. Zoe wasn't here, he didn't even know if she was alive or dead, or where she was, and he hated it, he wished he had never left that damn prison without her, but because he had, he was with Daryl and Beth, alone, without a clue on where the rest of their family could possibly be. The man knew that Daryl was getting fed up of him not talking, or doing anything, but how could he? Ever since they had left the prison, Nate had been completely silent, unable to function properly without the knowledge of where Zoe was, where his whole life was — along with the rest of the prison, he didn't know where anyone was or if they were okay, and the worst part was that no one knew anything. Nate could tell that Daryl felt the fear and worry on everyone's whereabouts and if they were okay, he just wouldn't show it as he was trying to stay strong for his little brother.

It had taken them a while to get away from the walkers at the prison, running constantly and fighting off any walker that came near them; they were lucky they had managed to grab their weapons and things before getting out of there. The three of them were exhausted; hot and sweaty from the amount of running they had done, and Nate felt like he would collapse from the amount of energy he had used — it was late at night before the three of them were finally able to sit down by a fire and rest. As they all sat, Nate wouldn't even look in Daryl's direction, or Beth's, for that matter, since the sight of them just reminded him of Zoe and the home they used to have before it got ripped away from them. At this point, Nate had completely given up.. Without Zoe, he felt empty.. Useless.

"We should do something. We aren't the only survivors." Beth spoke up, for the first time since the three of them had first gotten away from the walkers in the prison. Nate felt numb at her words, unable to believe her words as he just didn't have it in him anymore. If Zoe was dead, he didn't know what he would do. "We can't be.. Rick, Michonne, they could be out there.. Zoe, Maggie and Glenn could've made it out of A block, they could've." She carried on, when Daryl gave her a look, not entirely believing her words, either. "You two are trackers, you can track. Come on!" Beth carried on, seeing that the two brothers were sat in complete silence, not answering her; she stood up, trying to get their attention, not wanting to give up that the rest of their family could be out there alive. "The sun will be up soon. If we head out now, we can..." She carried on, shaking her head in annoyance when not even Nate would stand up, "Fine, if you guys won't track, I will." She told them both, before grabbing her machete and rushing off into the dark woods on her own.

Nate couldn't help but roll his eyes at the girls behaviour and words — it was in the middle of the night, they barely had any of their supplies and they had no source of light; tracking was nearly impossible for them to do, and the two Dixon's knew that it was impossible. Even if people were out there from the prison, they couldn't do anything about it, it had been too long, now, and they had ran too far away from the prison. The younger Dixon looked towards Daryl with a knowing look, to which Daryl nodded his head at, instantly standing up and pushing his foot down on the fire to put it out; Nate picked up his things and followed after Beth, wanting to make sure that the girl didn't get herself killed by searching for people that aren't even there. He caught up to the blonde girl pretty quickly, again, not saying a single word as he walked besides her, ready to kill any walker that came close to them, as he heard Daryl approach from behind them, already beginning to track just to make Beth happy, because the two Dixon brothers knew for a fact, that it wasn't likely many people got out of that fight, not with how intense it had been and how many people were against them..

Hours passed into the morning light, and still, Nate hadn't spoken a single word, keeping his eyes forward and his body tense as they walked through the woods, Daryl crouching down every now and then to look for footprints, just like Beth had wanted him too. No one blamed Nate for not trying, or not even talking to them; he had lost Zoe, and they both know how he felt about that girl — everyone had lost someone at the prison, including Beth, whom had lost Hershel and Maggie, but she was trying to stay positive, something Nate couldn't even bring himself to do. When Daryl claimed that the kids Beth was talking about, clearly rushed off in a hurry due to things turning south, Beth couldn't help but scoff at his words, annoyed that both Daryl and Nate didn't have any faith that the people at the prison could still be alive. "Could have a little faith." She retorted, rolling her eyes as she carried on looking around the area, Nate still standing guard as he stayed silent once again.

"Yeah, faith." Daryl scoffed right back, almost laughing at the word, "Faith ain't done shit for us. Sure as hell didn't do nothing for your father." He continued, shutting Beth right up, even causing Nate to turn and look at him with a raised brow, knowing himself that, that was a harsh thing to say to her. Even if Nate knew that Beth was just focusing on finding these kids so she didn't have to think about the fact that Hershel was dead, he thought that the girl was wasting her time, because everyone was dead, and she just had to come to terms with it just like he and Daryl had hours beforehand. The blonde girl started picking berries off of a bush, claiming that they would need them for when they found the people from the prison alive; the sight made Nate sigh, knowing that in the end, this was just going to hurt the girl more than just admitting they were all gone.. But none the less, Daryl handed over his bandana to the blonde girl, allowing Beth to pack them up properly, and just as she had finished, she followed behind the Dixon brothers once again.

Approaching two dead bodies on the ground, Nate looked at the bush next to them, sighing at the sight, "What?" Beth asked, looking towards him nervously, in case he had found something that none of them wanted to know.

Nate motioned his head towards the bush for Daryl to take a look at, the older Dixon brother instantly walking over and taking a look at the blood on the leaves. "You're right. This ain't walker blood." He nodded, agreeing with his brother on that one. Beth simply looked at the both of them with a confused look, wondering how the hell Daryl had gotten that just from looking at Nate's face, but at the same time, they were brothers, and it made sense — even if she didn't have that connection with Maggie, she remembered that Daryl and Nate had a very different upcoming than she did, and they had probably learnt to talk silently, due to their father and Merle leaving..

Either way, Beth shook her head at them, "The trail keeps going." She informed the two brothers, keeping her faith because she knew that if she lost it, she would break, and she couldn't have that. "They fought them off." She continued, stepping over the walker bodies and carrying onwards, stopping when Daryl spoke up again, more softly this time as he knew that this would upset Beth.

"Nah. Got walker tracks all up and down here." Daryl informed the girl, pointing up and down as Nate crouched down to get a good look at the tracks, sighing at the sight of them. "At least a dozen of them." He continued, Nate knowing that they should probably get out of here before the walkers decided to come back; they wouldn't survive if they were overrun by a dozen or more walkers, and they all knew it, but trying to convince Beth to carry on in a different direction would be hard, and they both knew it.

Nate was about to open his mouth and claim that they should get out, when they all heard a twig break in the distance, all of them instantly pulling out their weapons and looking around, their guards back up once again. Nate turned around to see a walker behind Beth, the boy instantly rushing up to her and yanking the dead man off, pushing him to the ground and shoving his knife through his skull, climbing off of him in an instant, and backing up to get a good look at the walker. There was a reason Nate had constantly been teaching Zoe how to defend herself, in case of moments like that, where a walker could jump out at any moment and grab her, and it looked like no one had done the same for Beth, Nate instantly feeling bad that the girl didn't know how to defend herself like Zoe does. But then again, the thought of Zoe caused a dull ache in his heart to return, and he tried to push the thoughts away, pushing away the sight of the girl in his brain as he just couldn't deal with the fact he wasn't with her and she could be dead; it was just too much for him, and it hurt. If she was out there, he prayed that she was okay, he prayed that she had found others and he prayed that she would find her way back to him, but as the hours went by, and there was no sign that anyone from the prison were alive, his hopes began to die down, and the thought that maybe Zoe was alive, had just completely demolished, leaving an alone and depressed man in his wake.

Walking further along the woods, the three of them finally came to something other than endless trees, with it being the train tracks that surround the prison area, at first, Nate had been quite relieved to see the sight, but up ahead, mote walkers were eating on some dead bodies, and they all just had a feeling that it was who they were looking for. All that was left of their bodies, was flesh and organs, the walkers having even eaten their clothes; everything was gone. As the two brothers killed the walkers, Nate paused when he heard a sobbing behind him, turning around to see Beth sobbing at the sight of the eaten bodies on the ground, the realisation that maybe everyone was dead, and she was hoping for something that wouldn't ever happen. The man sighed, watching Daryl walk away into the distance without so much as looking back at Beth because she made them look for dead people — Nate couldn't leave her like that, though, knowing that Zoe wouldn't be happy with him. With a sigh, Nate walked up to Beth, the girl keeping her eyes on the ground as she sobbed at what had happened to them, and without any words spoken, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her in close as the young girl cried and cried, Nate allowing her to cry on him, hoping that she could get it all out and finally move on from the fact that everyone was dead.

But they couldn't move on, and they didn't think they ever could..


Nate sat next to Daryl in front of the fire, not taking his eyes off of the flames in front of him as Beth wrote in her journal across from them, the boys not caring one bit about what she was writing in it. The only thing that Nate wished he had from the prison, was the small polaroid photo he had of himself and Zoe, the one they kept on their bedside table, and the one he used to look at every single night, even with the girl sleeping besides her; he just couldn't believe how he had gotten so lucky, finding a girl like her, and he thought that maybe the world was repaying him for the shitty upbringing he had.. But now, loosing her.. He knew that it was payback for being a shitty person in general — he tried to be a better person, for her, and he felt like he had succeeded, but what was the point? When the universe was just going to rip her away from him, without even the knowledge of the girl being alive, it was some sort of sick joke, but yet, he felt like he deserved it, like it was karma of some sort.. Either way, he just wanted it to stop.

Daryl had been keeping a close eye on Nate, his fear building that he wouldn't go back to normal after this; he had seen his brother change for the best, forming into a great man, but now, he was afraid that he would morph into something worse. He had seen Nate completely open up to Zoe, the girl being the only girl Nate had ever let in, and the reason the boy had never done so, was because he was afraid that something like this would happen. Daryl was afraid for the future, for what might happen to Nate now that his whole world wasn't with them, as much as he wanted Zoe to be alive — with the way that she and Glenn were with the illness, he didn't think they would've made it out alive, not with how weak they were; and Zoe had nearly died just hours before.. "She could be out there, brother." Daryl spoke lowly to Nate, as Beth sat to the side with her journal open, minding her own business as she wrote inside of it, deep in her own thoughts.

Nate didn't look in Daryl's direction, seeing his brother already looking at him, but he shook his head as he stared into the fire.

"She's dead."

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