Annabeth Chase

Nico still wasn't anywhere to be found come breakfast the next day, and the councilors of cabin 11 looked exhausted, as did Jason Grace and his friend, Octavian.

But, more concerning for me, was that cabin three's table sat notably empty.

Is it worth asking about? I thought to myself. Percy probably just slept through breakfast since he was basically having a panic attack the whole time we were looking for Nico yesterday.

He did sneak out on a quest to help rescue you, though, another voice in my head reminded me. You should at least ask Chiron if he's still at camp or not.

Not that Percy would tell him if he left, the first voice pointed out.

Sighing, I admitted defeat to my curiosity of my sort-of-friend's whereabouts, walking over to the main table, where Chiron and Mr. D sat with Gleason Hedge, one of the older (like middle aged) satyrs here. He's the one that recruited Clarisse, which is... Very fitting.

He's an aggressive dude.

"And— Annabeth, hello!" Chiron said with a smile as he noticed me approaching the three of them. "I hope you slept well last night. Everything alright? Anything we can help you with?"

I smiled back at my second dad— the one who I feel closer to most of the time than my actual dad.

"I slept good last night, it was nice to have an actual bed again." I insisted. "And nothing that requires any action, I was just wondering if you've seen or heard from Percy or Grover this morning? Or since dinner last night, I guess— I left the two of them for dinner last night, and I don't think I ever saw them show. Just... Want to make sure they're not also missing, you know? We just had a quest, it'd be a hassle to do another one so soon."

"Ever so thoughtful, as always," the centaur commented. "Percy and Grover are alright— Sally and Gabe picked the two of them up last night. No special reason, he just wasn't supposed to stay at camp as long as he did, from what I understand. I'm... Not sure when he'll be back— Percy, not Grover, but he should be at the meeting on Olympus this afternoon."

But Chiron's wording about Percy threw me off.

"He— why wouldn't you be sure when he'd come back? He'll be back in the summer."

"You're right, Annabelle," Mr. D said very pointedly, looking at the Camp Trainer. "he will be back in the summer. Unless he chooses to visit sooner, but he will be able to visit."

"Mr. D, he is more than capable of handling himself, I don't see why—"

"I don't either, to be frank with you, Chiron," the wine god cut him off, making me take half a step back. Hedge paused before taking a bite of the can he had in his hand. "but if we don't have any proof for the brat, what do you think he's going to do? Seriously, Chiron, what do you expect is going to happen?"

The centaur rolled his eyes, as if they've had this argument before.

"If you're trying to illude to something to do with my father—"

"I'm not illuding anymore," Mr. D put his chalice down, leaning forward. "Your father is in his head, Chiron— you heard what Zoë told us about how Percy connected the dots on who her dad is— Atlas was not the one sending him those dreams."

Chiron pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Even if what you're suggesting is true, Mr. D, it doesn't mean they're in communication with one another— he may not even know who it is. It's a dangerous assumption to make that there's even anything happening with my father."

"Chiron, the sticking point isn't that it has to be your father— somebody is in his head." the god reworded his worries. "And like or not, but he is not Luke. He's not just going to keep arguing with you or I about things until he's old enough to leave. He's going to do something about it— whether it hurts him or us, he won't care. If he leaves, whatever is going on is going to be ten times worse. Gleeson is going to search for the kid, and that's the end of it. He'll leave after the meeting— I'm sure the punk won't believe us if he isn't there to confirm."

With that, Mr. D stood up and excused himself. Moments later, Hedge did as well, since he now has to pack.

"Apologies, Annabeth, you shouldn't have to see Mr. D and I bicker so," the only remaining person at the table apologized. "Mr. D has been quite tense this winter, especially considering the Jackson's. Did you have anything else for me?"

Slowly nodding, I thought back on the argument between the two immortals.

"I... Do." I concluded. "I learned some things about the titans this week while I was being held captive."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? And what did you learn, my dear?"

•••
Octavian Augustus

"Hey," Jason said, earning my attention as I was leaving breakfast. Stopping, I backtracked to his table. "You're going to the meeting today, right? Like... You know the one?"

"Uh, yeah, we both agreed on going to it since we'd also get to see your sibling." I reminded the son of Jupiter. "Why? You're not seriously having second thoughts, are you? This is like, right up your alley. It's basically all of your campaign."

"Hm? Oh no, I'm not having doubts, but..." Jason throwing the but on there made me nervous. He finished his food and stood up to walk with me back to the cabins so we could get packed up before leaving for the city. "So, last night before the whole Nico thing happened and before we had our like, talk, did you see Annabeth talking to me?"

I nodded again, saying that I saw her point me out to you before she left.

"Yeah, she made the boyfriend comment before walking away," he filled me in there, and for the first time, didn't see anything afterwards, which was progress. "Which... Wasn't the point of the conversation. The point was that she told me basically everything that Percy told us about Luke and, what Annabeth thought would be important for me, Thalia."

"Okay...? So what, is Annabeth coming with?"

My best friend laughed.

"Is she— no," he emphasized, but his humor got me to smile. "She broke it to me like bad news because she isn't like... Siding with them. She wanted to tell me because she felt bad that I'd just met them and would be losing them so fast, in her own words."

Hopefully he didn't notice the smile. Or, if he did, he didn't assume it happened for the reason it really did.

I like his laugh, sue me. I never get to hear it anymore because he's always stressed.

"So she feels bad?"

"More or less, but Thalia was also like, their sibling as well, I guess? They were super close, so she's kind of crushed and she asked what I was doing before the meeting on Olympus and I didn't want to give away our plans so I just said that I assumed me and you would be sightseeing New York, and then she offered to show us around and I tried so hard to tell her that she didn't have to change her plans for us and..."

He sighed.

"It didn't work." The son of Jupiter concluded. "She asked if we were like, going on a date, and I said no, so she said there shouldn't be any issue then and I just... I wanted to go the meeting, but now she's expecting us to meet her and hang out with her and..."

"Jace, dude, breathe." I reminded him as we walked into cabin 1. "Just tell her that you want to like, stop and say hi to Thalia to 'ask a few questions' about what Annabeth said, and that you'd prefer her not to be there since it might be weird. Also, she can be butthurt about it all she wants, but I don't want her tagging along with us between the two meetings. I know you like, hate telling people no— but sometimes you have to. And also, we made these plans before we even left California to to sight seeing, I am not letting you bail on me."

"I know, I know, that's why I wanted to mention it— I knew you'd think of a good excuse to get out of it." My best friend reassured me that, despite what he was initially saying, that wasn't his plan. "She was just really persistent, and after the whole Nico and then Percy thing, I didn't have the energy to keep pushing. Speaking of, I hope both of them are getting help. Not that it's my business, but..."

He shook his head.

"Yeah, sorry, just worried." He concluded. "I'm going to pack quick and then track down Annabeth to tell her that our plans are non-interupptable, and then I think I'll head straight into the city, okay? I want to talk to Thalia one on one about like, family stuff, before the meeting... If that's okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, Jace, of course that's fine." I reassured him. "it's the last day you'll get to see them for a while, I'm sure, unless they come to California for whatever stuff with your mom's place. I'll just hang out with Travis and Michael until we leave. Are her and Luke back yet?"

He nodded, telling me that they flew in early this morning.

"Okay," I said, heading towards the door. "Nothing I should be worried about?"

The question, as it always does, caught Jason off guard. And this time, he even pushed his annoyance with my concern away, I think reminding himself that I'm worried because I'm his friend— not because I'm suspicious of him or anything.

"What? No, nothing you have to worry about. Nothing at all." And the way he worded it, his fast paced speaking... I was curious, but I decided not to push on it. "mostly it's just stuff about our mom."

"Okay." I took him at his word, figuring that if he seemed off during or after the meeting at Luke's today, I'd press a little more. "Well, then, I'll see you in the city. Don't get lost."

He smiled.

"You, too, 'Tav. Tell the others I say hi."

•••
Jason Grace

I immediately crumbled onto Thalia's couch when I got to their apartment.

Why did my brain have to do this now of all times? It should've done it like, a week ago, when we were coming here. Not when we were leaving.

"Yo, Drama Queen much?" Thalia connected as he sat down on the arm of the couch, messing with my hair. "what's got you all like this? I thought you like, barely felt emotions."

"You thought... Shut up." I told my sibling, sitting up so they'd have room to sit on the couch. "Octavian and I got in an argument about that literally last night, I'd appreciate not hearing it again."

"I— okay. Got it. Sorry, didn't realize it was so touchy." He apologized. "You guys argued last night? Does that happen a lot? You sound annoyed."

"Not... I mean lately, yeah, I guess," I figured, letting out a deep sigh. "Last night was just a whole thing between the quest people getting back and then Nico went missing because Percy has to tell him about his sister and then I found Grover and Percy in the woods because Percy was having a really bad breakdown, so I helped get Percy to the Big House and then Annabeth tracked me down to tell me about you and Luke, which I already knew and like... I know he's just trying to check in and whatever because he's my friend, but when Octavian asked how I was doing it just... It got to me for some reason, so we got in this big argument about how he's always asking me how I'm doing and like, not taking me at my word when I tell him I'll be fine and... And he's right, and I know he's right and I've been so shitty this last year, and it's been worse since I got promoted because I've been so busy and—"

"Jason." Thalia reminded me. "You need to breathe when you talk. If the argument was resolved— and if you're admitting that he's right, it sounds like it has— why are you so worked up?"

I looked down at my hands.

She won't care. I insisted. Or, she will, but in a good way.

"I... So, a little over a year ago— maybe two years ago now? Octavian came out to me as bi." I filled my sibling in on the lore, if you will. "It was kind of a big deal since I was like, the first person he came out to and he wasn't confident about it yet. New Rome is weird, some people are still homophobic, so he felt weird about it himself."

"Okay..." Thalia said, urging me to continue.

"Anyways, we didn't talk about it a lot, but it came up casually when we talked— when crushes came up, as rare as it was, I'd ask what girl or guy had caught his eye, and when we'd talk about us after camp I'd always say his husband or wife, his partner, whatever... I don't know if it actually helped him feel more comfortable as saying he was bi, but that was my way of helping, and like... And then, a year ago, he came out to his parents."

I sighed.

"It... Didn't go well." I recalled. "I wasn't there when it happened, but I guess they just didn't get it and they blamed me for like, making him gay, which obviously isn't true and it kind of hurt to hear because they are like, the closest things I ever had to parents, and... They asked Octavian if we were together, and he says no."

Pausing, I collected myself, feeling shitty about how I handled everything after this.

"Somebody from camp overhead it, but also misheard it, and a rumor started going around that Octavian had a crush on me." I explained to my sibling, whose mouth just formed an o shape. "Yeah, this is where things... So, obviously, I heard the rumor almost immediately and I didn't know how true it was or how to feel about it because he's my best friend and... So I just like, kind of avoided him for a couple of days. Which is bad, I know, because I knew he was coming out to them and he was so worried about it, but... It just seemed a lot and so I confronted him a few days later about it—"

"Woah, hold on. Pause." Thalia stopped me, raising an eyebrow. "confronted? How so?"

I looked down again.

"We were... We were hanging out, and I wasn't looking up at him because I felt weird about the situation because he like, wasn't talking about the coming out or about anything like that, but I didn't want to bring it up or he didn't want to talk about it yet." I went on, crossing my arms and closing my eyes. "Eventually, he asked me what was wrong and why I was acting like we had gotten in an argument or a fight recently. And so I fucking pointed to the elephant in the room and started off by saying that I didn't know if he wanted to talk about it, but why didn't he tell me that he had a crush on me? That feels like... It just feels important, you know? Like, if it has been important enough for his parents to be told, it felt like I should've at least like, noticed it, even if he never actually said it."

"But he didn't like you?"

"That's what he said," I confirmed. "And on one hand, I was like, so relieved because I didn't want things to be weird. And I said that out loud, and maybe I shouldn't have— I think it came off poorly. But it was true, and then he told me about what actually happened and I offered to train with him and then get some like, hot chocolate after, and he like... Turned it down. Which... Made me feel weird."

"Weird?" My sibling questioned.

"If I had a better word, I would use it— it just felt like that added distance between us and it's been... Hard to get it back." I tried to explain something I myself didn't completely understand. "Because after that everyone started to ask if we were dating like, incessantly and it got annoying and we always said no, because we weren't and he doesn't like me and sometimes I would add on, if the person was really annoying me, that Octavian is just my friend and there isn't a reality that I could see, since he doesn't like me, where we'd be anything but friends and... And I shouldn't have said that because, as I learned last night, it made him feel shitty because he took it a very different way than what I meant by it. He took it as like, I would never date him in any universe ever because he can only ever be my friend, and... And then I got promoted and became super busy and stressed, so we weren't hanging out as much and because I was trying to appear as like, professional and reliable for the campers, I didn't realize that I wasn't telling Octavian things like I used to. Which is why he was constantly asking me how I was doing, because I didn't realize it, but I wasn't telling him and... And we got in this argument last night because of that I didn't think it was a big deal but he was worried that like, when we go back to camp I was gonna like, continue to slowly cut him off and that we weren't going to be friends anymore and..."

I ran my hands down my face, wondering how I could be so ignorant to my actions for this long. To a point where my best friend is worried that I'm just going to leave him.

Because, sure, we talked about it last night and I said I wouldn't do that.

But I wouldn't believe me, either. My actions haven't been very telling of a good friend.

"And we talked about it and I tried to reassure him that I'm not trying to cut him off, but I mean, I wouldn't believe me." I insisted, frustration evident in my voice. "And I don't like... Want him to feel shitty about himself because of things I've done and said, but I know that he does and I don't know how I can fix that, if I can fix that or..."

Running my hands through my hair, I couldn't articulate how much I hated the timing of all of this.

"Last night, he was telling me about how shitty he feels about us and... How me saying what I did about the only being friends in another universe thing eventually became like, so instilled in him that he feels like he's unlovable and that's like not... That's not true, he's not.... He's not unlovable, he's my best friend and... And sure he can be annoying and a skeptic at times, but I..."

I choked on my own words.

Thalia looked at me expectantly.

"But he had his first panic attack last night because of it, and I was trying to help him and to comfort him and I..." Once again I lost my voice, holding my head in my hands because I'm the world's biggest idiot. "Obviously he couldn't breathe during it, so I wasn't being physical, but after we were talking and he was explaining things to me and I just... Like something shifted because I wanted to physically comfort him, but I was worried that given the topic he wouldn't take it well and... And I don't even totally know what I mean by physically comfort him besides like, I was tempted to give him a hug until he stopped feeling bad, but I didn't obviously and... Like, Luke never annoys you, does he?"

Thalia laughed.

"Oh, only every day, Jason," my older sibling surprised me with that information, though. "He would not stop referencing the movie we watched on the plane ride here, it was awful. The difference between Luke annoying me and somebody like Percy annoying me is that when Luke annoys me, I still find it endearing or sweet— most of the time. Sometimes he just doesn't shut up. When Percy or somebody else annoys me, I just want to smack them and I want them to go away. Don't tell Luke, but most of the time, I don't want him to go away when he's annoying me."

I let that idea sink in.

I don't want him to go away when he's annoying me.

"Why? Does Octavian annoy you daily?"

I crossed my arms, suddenly very insecure in myself.

"Well not... Not daily."

"Okay." He responded. "well, when he does annoy you, do you feel like you want him to leave? Or like you want to smack his mouth?"

"Do I... I mean, sometimes, but that's when I'm stressed about other things and just want to be away from people in general." I insisted, wondering if that made this different somehow. "If it's just him doing the annoying, though, not usually."

"Jason." My sibling said in a very calm, almost gentle voice. Which, for them, was kind of scary to hear. "when you confronted Octavian about the rumor that he had a crush on you, was there a part of you that secretly hoped that it was true?"

I thought about that, because at the time, I didn't really know.

After all, I was so shocked by the rumor itself that I never considered how I felt about it besides like, blindsided.

"I... Don't know, but wouldn't it be shitty or like, selfish if I did?" I tried to reason out loud. "like, I've thought about it— when people are constantly asking if you're dating your best friend, it's hard not to think about it, you know?"

They raised an eyebrow.

"Think about if you guys were dating or about it he had had a crush on you?"

"Well... Both, I guess? The second more than the first, but they sort of go hand in hand."

"I suppose they do," she agreed, thinking for a moment. "putting that aside for a second, what do you imagine happening when both of you finish your time in Camp Jupiter and end up moving to New Rome? Assuming you both live that long, which, you guys tend to out west, what does post-camp life look like?"

But I've had a clear image of that in my mind for a very long time. That was an easy question.

"After camp? We'd both be going to New Rome University," I explained. "I'm not sure what for exactly, but both of us want to go to school. I imagine we'd probably share a dorm if we're required to have roommates, and if not, we'd live in the same building. We'd get to hang out and help each other with homework and after we graduate we'd probably still be roommates— splitting rent on a two bedroom apartment or something like. If it's ever considered not illegal, we would maybe even get to travel to the ancient lands to see some cool historical stuff."

"Yeah?" She questioned.

"Yeah." I nodded my head.

"And what happens if Octavian has a partner in college that he wants to live with instead of you?"

"Well..." The question caused a feeling similar to squeezing a ball in my chest. It was only one squeeze, but I didn't like it. "then... He would... live with them instead."

"He would." Thalia agreed. "And is that something you'd be okay with?"

"Well I mean he's my best friend, of course I would support him in any relationship—"

"Ah ah ah ah," my sibling interrupted me. "That's not the question, I know you would support him regardless. I'm asking if the idea of him living with another person— sharing his life with another, random person, is something that you yourself would be okay with. Is that something that would bother you? To go to his apartment and have somebody else potentially be there that's also very important to him."

I looked down, trying to deny the point they were getting at, as if it would help anything to deny it.

"Wouldn't that bother anyone? It their best friend like... Chose somebody over them?"

But even as I said it, I knew how it sounded.

"Jason." Thalia said as the ball squeezed one more time. "If there is no reality, no universe where you two end up together, how is he choosing somebody over you?"

And I didn't want say it because the reality of it was currently petrifying me, so I just shrugged.

"Jason," he said my name one more time, even though I didn't trust myself to look up at my older sibling. "It's not selfish to wonder what would happen if he did have a crush on you, or if you guys were dating. To want to comfort him more than usual."

"It's not?"

"No, Jason— as long as you don't explode on any partner or crush he has in the future." They clarified, but like, I'd never do that. "It's normal to think about those things— if you like somebody. Like, like like. If you have a crush on them."

And that was it.

The revelation that made me want to scream and cry all at the same time because 12 hours ago I learned that me repressing those thoughts for at least a year— ever since the rumor started, made Octavian feel unlovable.

Because I'm uncomfortable with my own sexuality, I caused what might be permanent damage between me and the person that I can't imagine living my life without.

And after saying that there's no reality where we're together for a year straight...

There's no way he would believe me, right?

"Jason? A—"

"But I can't—" and because I've repressed it for so long, I didn't know what to do now that I was faced with it. "I've been saying the exact opposite thing for a year, I can't just turn around and... Even if I did tell him, why would he believe me? Why... If I tell him and it ruins our friendship... He doesn't even like me, Thalia."

"He doesn't?" And even though I already told them that part of the story, it was like they chose to forget it. "I could be fooled, but if you never tell him, Jason, I guarantee that he'll find somebody else, and then what happens? Do you think you'll be able to handle the jealousy without him ever noticing?"

"But if I tell him and things are weird—"

"You'll learn to get over it together," she insisted. "It'll probably suck and things will change between you two for a while because there will be new boundaries that weren't there before, but if you really want him in your life in whatever way you can have him— not to sound possessive, but you get what I mean. To still keep him as a friend, you and Octavian will learn how to manage a friendship where one of you has a crush on the other."

"Or," Thalia followed up almost immediately. "You tell him and there's a chance that he either has developed feelings for you, always had them and denied it because of the same exact thing you just said, and you guys get overnyoirselves and actually date. Whichever one happens, if he likes you or not, he deserves to know, Jason."

Nodding my head, I insisted that I knew he deserved to know, especially since it wouldn't be like it was for him— not saying anything because I swore up and down I was straight.

"Oh, Jason," Thalia said, rubbing my arm as they stood up. "is that why you wanted to come over early? So your big sibling could talk you through the fact that you have a big ol crush on your best friend?"

"I— shut up." I said, elbowing them as they stood up. "I also wanted to see if you had any pictures of me from before we were separated."

He rolled his eyes.

"Sure you did— and I only have two photos of you as a kid." My sibling told me. "There's a ton out in California, though— you can have whatever ones you want."

She paused.

"After you tell Octavian about your crush— you'll have to bring him with so I can embarrass you in front of him."

"WHAT!?"

Thalia smiled, walking over the kitchen.

"You heard me," they insisted. "Go clean yourself up— you look like a nervous wreck. The others will start showing up in a few minutes."

•••
He's so stupid <3