Sally Jackson

I wish I knew what to do whenever I visited my parents.

Mostly because they're dead and I only have a couple memories of them. When they died in that plane crash, I wasn't old enough to understand death or to have a lot of memories of my parents that would stick with me into adulthood. But I was old enough to know how wrong everything felt when they were gone.

I'm pretty sure that the older you get, the more "at peace" you're supposed to become with things like the death of family members, but the older I get...

When Hades had kidnapped me and told me that Zeus wanted my son dead, I wondered if it was Zeus that killed my parents or if it really was some freak accident.

Could Zeus have known that I would give birth to Percy when I was that young?

It's hard to tell what the gods know. But ever since Hades told me about Zeus' hatred towards Percy, I can't help but wonder about the true cause of my parents' death.

I don't visit their graves that often. My uncle and I visited regularly when I was young, but when he started to get sick we had mostly stopped.

Now he's buried next to them.

I wish I knew where my grandparents were. If they were still alive.

My father's parents are dead, I know that much, because that was my uncle's parents. They died not long before my parents did. Or, one died before I was born, and the other died before my parents did.

But I can't say I ever knew much about my mom's parents. Both of my parents immigrated here, but my dad immigrated with his family— my mom immigrated on her own once she was an adult.

It would've been nice to try to track them down for the reception, but after Percy ended up in the hospital... Things got hectic. The idea got away from me.

"Hey, Mom. Dad." I said as I set down some flowers— the same kind as the ones that would be decorating the reception. "sorry that I haven't visited in a while, it just... Got away from me. Things have been hectic again."

Even though they've never once responded to me talking, because they're dead, I still paused as if they might decide to show up today.

"Percy was in the hospital again." I told the three people that collectively raised me. The three people that never got to meet Percy. "he was managing for a while getting to call and write Grover and to see Thalia and Luke around, but it slowly just... He spiraled and he didn't do anything, but he admitted to wanting to and... He was there for three weeks, give or take, and now he's out and I think he might be worse."

I swallowed.

"I know he's worse," I rephrased, placing a hand over my stomach and closing my eyes. "He got out of the hospital just in time to watch a girl his age sacrifice herself and to have her little brother blame him for what happened before running away and... He blames himself for it. He came home the day before the solstice nearly inconsolable, and either his boyfriend or Gabe's dad has been staying at the apartment every night since he's been home, just because having another person means he's less likely to attempt, and I..."

I sealed my lips, taking a breath.

Stay calm, Sally. Breathe.

"I hate that that's something we have to actively think about now," I went on, feeling myself tear up. "but it's... It's our everyday now. If we're up later than him, we check to make sure he's okay when we go to bed, and if we get up before him, we check, and I just... I'm afraid that we'll lose him. He's my baby, and I... I know that because of his father, the chances of him dying younger are higher, but I don't want that to happen because he wants it to. I don't want you guys to get to know him before you get to know me, like..."

"I'm worried that I'm doing things wrong." I admitted out loud to somebody that wasn't Gabe for the first time since Percy met his dad. "The only thing I'm confident about right now is my relationship with Gabe— he stopped drinking, I don't know if I mentioned that. We're renewing our vows tonight and finally throwing the reception we always wanted. Alcohol free, of course— he's sober and I'm pregnant, which is something we're going to announce at the party. But how I... How do I introduce another kid into our family when so much of our time and energy is spent on worrying about Percy right now? I want Percy to have a younger sibling— we both do, and he also said that he would like to be an older brother, but that was... That was before everything happened."

Thinking to myself, I wiped away the couple of tears that had fallen. Feeling the baby kick, I exhaled.

"I just don't want him to feel like we're replacing him or that we're pushing him away from home because of the baby." I concluded. "I mean, I hate it now when he has to go to camp— I'm only going to hate it more this summer if he decides to go, because if gods forbid something happens... He's alone in his cabin most of the time, what if they don't realize something happened?"

But now I could hear my uncle's voice in my head— the things he always told himself and told me after he got his diagnosis.

"But what if things get better?" I echoed his motto— the one I try to remind myself of in times like this. "I was so worried that Gabe would never be about to sober up, no matter what happened. That he'd completely lost himself to it, but he's been sober for over a year now and it's the best thing that's happened to our marriage. So maybe Percy gets better, but right now it's just the worst years of his life. It's hard to say."

Knowing I didn't have much time to hang around if I wanted to take a nap before I had to get ready for tonight, I stood.

"I suppose only time will tell. I should head, out, though— sorry that I didn't have a better attitude. I'm excited for Gabe and I to renew our vows and I'm excited for the baby, but I'm also worried. I'll talk to you guys— oh my gods!"

Looking beyond the graves, I was jumpscared by one of the only people I didn't expect to see today: Poseidon.

"Poseidon." I said, skeptical as I took a few steps towards him. "hi."

"Hello, Sally," the god returned with a soft smile— one that used to make my stomach turn into a billion knots when I saw it. Now it makes me nervous. "Sorry, I wasn't intending on scaring you. I'm not interrupting anything, am I? I know your parents are buried here."

How does he know my parents are buried here?

I mean, standing here, he can read the tombstones. But how did he know I'd be here?

"Hm? Oh, no, I was just about to head back home." I answered his question. "I just try to visit from time to time. Everything okay? Something didn't happen to Percy, did it? He just got back home."

"Our son is fine as far as I'm aware," but the way he called Percy our son felt weird, not because it was wrong, but because I know Percy doesn't necessarily return the sentiment of thinking of Poseidon as his father. "Or, at least, he's alive, and nothing has happened that I would've been informed of either by Chiron or by my brother. While the subject has to do with Perseus, it has nothing to do with concerns of his safety— I don't think."

"You... Don't think?"

As we walked in the direction of the apartment, a part of me secretly worried that Poseidon knew about how closely Percy and Luke have been working with each other these last 18 months or so. If that's what this was about.

"It's... Hard for gods to understand mortal issues." My former lover reminded me, which is something I knew perhaps too well. "Which is what this seems to be. But Perseus and I spoke the other day, during the winter solstice, and it went not nearly as well as I expected it to."

Percy talked to his dad?

He didn't mention that when he got back.

Maybe it was before he had the panic attack or break down or whatever it was, so he didn't think to mention it. Maybe it was just small talk so he didn't find it important enough to mention.

But if that's the case, why is Poseidon here?

He paused.

"Not that I expected our son to run up to me and ask to play catch— if that's something that mortals fathers still do with their sons." I chuckled at that clarification, because it was such a silly idea: Percy and Poseidon playing catch together. "I understand that I am not around, and that he takes that personally. That, for him, it makes our relationship appear to be strained, even if I don't share that same sentiment. He was very cold the first time we met, and I had mostly excused it seeing as our world was still so new and you had nearly died in his eyes and he had just completed a quest, so it was understandable that he was tense, but... He was still very cold. At the solstice, I mean. He was very guarded and closed off until suddenly he wasn't, and when he wasn't..."

Poseidon paused, debating his next statement.

"Did Percy ever talk to you about Tyson this summer? I know that you knew of him, being the boys went to school together before camp, but did he speak of what happened at camp after the year ended?"

"Did he... About Tyson being his brother, or about the quest the two of them went on with Annabeth?"

"Either, I suppose."

Thinking back on what Percy has told me about this last summer— or Grover, for that matter, I realized how little Percy told me about the actual events of camp.

Like, he talks about his friends quite a bit and we will the basic story of a quest if he goes on one, but... That's it.

"He uh... I know he was really sad after Tyson left camp," I told the god, racking my brain for any more details from my son's summer. "I don't think he ever told us, or at least me, why Tyson didn't stay, just that he hated having his own cabin because it felt empty and lonely. We made a couple visits to camp after that, since he wasn't doing well. He'd mention that he missed Tyson. That he felt bad for how he treated Tyson their first few days at camp. Why?"

"He never mentioned me when he talked about Tyson leaving?"

I shook my head.

"No, why? You didn't have something to do with that, did you? Percy doesn't really... Talk about you that much."

Averting his gaze, Percy's father informed me of the fact that he had a heavy hand in Tyson leaving camp early because he had invited Tyson to live with him.

"Oh." I said. "So you invited the boys to stay with you instead of stay at camp for the summer? Without... Mentioning it to anybody else?"

Poseidon sealed his lips.

"It... Wasn't a summer thing." He clarified. "and because it wasn't a summer thing, and because our first meeting went so well, I didn't even consider giving Percy the same offer. After all, he'd never leave you, Sally— he went to the Underworld for you. Not for me."

"Yeah, well... You were never there for him," I pointed out. "Even if it's because of rules you had no control over, you still weren't in his life, so that shouldn't surprise you. So Tyson left because you gave him a place to stay— did you talk to Percy at all after the quest this summer?"

"Well... No."

"So why did you feel the need to track me down? Is Tyson worried Percy's mad that he moved?"

"No, Tyson isn't... Tyson's doing great, I think he's sent a few letters to Percy, but I don't really know." The god continued as we waited a few blocks away from the apartment for a signal to turn green for us to continue walking. "I was just wondering if you've heard anything about this from Percy because I think he's upset or mad with me. We spoke the other day at the solstice meeting, and he went on this long tangent that turned into this crying episode where I really couldn't understand him, so I got Apollo to help and his goat boyfriend came to help as well— weird relationship those two have, but once he calmed down again, he was tired and didn't seem like he wanted to talk. So we didn't. I just wanted to make sure things are alright with Perseus and I, because things were intense the other day."

"You wanted to..."

As we crossed the street, I pondered the number of ways that I could to explain to the father of my son that he was delusional.

"Poseidon," Stopping at the corner, two blocks from the apartment, I rested my hands on my stomach. An instinct I'll have to fight until we make the announcement during the party tonight. "Listen to yourself talk. Unless something drastically changes, things are never going to be alright between you and Percy. Yeah? He never wanted you in his life, and his mental health has only declined since you and your family became prevelant. That's enough to be at a disadvantage with him, but if you invited your other kid to stay with you and not him? It'd be more than reasonable for him to be upset about that— especially if you didn't talk to him at all."

"But I thought he wouldn't want to..."

"He probably wouldn't want to stay with you, you're right," I agreed with his point there. "But you're still supposed to offer it to him so he has the chance to say no if he wants to. You not offering, you not even saying anything to him, but having Tyson move in with you immediately, sends a very clear message to him that you either don't want him or don't care about him. I don't care how true the statement is, that's how he perceived it. So if you want to fix things, you have to figure it out with him, not with me."

"Sally—"

Reaching out as I unlocked the apartment door, Poseidon went to grab my hand.

Immediately, I pulled away.

"I have a husband, Poseidon," I reminded my ex, who's expression dropped at the rejection. As if that rejection were anything new. "A husband that I'm renewing my vows with tonight. So if you don't mind, I have a party to get ready for. Don't reach out to Percy until at least tomorrow, if you do at all— he needs a fun night, and he deserves for you to not ruin it for him."

"E— woah, sorry." Eddy said as he was sneaking out of the apartment complex, instantly clocking the tension between Poseidon and I. He was probably meeting Gabe down the block at wherever they're getting ready for tonight. "everything okay?"

Poseidon didn't move. I looked him up and down.

"Fine, Eddy, thank you." I reassured one of Gabe's oldest friends. "Go home, Poseidon— or anywhere that isn't here. Your company isn't wanted."

"But—"

"Did I stutter?" I repeated myself. "go."

•••
Luke Castellan

When I saw Hermes in my closet mirror, I seriously pondered if Kronos had somehow send a vision to see if I'd go crazy or not.

My first reaction upon seeing the god of thieves in the mirror was to move the mirror so he'd be out of frame and then move it back, thinking he'd vanish. After all, there's no way my father would come visit me.

Not at the things Annabeth was supposed to tell them that Percy and co. Would've had to back her up on. Verify.

But no. He was... Still there. In the mirror.

Very funny. I thought to the Titan.

What? He thought in return, sounding offended.

Maybe if I ignore Hermes, Kronos will make it go away and—

"Luke." The voice caused me to pause because it was identical to how he sounded the only time we ever spoke personally. "I am no vision— I know you can see me in the mirror."

Hesitating, I turned around to face the father who was really good at doing anything but be there for any of his kids.

"Sorry for being skeptical— it's not like we've spoken since I left Mom's. What do you want?"

Opening his mouth, Hermes considered his words carefully. Closing it again, he reached a hand out.

"I..." but for being the god of messengers, my father struggled to find his own words. His hand dropped. "Annabeth Chase told us on during the solstice— what you've been up to."

I shrugged.

"And?" I prompted. "What, did Zeus hearing his dad's name scare him, so he sent you to talk to me? The last time we spoke, I lived in Connecticut with Mom. So again, why are you here?"

My aggression caused him to take a step back. He looked down, noticing something on my hand. His expression turned from apologetic and sad to confused.

"You're... Engaged?" My dad asked, pointing out the ring that Thalia gave me the other day after I gave them their birthday present. "apologies, that's off topic, and I swear I'll answer the question, but... You're engaged? To who?"

Looking down at the band, I moved it around with my other hand.

"It's more of a... Promise than an engagement ring." I clarified, seeing him take a breath of relief for some reason after that. "so I hopefully don't... Forget things later on. It was Aphrodite's idea, apparently— she mentioned it to Thalia on the quest. Thalia bought them after we got back to New York."

"So you don't forget..." My father lost his voice as his expression slowly dropped, an expression I've gotten used to ever since it's become public knowledge that I won't let somebody else clean up my mess for me. "You're not..."

Hermes mouth hung open. His eyes glossed over— somebody that both angered and saddened me all at the same time because he should be sad that this is what it came to, but he never acted like why he cared before, so why start now?

"I thought she was just speculating— Luke, if you try to host a titan, you'll burn up, you can't... No mortal body could handle the physicality of that, and the mental load... He'll kill you, Luke." But this is a warning I've been given before. It has little affect on me by this point. Taking a step towards me, my dad put his hands on my shoulders. It startled me. "Hell, I could barely handle the mental load of something like that. If, by some miracle, you survived that, Luke, you'll be so much worse than your mother was after her incident with the Oracle."

But the way he looked at me...

Hermes seemed desperate for me to understand his point. For me to reassure him that I wasn't stupid enough to do this.

He looked at me like he was wondering if I was already gone.

He looked at me the way I used to look at Mom.

It terrified me.

"Luke, you can't... Look, I know I'm an awful father," the god admitted straightway. "I didn't come here to convince you I'm not because I get it, I always have, but this..."

My dad's eyes softened, a layer of confusion washing over them.

"I watched you advocate for every kid in that camp for what? Five years? Six years?" He reminded me, a point that nobody has ever mentioned. "And I know the point of this is that we didn't listen to you— Chiron didn't listen to you. But if you do this, Luke, what are you forcing those kids to go through? Possible battles? A war? One that, if you don't have control over yourself and your body, you might not even get what you want out of. Who benefits from that, Luke? How many ideas did you exhaust before you settled on this?"

He paused.

"Or was it not your idea in the first place?"

Confused, I asked what he meant by that question.

"Stealing my father's lightning bolt," Hermes elaborated. "Poisoning the borders of Camp Half Blood. Planning to go to war. We're those your ideas? Or was it... Somebody else's?"

Gah! What right does he have to know who's created our plans to reclaim the power of the Olympians. Kronos said in my mind. This god hasn't been there for you like I have, Luke. Don't let him get to you.

I looked down.

"Some of it was mine, some wasn't," I lied. "That's what happens when you work with somebody— you have to compromise."

"And the lives of the demigods you fought so hard to protect get stuck in the middle of that compromise?"

"Who said there would be a war?"

"Luke, you nearly incited a civil war by taking the Master Bolt," he reminded me, which I hated to admit was a good point. "You know what Kronos wants— that won't happen without a fight. The question is if it's all of us against him, or if you remain with him."

There was a pause.

"It's just something to think about." The god of messengers insisted, taking a step back. "remember what you're fighting for— who you're fighting for. Percy and Annabeth, well mostly Percy, talked Zeus and the rest of us into arranging a meeting with you to discuss demands so we don't have to go to war with your great grandfather. Chiron will be there as well. After hearing about the situation at camp, I think a lot of us— or, at least half of us, are a lot more open to being critiqued as parents. Just remember— we're made to be perfect at some things, but we're not perfect perfects."

Opening my mouth, I choked on all of the possible responses I could've given my dad to that.

"I didn't... None of us expected perfection." I pointed out, trying to stay calm, knowing that if he pushed this subject, it wouldn't last for long. "It would be stupid if we expected gods to be perfect parents, but we expected you to still be there— we have entire cabins devoted to you guys. Hell, we're sorted by our parents at camp, so it would be so easy to see all of us at once. But no— the last time we spoke was before I went to camp. You issued me a quest without ever talking to me about it. Do you know how pissed off I was about that?"

Hesitating, Hermes asked how pissed I was about the quest.

"I was furious!" Raising my voice, I told a controlled breath. "Everything changed for the worse after that quest. I mean, it was a quest that's already been done before— what kind of honor was in that? You're one of the fastest gods, as well, so there was no reason you couldn't get an apple if you wanted it, so I threw the quest— figured that if you couldn't show your face to give the quest, even in a dream, then you wouldn't do it no matter how the quest ended, right? Getting back and becoming counselor immediately... It's no wonder that every other councilor steps down as soon as they can because being the counselor of cabin 11 is exhausting. Nobody gets along, the older unclaimed kids are always angry and envious of everyone else in the cabin, the claimed kids who don't have their own cabins feel out of place and like they don't belong it like they shouldn't be there, and the actual Hermes kids don't want the others there because it's so cramped in that cabin, it's... A miracle there hasn't been a civil war in that cabin before now. Plus, the new unclaimed kids require so much attention and... I spent years after that arguing with Chiron and Mr. D about how camp operated— or at least, how Cabin 11 operates and it... Never went anywhere. So fine, I wanted something to get done because I was angry and I was stressed and I was exhausted all the time— Kronos was in my dreams for a long time before I engaged with him. He said he could help fix the camp, he said he could bring Thalia back. So shoot me for caving, but what other option did I have? How many times did I beg and plead and talk and ask nicely for the things that we needed? It obviously wasn't working."

Taken back by my outburst, Hermes opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He looked stunned.

"I have no issue with how you do your job— I have absolutely no interest in overthrowing Olympus because I don't know a single demigod that would seriously want to ascend." I clarified, crossing my arms. "I have an issue with how you and every other god just decided one day that it was okay to abandon your kids like you aren't our parents. We don't expect perfect, but we expect something. Anything. You don't have to come out and play catch or whatever, but send the cabin a message or poke your head in if you're making deliveries anyways. I know that right now, technically, your hands are tied because the no contact thing is a law, but why? That's such a stupid law, I... It's stupid and it hurts everyone. Both kids like Travis and Connor who have never gotten to meet you, I presume, and kids like me. You were around when I was little. Not a lot, but I knew you and you were there enough that I could always picture you in my mind. Until one day you stopped coming around, and I didn't understand why because Mom didn't understand why, and then the Oracle thing happened and..."

My voice trailed off as I was starting to lose steam.

"Luke, I am sorry about what happened to your mother," but the issue has always been that sorry doesn't do anything. "I know you don't want to hear it, but I am, and I couldn't... The Oracle is out of my control, as is health. Both of those things belong to Apollo. I couldn't fix your mother— I would've if I could've."

And that's it: the core misunderstanding.

"I never expected you to fix her instantly— I know that's out of your realm." I said in return. "If you could've, it would've been great, but I wanted you to help her if you couldn't fix her. Whether that was helping her go to therapy or sending her money because she couldn't work or... Something. Something so I could've gone to camp when I wanted to, not when I had no choice but to. I miss Mom. I miss cooking with her and helping her with restorations around the house and I miss going to the station with her to see how much stuff was needed to run a transit system and I... I don't know if I'll ever get that back, but I to get those back, even if it's not the same."

Sucking his lips in, dad took in what I was saying.

"Then why don't you go and talk to her." Hermes suggested. "It's been ten years— see if she's made any improvements on her own. See if she's open to therapy or to seeing a psychiatrist. If she is, then we can talk about it before or after the meeting with the rest of the Olympians. If you agree to meeting with us, that is. Regardless, let me know, and we'll figure something out."

"Let you know? How am I supposed to track you down? I've never been able to get ahold of you before, how would I know how to now?"

He gave me a skeptical look.

"Did you ever try to?" But that was a good point. "If nothing else, you can always pray to me. It's not really prayer since you're my kid, but I'll hear it. I'll come find you. Okay?"

Hesitant, I nodded.

"And I'll meet with you guys— or, we will, I'll have a few people with me." I told the god of messengers. "And tell Mr. D that I'll need him to back me up when I talk with Chiron."

My father raised an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued.

"Oh? I'll pass the message on." He smiled. "I'm proud of you for sticking up for what you believe in, Luke— even if I don't like how you're doing it. Tell your mom I say hi."

"Tell her yourself." I returned, raising up the tie I had in my hand when he's gotten here. "I'll... Talk to you later. I have a not-wedding to go to with Thalia. You might want to console Mr. D about that when you see him— I heard he got uninvited."

"Getting denied of any reason to get out of that camp is enough to get his panties in a twist, I'm sure." Dad commented, pulling something out of his messenger bag. A small box with my name on it. "for you. You don't have to open it now— I was going to give it to you years and just... Never got around to it. So I'm sorry. I'll see you later, Luke— have fun tonight, and good luck with your mom."

Saying goodbye, I watched the god vanish as soon as he had appeared.

Leaving me with a box.

A box with my name on it. A box that wasn't a shoe box.

Convenient timing, Kronos piped in, sounding annoying. What, does he want to buy your love or something? Just throw it away.

But my dad's words rang in my ears, like they were stuck there, unable to make it all the way to my brain.

I'm proud of you for sticking up for what you believe in, Luke— even if I don't like how you're doing it.

I threw the box under my bed.

What on earth are you—

"I have a party to get ready for." I said out loud, hoping it'd shut the Titan up. "We can worry about the box later."

•••
I saw so many pelicans this week (went to a pelican festival)