Percy Jackson

I did make a new friend.

Travis and I actually ended up hanging out quite a bit after that, and it was really nice to have another friend, even if most of the campers were still really standoffish around me.

Oh, also, that first day that he broke into the camp shop with Connor, he stole a blanket that he gave to me that's actually very soft.

After a few weeks, though, maybe three weeks after we spoke in the training arena, I had another bad day. It wasn't as momentous of a bad day as that day had been— I didn't have another big break down in front of Mr. D, but I just generally felt like shit. I had a panic attack when I woke up because of a nightmare that I don't even remember and it just set me up for failue the rest of the day.

I think I laid on the floor of the lake outside for almost an hour after breakfast just to try and clear my brain a little, but it didn't do much.

Unlucky, this day happened on a fucking Thursday, which had become the night that I show Travis shit he's missed by living at camp. Last week we watched some cult classic movies, and this week we were going to watch high school musical, which is a good movie series, but I just... Couldn't focus. I kept getting pulled away from the movie by my brain.

"Percy?" Travis said for what I don't think was the first time. "Hey, I was just going to go get more popcorn between films, but are... You okay?"

"Hm?" I asked, pulling myself out of my daze just enough to talk with him. "oh, yeah, sorry. I'm fine."

But he's not an idiot, so he didn't believe me.

"You seem sad," Travis told me, which was probably true. It's hard to tell my emotions apart a lot of the time when most of them just make me feel somewhat like shit anyways. "What's going on? Why are you sad?"

And because he's a caring person, Travis wasn't going to let this just slide. He put the empty bowl down and turned to face me so I had his undivided attention.

Really making tonight worth his time, I just shrugged. He offered me a hand, I took it.

"I don't know," I answered, feeling like an idiot as I did so. "I'm always sad."

That sentence seemed to confuse him.

"You're not always sad," and at first, I was worried that Travis Stoll was going to undermine my mental health. "Even if you're sad a lot, I've seen you angry before, which is different than sad, and you've been embarrassed and I've heard you laugh more than I'm sure the other campers have, and while you can laugh while sad, not all of those were sad laughs. What's going on, though?"

Once again, because I'm good at talking about myself and my emotions, I just shrugged.

"Just... Depression doing it's thing, more than likely," I confided to the son of Hermes, who seemed a little surprised by that. "Yeah, uh... Yeah. Please don't worry about it, it's just my brain."

"Well I think," Travis responded, placing his lips in the form of a kiss against my temple— something that surprised me I think as much as it did him. "That your brain should not do that. I know it's not that simple because if it was they'd have like, no more mental illnesses that lasted any longer than a common cold, but if you need me to, I can break into a pharmacy and steal some depression meds for you so then it's free. I uh..."

And slowly, Travis realized what just happened. He stopped for a second, blinding a few times before speaking again.

"Yeah." The son of Hermes concluded, his slightly confusion and embarrassment making me smile just the tiniest amount. "sorry, I just... Don't know why I did that. Sorry, I know that physical contact isn't really your thing, I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay," I promised Travis, squeezing his hand to get hit attention back and flashing him what I could manage for a smile, which was more than it had been a few minutes prior thanks to the slightly older demigod (Travis is 4 months older than me). "I like scrawny brunettes, remember? It's a bonus if they've already stolen a really nice blanket for me, too."

Dear readers, I hope you enjoy that. Because it's the only time I'll ever be that smooth.

Travis blushed.

"And you don't have to break into a pharmacy for me," I promised him. "I'm getting meds soon, because according to Mr. D, I shouldn't feel like I want to die when I wake up in the morning."

"I think for like, the first time in my life, I agree with Mr. D," the son of Hermes commented, which was fair. The wine god isn't exactly the most agreeable person at camp. "Would you be interested in a sleepover in that case?"

But Travis staying over here would be an inconvenience for him.

"You don't have to do that, Travis."

Because then he has to get up earlier to meet his cabin and then Luke might get mad that he was out past curfew without notice and I'm just one person.

"Well I know I don't have to, I don't have to do anything," Travis told me after rolling his eyes. "But if you want me to, I'll stay."

Plus, I'm sure he'd want to sleep in his actual bad.

"Travis, you don't..." But Mr. D's voice popped back into my head from the first time we really spoke: you're allowed to have sleepovers.

My voice faltered.

"Do you not want to sleep in your bed?"

Travis cracked a smile.

"It's too late for me to get a bed tonight, I'd be on the floor," but hearing that, I felt bad that I'd kept him late for the last three Thursdays and made him sleep on the floor just because I wanted to spend time with him. "hey," he interrupted my guilt. "Don't feel bad— I get a bed like every other night, some of those kids almost never get to sleep in a bed, so I'll give them a night to have a better chance at getting a bunk. Also, this isn't about me. Do you want me to stay the night?"

But guilt is a hard monster to kill. It stuffed my chest up and made it just hard enough to breathe that I couldn't let myself say what I should.

"I— if you want to."

And maybe it's because he's a good person, or maybe it's just because he's very perceptive, but Travis wouldn't let my guilt win this battle.

"Percy," the son of Hermes broke the situation down. "Would it be helpful to you if I stayed the night so you aren't alone when you wake up?"

Feeling bad about it, I shrugged and nodded.

"I mean... Yeah. Probably."

He smiled like it wasn't a big deal that I was making him stay over.

"Then I stay," he insisted, grabbing the popcorn bowl and standing up. "I'm going to go make another bowl of popcorn, do you want to help?"

And I didn't know how one could help make microwave popcorn, but I wanted to be around Travis, so I took the offer and quickly realized as we walked out of my room that this might've just been  a ploy for him to get me out of bed for a few minutes so I couldn't wallow in my own misery.

That or maybe it was a ploy to continue holding my hand.

We were still holding hands.

Or maybe it wasn't a ploy at all.

Either way, I was happy that I could at least try to be useful as we made another bag of popcorn before watching the last high school musical together and falling asleep on my bed.

•••

The rest of summer seemed to dredge on, but around the end of July I was able to start meds and that helped a lot. I felt like I could actually have fun for the first time in weeks, even if I still didn't feel great about other kids at camp.

Between Grover and Travis, I didn't sleep alone in my cabin most nights, which was good. There were a lot of nights that I needed somebody there, and luckily, I had that support. Luke and Annabeth also checked in pretty regularly and we still hung out, but they're both counselors and Annabeth is also a girl so they can't really... Sleep over.

Travis and I ended up developing this weird 'not quite boyfriends' relationship that carried on most of the summer—being touchier in private, cuddling, maybe even stealing a kiss here or there.

It was fun, I'll admit, to have somebody that I could be intimate with, but by the end of summer, I couldn't handle being in that gray area anymore. So we talked about it and he insisted that he didn't want to be official. He wasn't ready for a relationship.

So that was that.

It made me sad, but I tried to not let it show too much. I was just... Glad that he was honest about it, I guess?

Annabeth and I slowly developed a friendship over the summer as we learned to not fight every single time we were around each other.

Grover and I continued about the same throughout the summer—almost inseparable whenever our schedules allowed us to hang out. We had a lot of sleepovers both at my cabin and at his.

Now, at the end of summer, he was packing to leave for his search that would put him... Not in the area for an unknown amount of time.

I was just trying not to think about it.

Luke continued to give me one on one lessons all summer and be the big brother I never had. Eventually, he told me a story or two about Thalia from their time on the run together, but it wasn't a lot. I could see that the stories hurt him still.

Which I get, seeing as he's leaving camp this fall for the first time since his quest. He turns 18 soon, and Chiron was able to get him into a public college in Manhattan.

"Will you be back next summer?" I asked Luke, who gave me a sad smile.

"I don't think so," but I didn't blame the son of Hermes for wanting to have a life, so the news didn't anger me. "I'm sure Chiron will give you lessons— he did them with me, but who knows: maybe by next summer the kids won't be so weird about doing activities with you. I'm done, but I'll be in the city so I'll definitely come say hi from time to time. You live in the city right? In Manhattan? If you're going home this fall, that is."

"I'd rather die than stay here all year," I confirmed, then paused because Luke was a year-round camper. "No offense. I just... Miss my mom. And Dad. But more my mom than my dad."

Luke smiled.

"None taken, I'm frankly sick of this place," the older demigod reassured me with a sigh. "tired of being a pawn of the gods— good for you for going back home, honestly. I know Chiron can put pressure on kids to stay, but like... We're kids."

"Yeah, I don't know how to talk to him half of the time anymore since the quest concluded." I agreed with his last statement. "I wonder at times if he didn't think I would come back from my quest but like... It's stupid, I don't know."

"Hey, it's not stupid," Luke insisted. "I felt the same way when I got back from mine, and mine was something that's... Been done before. At first it felt kind of shitty that I couldn't even manage to like, do what's been done before but eventually I realized that..."

His voice drifted.

"I mean what's the point, right? Where's the glory in repeating what others have already done?" He asked, his tone shifting as he crumpled his can of coke in his hands. "All the gods seem to know how to do is repeat their past, so my heart wasn't in it and I... Got his scar. The dragon got me, whatever. I'm... Just tired of it. Of them."

Luke motioned vaguely towards the sky.

"I don't expect you to get it, but if you ever need somebody to complain to about this place, I'm a call away. IM, whatever." The son of Hermes told me, which would be good to know in all honesty. "Annabeth... Doesn't get it. She's still defensive of the gods."

I rolled my eyes.

"You're telling me?" I responded, remembering her responses every time I'd talk negatively about the gods. "She was always on me whenever I'd say something that might not appease the gods as if my very existence doesn't already do that. But that's a different story for a different time. I should go finish packing— I don't want to leave my parents waiting."

Luke flashed me a smile, the look in his eyes sad, yet content.

"Have a good year, Percy." Luke Castellan concluded. "I'll see you around."