I am so afraid.
So afraid of losing my control one day. Of beeing on the ground as everybody want me to be.
Of being alone with all my memories which replay again and again in my mind. Which remind me again and again of my past.
Of breaking down and cannot breath anymore.
Of not being able to stop my tears anymore.
Of not being able to switch off all my emotions.
Of not being able to oppress my past.
Of not being able to keep the control. The control of myself.
I knew exactly that that one day will arrive and that I will lose my control on that day. And I also know very well that I will not be able to influence it. And this makes me so afraid.
I am afraid.