The hours between 12 am to 4
Possess a characteristic so unique,
They sometimes make one feel they're on top of the world,
And other times, in nethers and beneath

Its the other kind of night today,
And i sit in my balcony
Its a new moon night, i realise
As tears stream down my cheeks

Yet, i make no efforts to wipe them
For my body is too limp to pretend
So i let myself drown in those tears,
Whose taste i reckon I'd never forget

But the truth is,
I could never actually forget,
I carry the mark of every syllable on my soul,
Its the same burden that now weighs me down,
Whispering in my ears in the voice of whose blood i bore

'A mistake', 'burden', 'you were better of never born'
How amusing indeed that u steal those words right out of my mouth.
And no, i could never blame you,
Dear mother....for those are the words even i could never deny
Yes, i realise what a burden i am
Yes, i do sympathise.

But i could never speak....
I could never say how sorry i am
For my tongue feels stuck to my jaw,
And a hand invisible and invincible,
It stays on my throat,
Making me pathetically choke down every word on a sob.

So i stay silent,
As i hear u go through all the reasons
That tell me what an ungrateful child i am
I could only smile
Nd let u vent,
To repent for the sins that i never realised i commited

I wish the hand, for a moment, it eases..
So i could, for once, let out those screams
That, like ripples in ocean
Tear their way from my heart's deep within

But it all dies down
And its all thanks to you
I finally go numb when u tell me
'What does it matter to us if u exist or do not do.. '
Oh, dear...
I wish i do not do

And this gives the answer to
The biggest question in humans head...
Who else would care, if you exist
Or do not do?

And so i let myself feel numb
As i soak in all the words with a smile
For i know,
That even if the hand on my throat eases,
My voice...it would never make a difference
Anytime...

Thus, i once again sit in the crisp night air,
Nd let my gaze fix on the abyss,
Drowning in an ocean whose existence no one could ever trace the next morning,
Nd let out screams no ear comprehended,
As i sink...
Sink deep within.

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