"If one day you get your hearing back, but none of them are with you. Then will you be happy?"

"You can't hear but there are people who want to talk to you. You can't listen to them, but still, this does not stop them from listening to you. Even if you have changed, this does not stop them from sharing their feelings with you because you are family. You are so fortunate Jason, please open your eyes, before it is too late."

The entire night I was lying awake without a wink of sleep in my eyes her words... her face flashes before my eyes. No matter how much I try, her words keep on playing like a loop in my head keeping me awake.

How could I sleep when guilt was eating me from inside?

A stranger, an outsider knows my family better than me. Whereas I was doubting their love for me. I have never been so ashamed of myself in my entire life, how much I am feeling ashamed now. I don't even know how I am going to face them?

I say they do not feel my pain...understand what I am going through. While it was me who was wrong, all this time, thinking that they do not care. I was so engrossed in myself... in my pain, that I did not notice how much they are suffering.

No apology will be enough for the way I have behaved with them. No reparation can vanish the pain I have caused to them. But I have to apologize to them and even if they do not forgive me, I will work for their forgiveness.

I have hurt them with my harsh words, now I will try to win them back with my sincere apology.

With a determination in my heart to attempt to mend the damages which I have caused, I make my way downstairs.

However, each step feels heavy, increasing the weight which is crushing my heart. The guilt and regret which I am feeling are almost suffocating me.

The moment I reach downstairs, the first thing I notice that the house is enveloped in a strange quietness.

For me, it is always quiet, but this is something different... something more horrifying. This silence I can feel it inside. The normal noiselessness makes me agitated, but this is making me anxious.

A sigh of relief leaves from my mouth when I find mom and Caleb in the dining room. Dad must have left for work, as he is not in the room.

For one moment... a dreadful one moment, I felt everyone left me like I am all alone, truly alone.

Mom's eyes meet mine as I enter the room, unlike every day her face does not have a smile when she looks at me. Neither she talks to me, turning her head down she continues serving Caleb his breakfast.

Caleb, on the other hand, does not even glances in my direction, he quietly eats his breakfast.

I keep on staring her, with a hope that she will at least look in my direction.

Then my eyes move to Caleb and I can see he is deliberately ignoring me just like mom.

"Good morning." Clearing my throat I sit on my chair. Again my eyes move from mom to Caleb in the hope that anyone of them will talk to me or at least look at my guilt-filled eyes, but no avail.

Mom pours me a glass of apple juice and silently places in front of me, as I make my plate. I wait for her to lovingly place her hand on my head as she used to do every day even when she was angry with me. I raise my eyes to find her clenching her hand on her side and turning away.

Stealing glance at Caleb I see, instead of eating he just moving his food around the plate while staring at it.

"Caleb, I am-"

Without even hearing me, he pushes his plate away then picking up his bag from the floor he leaves for school without even glancing at me.

Tears springs to my eyes, watching my brother's retreating figure as this is the first time he left for school without giving me a hug.

I was the one who took him to his first day of school because he was afraid. From that day until now, every day he gave me a hug before going to school. But today he just left without even talking to me.

It pains my heart to see how much I have hurt him, with my words.

Swallowing hard, I move my gaze away from the door, from which Caleb has just gone, to mom. She is also staring at the door, with moist eyes. Silently, she picks up his plate and walks to the kitchen.

Quickly standing up, I tightly hug her from behind halting her steps.

"I am sorry mom." I breakdown into tears, as I hug her. "I am so so sorry, please forgive me." My voice croaks, and hiding my face on her shoulder I feel tears rolling down from my eyes.

Even I have hurt her, but still, her presence is comforting me this causes more tears to fall from my eyes.

I feel her taking a shaky breath but she doesn't say anything. She keeps standing with her back to me as I tightly hug not letting her go.

"Shout at me, or even beat me," I whisper biting my lip as tears slide down my face. "But please talk to me. I can live with the soundlessness, however, I can't bear your silence. Please punish in any way you want, but not this." I shake my head taking a ragged breath.

"Please, mom..." I cry, "Please..."

Mom gently pries off my arms and turns to face me. I keep looking down at the floor not having the courage to look into her eyes.

She holds my face in her hands, making me look at her.

"I am sorry..." I quietly repeat, looking at her face on which tears are running down slowly, the dark circles undereye telling what I am not the only one who could not sleep last night.

"No, Jason, I am sorry." She shakes her head and caresses my face, wiping my tears. "I am a bad mother." She looks aways as tears fall from her eyes.

"No, you are the best mother any child could have ever asked for." Holding her hands in both hands I shake my head.

"I am the one who is bad... I am a bad son, a bad brother and a bad friend." I tear my gaze away from her, not able to meet her eyes. "I misunderstood your love for me as a pity. I thought I am a burden on you guys, but I should have known this better. I humiliated your love and now look now everyone actually hates me." I humorless laugh escapes from as I remember Nick and Caleb's hurt-filled gaze.

"You have hurt everyone, Jason. But they do not hate you, just give them some time. They will forget this." She speaks and also uses sign language to help me understand some words.

After the doctor informed me of losing my hearing ability. I took sign language classes, along with me, mom, dad, Caleb, and Nick, also learned sign language. So that they can easily talk to me. Because I can't fully rely on lip-reading to understand them.

The more I think about the things which they have done for me, the more I realize my mistake of misunderstanding them.

"Hurt caused by the hand of the person you love the most is really great." She sighs, while running her hand over my head, "However, sometimes the only person who can soothe the pain is the same person who has caused the hurt."

"I understand that you are hurt, but this does not give you the right to hurt others. Being bitter with everyone will only make you alone, you will not gain anything from it other than hurting yourself." She cups my face, "My Jason is not someone who will hurt others, he is the one who tries to make everyone happy. Wherever he goes he brings a smile on everyone's face."

"I do not know what to do, mom." I sigh, "I can't even look into their eyes."

"You know what you have to do," she signs while giving me a small smile, "You have hurt them? Yes. So now you will truly show them how much you regret all those words, by apologizing to them."

Leaning down, I hug my mom letting some more tears to fall, as I feel pathetic remembering the harsh words I said to them. Mom holds me while gently rubbing my back, and I am sure she is whispering comforting words in my ear as her breath touches my ear, just the way she always does when I and Caleb need comfort.

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Thank you for reading.