Dearest Caleb,

This letter is indeed mightier than any sword on the planet for this space holds the words I never thought I would be writing to express all my inhibitions that've been hiding for years. It has never come to my senses that one day, I'll be in this part of my existence where I will be open to sharing the gravest, most profound moments with you and as to how it changed my life instantly.

I could still remember the first time I noticed your presence. You were like the sun, shining brightly out and about, walking and gracing the corridors of the seventh grade rooms with your friends. My hands gripped the edge of our classroom's door while looking at you in awe as I heard the unfathomable beat of my heart. We weren't classmates, and the only thing I knew about you at that time was how intelligent you are and how well-spoken you are, even belonging to the top section of the grade level. Everyone would say that you were not handsome because of your pimples and that only your height, you being the president of the class, and your famousness as the basketball's team captain was a factor but in my eyes, you were indescribable.

Eighth grade and unexpectedly, we became classmates. During discussions, I would glance at your place. I would listen to you speaking your answer and receiving praise from teachers. During awardings, I would look at you from afar as you take your certificate for being an achiever. During practices, I would sit in the court chairs while looking at you playing with much confidence and skills. Days like that went along and it made me believe more in love and how powerful it was, to make me feel already happy whenever I see you and your presence. It was more than enough.

And so, anonymously, during intramurals, I wrote a letter, confessing my feelings for you. My hands trembled the moment I saw you running towards the booth and asking who wrote the letter. Since then, you were bothered for the next few days. You kept asking other people who it was because you have a lot of questions. In return, I created an anonymous twitter account and followed you while messaging compliments and greetings especially during Valentine's day. I also created an anonymous gmail account and I would send you emails every single day (in which you replied as well), reminding of how lovable you are inside and out.

It went on for two months not until I heard from the class that you were courting Lilianne, the vice president of the class and the top three overall. My heart sank as I cried in the bathroom alone, hugging myself. It was at that very moment when I realized that all of your actions, all of your words, were all just you being a gentleman to everyone. I was already ready to take risks in showing who I really was. I was already ready to take on a different path, but to no avail, those plans were diminished until gone in an instant. What made me fall bruised more was how you teased me with your friend while saying me and him look good together.  It wasn't your fault that you didn't know I was the anonymous girl who made efforts throughout those months. And it wasn't your fault that you were hurting my feelings just because you are in love with someone else better than what I was.

My feelings for you went on for years. From seventh grade to tenth grade, it was only you that could make me flutter. That could make me tremble whenever you would stare at me intently. That could make me rethink my life choices. It was then, on recognition, that my mother decided for me to move to another school because of travel proximities. And like a light bulb turning on inside my mind, I knew I had to confess since we won't be able to see each other again.

And so I did, two in the morning.

It was almost lunch when I saw your reply. Unlike before, I wouldn't budge that much while waiting for your replies. I wasn't already that excited. But my heart was already content with your three-paragraph replies. Still a gentleman, you graced me through your introduction paragraph, giving me thanks to all I did and how I helped you in your toughest times. You even flattered me with your body paragraph, telling me how you still remembered every moment we shared. And you affected me both ways in your concluding paragraph, gently telling me that you cannot reciprocate the love I had for you. I moved with a smile after reading everything because...it was already enough.

Thank you, Caleb. Forever, I will be grateful for that opportunity—the opportunity of meeting you in this world. It was unexpected knowing you in this lifetime, like words in serendipity that I shall never seek to find again for I will be loving myself more than anyone now.

From someone who doesn't believe on invisible strings anymore,

Alleia

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