— ❝heartbreak makes
the heart ache.❞

In the big, dark bedroom Hazel shot up from her bed, sitting upright. The sheets around her had shuffled in her sleep. It hadn't even been three seconds since she'd woken up, but Hazel Callahan was wide awake. Her heavy breathing filled the room as she tried to wrap her head around what just happened.

            She'd awoken from a very... effusive dream. She still wasn't sure what exactly to make of it. But she knew she wished for it to last longer. She woke up just before it got too steamy. Hazel fell back in her bed. The thought of that strange dream about a certain redhead still lingered in her mind.

            The smile could not have been wiped off of Hazel's face all night long. She was overjoyed with the newfound aspect in the relationship she had with Estelle and, if she was being honest, she was ready to make it official. Hazel had never been in a relationship, nor had she known what it felt like, but she was certain about this. Hazel Callahan had a big, fat crush on Estelle Morrigan !

She tried to shut her eyes and drift back to sleep, but her thoughts kept spinning and spinning. There was no way she was going to fall back asleep in these conditions. Hazel checked her phone for the time. 5.03 AM. Not as bad as she'd anticipated. So she decided to get up.

            Picking out an outfit, Hazel already realised today was going to be a warm day. Hazel looked at the pieces of clothing in her closet. She tilted her head, thinking of what Estelle would like more. She reached beyond all the oversized clothes to a white tank top. She remembered putting that away because it was so revealing.

            But today she found it was the perfect day to pick it up again. Hazel had no interest taking off the green sports bra underneath, which showed clearly. After getting ready furthermore, Hazel put her earbuds in and took off to school.

            Her head filled with the thought of seeing Estelle again and her stomach with butterflies. She saw the familiar sight of the sea of red locks from dozens of feet away.  Hazel sped up her pace, a smile planted firmly on her face.

            However, that smile dropped when she saw Estelle being greeted by someone else. A blond guy. Hazel recognised him as Logan, one of the football players. Slowly taking the earbuds out of her ears, she watched them from a distance, her eyebrows knitted together throughout the entire interaction. Her eyes never leaving Estelle's sight, Hazel hid behind a car.

            She watched how Estelle handed him a letter. Her head tilted, seeing how Logan's smile grew before giving her a kiss on her cheek. Logan walked away and Estelle looked at her surroundings. Hazel ducked behind the car before she could see her.

            Hazel couldn't help the tears that sprung in her eyes. Had she been cheated? Lied to? Had Estelle had a boyfriend this entire time? Hazel quickly wiped a tear that threatened to fall. She fell back against the car, leaning her head against it.

            "Hey, loser, get away from there!" Hazel looked up to the booming sound of Jeff Morrigan's excruciating voice. He stood towering over her with that oh-so-irritating smug face. "We're shooting here, so get lost." A pebble was thrown her way, making Hazel scurry away rapidly.

She put her earbuds back in her ears. This time, her music was most doubled in volume, in an attempt to drown out what she just saw. Hazel was like a ghost, roaming the halls of Rockbridge Falls High School. No one spoke to her. Her gaze was stuck in front of her. Hazel lived in a blur.

            The rest of the day, Hazel would have to try and get the image of Estelle and that guy kissing. Though... how could she? When the picture was already burning into the core of her existence.

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Estelle had never not looked forward to the club, but when she spoke momentarily with Josie about the plans for today, she sure as hell wasn't so excited about it anymore. They'd decided to follow through with Hazel's proposal and take a meeting to share personal experiences with the group. Estelle wasn't too fond of this subject.

"So, we know that the club has been a place where we can feel empowered physically, but we also thought it could be a safe space and a place where we can open up and talk about our feelings." Josie opened the meeting.

PJ spread her arms. "Okay, so who's been raped? Just, you know, raise your hand."

Estelle saw a few girls hesitate to put their hands up. No one was going to be the only one to confess. PJ must've known that as well. "Grey area stuff counts too." She added.

Then, the hand of pretty much every girl in the room shot up in the air. Estelle's eyes were only on Hazel — whose hand went up surprisingly fast — as she lifted her own arm. Now, not a single hand was still laying in the girls' lap.

"Everybody knows the situation with my stepdad," Sylvie decided to begin. "He's just obsessed with Friday movie nights. I mean, God, I get it, you're my new stepdad, but... fuck, whatever. You know?"

"Every time I call the police about my stalker, they tell me to fill out an online form. And then the form tells me to call, so I call and then they say they can't get involved until he tries to kill me," Stella-Rebecca added. She had a sort of humorous tone in her voice, though Estelle was sure that was just a coping mechanism. "And he keeps saying he's going to... but that doesn't count. So, it's, like, annoying."

Estelle's eyes visibly widened at Stella's story. She was aware of the fucked up system America had, but this she wasn't aware of. No wonder girls never call the police about what happened to them.

PJ nodded in her direction. "Been there," She said. "We've all been there." She most certainly had not been there.

"Well, I've been assaulted, like, a million times," Brittany raised her hand when she started speaking. "But I'm more annoyed that everyone knows me for being beautiful and popular and no one knows that I'm actually smart and super driven. Like, I literally own a jewellery business and no one talks about it!"

Seeing the reactions of everyone in the gymnasium, Estelle guessed they indeed didn't know about Brittany's business. In the early stages, before she started dealing, Brittany had come to Estelle for help regarding the prices, since she was the top of their economics class. So Estelle knew before, not that she'd ever bought anything from her.

Brittany glanced around the room. "See!"

"Well, ever since my parents' divorce, my mom has been doing this, like, midlife crisis," Hazel's voice came out soft, especially contradicting Brittany's loud tone from before. "I don't know how that's really sitting with me, you know? It's been really, really dark. This has just been really meaningful to me to, like, get to know some new people who actually want to, like, get to know me."

PJ was quick to interrupt her. "I just want to bring it back to Brittany for one second."

Estelle watched how Hazel's expression fell. A pout took its place on her face as she nodded understandingly. Her eyes were casted at the floor, not daring to look up at anyone, or else she was afraid she might let go of some of the tears she's bottled up since the morning.

"I can go next," Josie raised her hand. "If that's okay. I don't really like talking about juvie and everything that happened this summer, um... You know, obviously, we get a lot of props or whatever 'cause people think it's so badass. But... really wasn't. I mean, unless you consider getting hazed horrifically every single night, like, badass.

It was that Estelle knew the story to be false, but she had to give it to the dark skinned girl, she knew how to bring a story. Hell, even Estelle almost believed it. "I mean, um, obviously, you know, we had to survive the Tributes and, you know, I did have to, like, fight people basically every single night. People were betting on us and we were given, like, shivs and rusty pocket knives and splintered wood and, um, pipes as well. And, um, we had to just, like, fight people, sometimes to the death. Um, and I still hear their screams at night, um, and that guilt probably will, like, always shackle me forever. I realise now, I— I don't have to be that person anymore. Like, I— I don't have to just let things happen to me 'cause of you guys. And, um, I am, like, really grateful for what the club has become and... Um... Just especially, you know, from where we started and, uh..." Josie fell silent momentarily. "Yeah, sorry. I feel like I kinda killed the vibe. I've never really, I guess, said that to anyone before. Sorry. People wanna, like, wrap up maybe or..."

              Josie felt it necessary to wrap up, so she wouldn't get too many questions about her story. She knew she'd crack otherwise. But her partner had other ideas. "No, let everyone else have a turn." She said casually.

            And so everyone who hadn't yet shared a story took their turns one by one. During the rounds, Estelle had laid her head on top of her knees, resting it as she hugged her vest covered legs. It was something she'd always do, ever since being a kid, putting her vest over her legs so she'd look like a very big, hollow shell. Which — in reality — she was.

            She listened intently to every single story told, until they fell silent. And were looking at her.

            She picked it up as a sign that it was her turn. Pointing at her own chest, Estelle marvelled. "Me? No, no, no, I'm good. Hazel, why don't you finish what you wanted to say?" She attempted, but no one agreed. "Guys, what am I supposed to talk about? Everyone knows everything."

            "Maybe start with being related to Jeff?" Annie offered.

             "The antidepressants." PJ added.

             "Or the dealing." Sylvie joined in.

            "Okay, okay! Point made, Jesus." Estelle grumbled.

            PJ tried to help out ( for once in her life ). "Why don't you start with this: What's it like living under the same roof as Jeff?"

            Estelle sighed deeply. Was she really going to be sharing this now? "Honestly? It's like being suffocated. I feel like I can't breathe when I'm around him, because everything I do is wrong," She turned her attention to Isabel. "I mean, no offence, but your boyfriend sucks," Isabel laughed, nodding. "But I can't say that, because if I even say something the slightest of negative, I get the entire town, led by my dad, after me."

            Hazel finally looked at her. The anger and hurt in her eyes this morning had been replaced with something else. Something... pitiful. She tilted her head slightly, her eyes trailing down to Estelle's hands, which were busy fiddling with the ring on her finger. She always had a sad expression on her face, and Hazel guessed it was part of her identity, but Estelle never voluntarily shared something personal. How was she supposed to stay mad at her when she went ahead and said these sorts of stuff?

            "My dad loves Jeff as if he's some sort of God," Estelle chuckled lightly. "I mean, fuck, really? He's the idiot, yet he's your son? And I— I try, okay? I— I make dinner for him, I wash his car, I manage Jeff's Insta account, for fuck's sake," In the rant, Estelle's voice was building up more and more as the passion induced as well. Until she fell silent, and when she talked again, ver voice cracked, being merely a whisper. "I'm nothing to him."

            No one spoke. The picture perfect family that had been painted by the household had been nothing but a big, fat lie ! And people needed a few seconds to process !

            "I'm going through a divorce," Said Mr. G suddenly. He exhaled deeply. "Whoo! That shit felt good to say. Ooh, I'll tell y'all, men— men need therapy."

        "I think that's a good place to... to maybe wrap up."

            Mr. G's small outburst made Estelle laugh again. And that, in return, made Hazel laugh. Even though she'd been hurt and confused about what she had seen, she couldn't stay away. She was the moth to Estelle Morrigan's flame, and, boy, was she bright.

Author's Note
let me tell y'all... in the time that i've been writing this, i've had so many versions of this scene in my head. it ended with this one and i think it's an okay version. there have PROBABLY been better ones that i lost during the day but... im not gonna care, because else im gonna have a breakdown.

doing good for the rest 👍