I don't know much about you
I know that I looked forward to meeting you
To playing with you
But I don't know much about you

I sit there among the pile of cards
Twelve years later
Never had I seen so many cards for one occasion
One after another the same message

Leaning over into the box I sift through the items
A little stuffed bear
A blanket you never got to use
A lock of your hair inside a little bag

The tears roll down slowly
Twelve years later but the pain is stronger
Emotions hit us harder when we're older
At least, that's how it feels

What would you have been like?
Athletic, nerdy, both?
Would you have been kind or smart?
You'd probably have been a better man than I

What would you have looked like?
Who would you take after?
The questions swirl with no answer
The question mark lives endlessly, invisible

I wish I knew more about you
Had at least been able to see you, touch you
But no, not even that was granted
Life is cruel sometimes

On the one hand I could pretend you never lived
But on the other I really can't
So I live on, every now and then simply just
Remembering

But I know one thing
The nurses noticed one thing that made you special
Even as a little baby
And it was your eyes

Never had they seen a baby
With eyes thay could speak the way yours could
As if God knew you would never say a word
So he conspired to let your eyes say everything

Bright, alert, talkative
If that was you as a child
Then no doubt you would eclipse me
As an adult

But that didn't happen
So you're up there just waiting for me
And there's so much more I wish I knew
But I do know one thing

I love you even though you're gone
So I pray that I'll do right by you
And when I have my own son
He'll bear your name