Walking back from that talk may have been the most confusing time of my life.

Odette has this adorably hilarious grin on her face. But every now and then, her smile goes from joyful to what the heck have I done? And I know why.

It's amusing, really. Odette has spent her whole life telling me how much she hates romance and all the drama that comes with it. Oh, I got my fair share of girl's sob stories over some "freak who she shouldn't have made eye contact with in the first place-" as Odette calls them.

And now she looks like she feels she's walked right into a chick flick, loves it, but also wants out now.

Before today, she's never wanted anything to do with romance-unless, of course, it was the subplot of a Broadway show.

"So. Wanna watch The Fault in Our Stars when we get home?" I tease.

It's like she was expecting that since we started walking. Before the sentence is even finished coming out of my mouth she's laughing and saying, "Oh shut up you idiot, NO!"

Is it weird that I love when she tells me to shut up?

"Oh and not a word of this to Jillian, ok? Not now," she instructs.

"Ok, but when?" I chuckle.

"When I have a supply of stuffed animals to throw at her face when she sings about how right she was," she answers without hesitation.

I laugh. "Sounds good."

"Doesn't it?" she says in a sing-song voice.

A pain shoots through the stub of my left arm and I take in a sharp hiss.

"You ok?" Odette asks, looking up at me with a concerned expression.

"Yeah," I force myself to say. "Dette... I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get through the rest of the month..."

She nods as if she was expecting and basically waiting for me to say that.

"Ya know, I'm not thrilled with the idea of staying either. I'm tired and I need to hug the girls."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," I tease.

"Shut your mouth," she says, even as the grin returns to her face.

"I would feel kinda bad for just up and leaving," I admit.

"Dude, you just got your arm hacked off, I think the church group can cut you some slack," she laughs, half nervously as if afraid she was taking the whole arm thing too lightly, too soon.

I smile at her to reassure her that I like the way she can make this situation light. It sucks to lose your arm, it sucks bad and I'm really beginning to realize it. But if we can joke about it, maybe it'll actually help me. That may not be the route others would take but it works for me.

"Yeah, you'd hope," I reply.

Soon enough we're upon our group again, with Jillian pouncing on us like a lion on its prey.

"I swear to Sierra Boggess, if you two keep running off..."

She can't finish her sentence so she just shakes her head while Odette raises her eyebrows.

"Sierra Bogess?" I ask.

"Only the goddess of musicals. She played Christine and Ariel on Broadway," Odette answers as if I'm an idiot for not knowing that.

"Where the heck did you two lovebirds go???" Jillian demands.

I try not to laugh at the irony of the statement while Odette appears to be refraining from kicking her.

"We needed to get away. A lot has happened that you don't know about, Jill," Odette says.

I feel my facial expression change at the seriousness in her tone.

Jillian bites her lip and quietly says, "I know. I'm sorry. I'm... I'm gonna try and get some sleep now."

Odette's face falls and she turns to me with a sigh. "Well, now I feel bad."

"Hey, it's ok," I say pulling her into a hug. "We're all gonna be ok."

Then, the one person who can make me doubt my last statement is clinging onto my leg.

I unlatch from Odette and carefully wrap my arm around Ayana in order to pick her up.

Odette voices my concerns and asks, "What's going to happen to her?"

I shake my head sadly. "I don't know."

Ayana keeps staring at where my left arm used to be.

I struggle until I make eye contact with her and smile, wanting nothing more than to rid her of the guilt she must be feeling. With everything else going on the last thing I want to do is make this little girl feel like what's happened to me is her fault.

But as our eyes remain locked, hers start to water. With the look of guilt in her eyes, you'd think she was the one to fire the gun.

I bounce her a little and hug her tighter to me, trying to send her every happy feeling I've ever felt. Everything in me just wants her to smile.

Mom and Dad walk up to us just then with expressions that tell me they don't want to have the talk they're about to.

"Chris, honey... How are you feeling?"

"Like going home might be a good idea..." I admit after a moment of hesitation.

They nod but I quickly add, "But not until we figure out where this little one is going to go."

Dad furrows his eyebrows. "Doesn't she...?"

I shake my head, already knowing where the question is going.

Dad rubs his temples and Mom licks her lips.

"Well... Honey, the best place for we in that case is the orphanage-"

I open my mouth to protest but Odette beats me to it.

"The orphanage? No. No way in heck. She can't communicate; the orphanage would be awful. She won't get the love she needs-"

"Odette, darling..." her mom cuts in. "We don't have another option.."

"Mom... Could we take her back with us?"

"Odette..."

"Mom, please?"

"Odette, you know we can't do that," her mom pushes out painfully.

Odette's frustration quickly turns to tears and she runs into the hut.

Ayana points in her direction and puts on a concerned expression.

"Yeah..." Mom says sadly. "I think we need to go home..."