9/3/19

Okay, I'll admit it. I get good grades.

I haven't hade a B since I was 9.

And I used to freakin love school.
Like more than summer.

I used to wait for summer to end, so school could begin.

That's when I was in Elementary school. When I had amazing teachers, who actually liked their job, cared about teaching, and loved their students.

When I was allowed to learn the 'Eliza-way' as one of my favorite teachers called it.

My brain hasn't worked well in a school system since elementary school.

My teachers don't care, they make things that are interesting seem like dying, they give you hours of useless homework.

I have had only one really good teachers since elementary school.

If this ever gets out, it's you Mr. Good, keep doing what you do, it really matters.

So to say the least, I'm about a month into school and it already feels like I've been in school for a year.

When will it stop?

I realized that the other day I had started mentally planning what I wanted to to do next summer.

Summer is like 9 months away.

So yeah, school makes me super sad.

And I try not to close my mind off, to be open. I used to open, so open to learning that little things would just flow into my head.

I feel like I've lost that.

And I've never lost that before.

And freakin school did this to me.

The institution that is supposed to open minds and fill them with knowledge.

So yeah, I think I've lost my healthy mindset I had 8 months ago.

The one that wrote all of those deep chapters.

But you know maybe she's still here, but just hiding.

Regardless, I may just have to write myself out again.

And now I have a place to do that.

This is my therapy guys. Except last school year I forgot how to write pretty.

But that's probably me just being over dramatic.

I had hoped this year would be a little better.
It's not.

And this year none of my friends are in my classes, or my lunch hour, or any of my electives.

So it's lonely. And boring. And mind closing.

Save me please.

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I think I'll write about my experience this summer next, it was one of the most amazing things I've ever done. And it makes me happy so I'll talk about that next.

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This was hardly a real chapter, it's more of a update/authors note. I have writers block. I haven't written anything else since January. But I was able to write here, I always have been. So this is weird. But I'm working on it. I hope to see you soon. Tell me if your school year has started yet, if it sucks, if it's great, whatever. I need friends, so please talk to me.