It's itching and making me cough
The interiors of my throat being subjected to torture
A plague inside my gentle soul.

My vision gets hazy
Like the reality is visible under a flashlight
One second it's all dark, and the next moment all light.

My nose is wet and blocked
Breathing heavily, I shiver under the blanket
A bad cough, making me feel worse.

Fears engulf me. No, not the pandemic
As much as it shocks, I know I have gone through this before
Yet, this time, it feels worse.

The eclipse and the death of my ego
So difficult, or is it not?
Am I living and believing in an illusion sprouted out of my fears?

My moon, and my ego.

I cannot write, neither feel like reading
Though I spent my time thinking, wondering
Seeing funny memes.

Though, on listening to Ankahe
Fears again, engulf me.

It is the end, or is it not?
Am I facing a dead end, with no return?
Has it all ended, before even I could complete the incomplete?

Has it all shattered? Is forever a myth?

Tears roll down. The song repeats in my head
I cannot feel warmth
But I feel the 'missing of warmth'.

Aloofness is my solitude
Less of words my happiness
The more I speak, the more I endanger
"Speak what is unimportant or not dangerous," I tell myself.

Now, when I feel a little better,
My fears repressed a little
I hope again. I hope against hope
Cacophony, bland music hurting my ears
But I am brave.

✴️✴️✴️✴️✴️✴️

The song Ankahe is from the movie Lootera.

No, I don't have corona, but I have cold. It is a result of not using muffler or a hoodie when the wind is blowing, and since I live near the Royal Calcutta Golf course so winter in my locality is synonymous with chilly, frozen bones. And then a construction work is going on so dust allergy wins. Yeah.

I am better now, but I really don't wish to work much 😅 and of course talk THE LEAST