Mirror

"Everyone keeps telling me that I need to move on. That one day I will find that one guy that will love me more than anything else in this world. How can I possibly believe that when all I see is one big mess when I look into the mirror.

The dark rings around my eyes can't even be covered up with make up at this point. The lack of restful sleep is going to kill me one day.

My hair is so thin and lifeless. The only thing I can really do with it it throw it up into a bun.

I watch my weight go up and down and my stomach is always in knots. One day I have to force myself to eat and another I'm eating everything that is in arms reach.

I hate the way I look and feel. It's not just because of this one guy. It's because of all the guys that I have never been good enough for. All the ones that have told me his amazing I was but the decided that I wasn't good enough for them.

This is a battle I'm fighting alone. If I talk to friends or family they just tell me the same things. I'll be fine. Life goes on. Love yourself. They don't realize how much those suggestions don't help. What I think reflects to how I see myself in the mirror. I love and hate the person I see. It's hard to explain." I sigh as I adjust myself on the leather couch.

"Alina, I've never had anyone open up to me so fast. I know this is our first session but I think we are going to cut it short." The young psychiatrist, Dr. Biaz, says as she closes her folder. "I do have an assignment for you though."

"Um, okay." I hesitate as I push a piece of hair out of my face.

"I want you to go to the grocery store and buy yourself the ingredients to make your favorite meal. Also, a bottle of wine, a few candles, and some bubble bath. When you get home I want you to change into something comfortable, cool your dinner, eat, and then relax in a a nice warm bath. Try to just relax. Spend the whole night on you. Put on something comfortable and do your nails while watching your favorite movie. After all of that get a good night's rest. Tomorrow I want you to wake up and look in the mirror and write down how you are feeling. We will discuss it when you come back next."

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