It must have been about mid-afternoon when I finally saw Dylan again.

I hadn't moved for a few hours and I was probably dehydrated from crying. The dried tears on my face made me feel dirty. I figured I might just lay there until I wasted away or something. Then Dylan appeared, panting and scrambling his way up the hill to this spot. His blue hair was brighter in the sunlight.

"Are you all right?" He demanded. "I just got back to the school and heard everything, and then I couldn't find you and I got worried."

I blinked for a second, then croaked something unintelligible out before I regained control of my voice box. "Yeah... I'm better now. I just don't know what to do."

Dylan sat down beside me, and glanced around at the giant pink rocks. "You didn't do this, did you?"

I shook my head. "I'm scared it might have been my sister. She kinda... yelled at me this morning."

His eyes widened. "Did she hurt you?"

I nodded again, looking down at my feet. "She uh... I mean there's a fairly large bruise on one of ribs."

"Atticus please tell me you aren't binding."

"No, I don't have a binder anyway." I admitted.

He looked relieved. "Thank God. No offense but you seem like just the kind of person who would bind anyway."

"None taken." Because he was absolutely right.

"Also screw your sister, you stay with me for the rest of the day and I'll personally punch anyone's skull in who tries to hurt you." He promised. "Have you had lunch? You seem pretty out of it."

"No... I am hungry." I admitted.

He plopped down his backpack and started pulling out his lunch and splitting it between us. "Here. Nourish yourself."

I took half of his sandwich gratefully and munched on it while he began to talk again.

"Okay so the reason I wasn't at school today. I have an idea. A proposition. I was going to wait a little bit to tell you this but I think now might be the time." He started.

I stared at his face, he had a tight hold on my attention for the time being.

"And I can't tell you right now. Think of it as a surprise. Wait until tonight, I'll find you and explain everything." He promised.

I frowned at him. "Okay..."

"Trust me." He promised. "In the meantime, all you have to do is make it through today and I promise you it'll all pay off."

"Okay." I nodded.

"You're down?" Dylan tilted his head, a smile spread ever so slightly over his face.

Just the sight of him made me feel a little better. "Well I don't really know what is it, but sure."

Then he let a full on grin explode on his face and gave a cheeky two thumbs up. "Stellar! I'll see you tonight."

It was about three o'clock now and I had officially skipped most of my classes. Both of us stood up and started down the mountain. Dylan was really jittery for the most part.

"Are you going to be okay if I let you go home alone? I would come but I've got to put a few more things together for said 'surprise'." He asked, glancing at me out of the corner of his amber eyes.

"I think if I lock myself in my room and make sure I'm not alone with Janet I'll be okay." I assured.

"Okay." He nodded to himself. "Stay safe for me will you?"

"Yeah."

"I'll see you tonight." He waved as we parted ways.

"See you." I watched him go.

I was scared of what would happen when I walked in the door of course. I turned on my phone real and saw I was still getting tons of messages from Mom and they were getting less and less angry. I was going to be in serious trouble. At least I had Dylan's surprise to hold onto.

The door to the house yawned before me as I pulled out my ring of keys and unlocked the door. It swung open and I took in the sight of my mom sitting at out dining room table, a box of tissues was sitting next to her and the phone, several discarded ones were scattered on the floor. She looked up, startled to see me, eyes red and puffy from crying. For that moment only, I felt guilty.

"Oh honey!" She cried out, standing up and throwing her arms up as she ran towards me.

I was pulled into a tight hug which lasted shorter than I expected before she pushed me backwards.

"Allison Sarah Gray!" She shot off, pronouncing each syllable with viciousness.

I flinched, I hate my name.

"Where have you been? I have been worried sick! I'd thought you'd been kidnapped! I called the police!" Her face got really red when she was angry, like Tinker Bell.

"I skipped school." Let's see how long I can't keep up the steady voice.

"Young woman." She said in a dangerous tone of voice. "That's not behavior I can permit in my household-"

"It wasn't safe for me to be there!" I argued. "Kids were telling me to kill myself, one girl accused me of being a pervert."

Her eyes widened. "Why would anyone do that?"

I balled my hands up into fists. "Because I'm transgender and Janet told everyone I was."

Her face hardened and I braced myself for the blow.

"Allie that's horrible. God, I should have sent you to counseling years ago. It's not your fault okay? We'll talk about skipping school later but I think that was too far, I'm calling the school."

She picked up her phone and started dialing. I stood there a little shocked because that wasn't what I was expecting. Had she changed her mind?

"What?" I blinked.

She shrugged while the phone dialed. "Well it's not your fault you're going through this... mental illness. But it's going to be okay sweetie. I scheduled you a session with a physiatrist on Saturday, you're going to get through this and see who you really are. It'll be over soon I promise."

There it was. My mouth gaped open in shock. It was hard to process what she had just said because of how close minded and dumb it was. My hands were shaking again as I got worked up.

"This... I have never been more certain about anything in my whole life." I choked out. "And being trans is not a mental illness, how dare you."

She held up a finger. "Hold on honey I'm on the phone, yes I would like to speak to-"

I took the phone out of her hate, hung up, and threw it across the room. She stared at me, her eyebrows flew up and her mouth a little 'o' that said okay now you're in trouble.

"I am a boy!" I yelled, letting lose of all of the frustration I had that day. "I waited three years to build enough courage to tell you that, and guess what, I regret every single minute of it!"

"No Allie this is good, we can correct this now-" She reached and I shattered her hands away.

"Shut up! Shut! Up!" I screamed, grabbing fistfuls of my hair as my entire body shook with rage I didn't know I hate in me.

"You shut up!" Janet slammed the door behind her, she must have just gotten home from school.

I visibly winced from the sight of her and my ribs ached in sympathy. She threw her backpack down and stomped toward me.

"What did I tell you!" She demanded.

I backed away from her. "I'm sick of putting up with you guys."

"Girls!" Mom gasped. "No fighting."

"I am not a girl!" I yelled with all of my might, hopefully loud enough to pierce eardrums.

"Shut the hell up!" Janet hissed with enough venom to kill a small herd of cattle. "Yes, you are and there's nothing you can do about it."

"I have to agree with you sister, though with less menace. Can everyone calm down, Allie's getting the help she needs, everything is going to be all right." Mom assured.

She pulled us both in for a hug but I shrugged out of it and Janet just looked incredibly pissed off.

"Allie, come here, we're going to hug it out." Mom ordered, thinking this was some sort of joke.

"No." I refused. "Screw you all."

I left for the stairs while Mom gasped and demanded I come back down. Janet left me one segment that would haunt me for ages.

"You're going to burn in hell, Allie." She didn't try to stop me, she just stared at me coldly as I left and mom stuttered out demands that bounced right off.

I slammed and locked the door to my room. Then scanned around it as I looked for something to take out all this pent-up agony and rage out on. There were wooden letters spelling out my birth name in my closet that I took down years ago. I got them out and opened up the window, chucking them so hard that they flew into the neighbor's yard. I heard a small crash and felt a twinge of satisfaction run through me. There was a dress Mom forced me to wear to some party three months ago that she thought I would like, but I never wore it again. I took that out laid it on the floor before tugging at the seams with all my might. I ripped it up until she was of it were laying all over my room.

I took down my band posters until I had a clear space on the wall then yanked out my acrylic paints. Mimicking the style of the rock graffiti I wrote ATTICUS in blue paint. Then I just stood there in the midst of my chaos and destruction and breathed in and out. It felt good. It felt so incredibly good. I was bathing in the ecstasy of the destruction of my femininity. I let it wash over me. I didn't regret a single thing.

"Honey?" There was a slight knock on my door, it was Mom.

"Don't talk to me unless you're ready to talk to your son." I replied calmly.

There was no answer. Fine, be that way. I was sick and tired of this family anyway. I sat down on my bed and sighed, wondering if I should try and get some homework done. Maybe in a bit. For now, I was just going to enjoy this. Then I could wait for whatever Dylan had planned. Whatever it was, it had to special. I had a strong feeling that maybe this boy could do the impossible. He was like magic. The way he talked to me in the middle of the night and the way he made music and wanted to be my friend. There was no one else exactly like him. Tonight, something big was going to happen. Tonight, would change everything.