Seonghwa is actually excited to go to sleep again after having that heart to heart talk with Yunho. He can't wait to be with San again. Why did he ever doubt his friends? They're not like the others. Seonghwa smiles to himself as he thinks about seeing San tonight.

Seonghwa hopes that San isn't too upset with him over everything that happened. He will have to actually explain everything to him tonight. Seonghwa had just been keeping him in the dark about his feelings.

San hopes that Seonghwa read his message that he's been writing on himself. He misses him terribly... San keeps his hopes high of seeing Seonghwa soon though. He's always been such an optimistic person.

San has been trying to plan their day together when he gets back to Korea. He knows they're going to go to Jeju Island, but he hasn't been there for a long time. He has to research what they can do there.

San smiles to himself as he researches, knowing that even if he didn't find much to do that they would still have a wonderful time just because they'll be together. San's heart feels warm. He really hopes that Seonghwa will come back to him...

Seonghwa takes a deep breath and sets a glass of water by his bedside when he gets into bed that night. He wants to be ready for whatever happens tonight. Seonghwa really hopes San isn't upset... He can't imagine San being upset, actually.

Seonghwa has always seen San as a joyful and soft boy. That might be a reason he's gravitated to him so much. He's been looking for someone that will bring him up instead of down, someone that will love him for him. Could San love him...?

Seonghwa closes his eyes to enter his dream wonderland, waking up soon after in the bed to see San laying there. Seonghwa closes his eyes in the dream and conjures up their gloves, putting his on. Seonghwa gently strokes San's arm, "Are you here, San?" He whispers to him in a soft voice.

San is awake and his body feels like it's on fire when he feels Seonghwa's pressure on his arm. His arms get covered in goosebumps, having missed his touch so badly - even though it's not skin to skin.

San turns over to see him, his eyes heavy-looking as he smiles lovingly at him, "Seonghwa... I've missed you so much, where have you been?" He sits up slowly, reaching up to hold his left cheek.

Seonghwa rests his head into San's hand, closing his eyes, as he has missed him dearly too.

"I... I had to think about a lot of things. I'm so sorry for leaving you that night, it was wrong of me," Seonghwa says apologetically, opening his eyes back up to show his sincerity to San when he looks into his eyes.

San smiles and shakes his head, "It's okay, my love." San lifts his gloved hand up to run it through Seonghwa's hair.

Seonghwa's eyes widen at San's words, unsure if even he knows what he just called him. His heartbeat quickens as he reaches to hold onto San's free hand, "It wasn't... but I will make it up to you somehow. I promise you."

San crawls closer to Seonghwa so he can lean against his chest, holding onto both of his hands, "If you're comfortable, you can tell me what happened. I could never be upset at you," San squeezes Seonghwa's hands reassuringly.

Seonghwa feels so full when he's with San like this. How is it even humanly possible to feel the way San makes him feel? It's unexplainable.

"I was afraid, San... I have never felt this way about a man before a-and I know how frowned upon our kind of relationship is in Korea..." Seonghwa sighs, feeling horrible about what he did, "I was so afraid of telling my friends about us that I tried to get away from you... That's why I touched your face that night and why we weren't waking up together all of the nights before."

San listens intently to Seonghwa, giving him his full attention as he takes all that he says in.

"I was just so afraid... I was so afraid of loving you that I tried to escape it. I was afraid of being shunned by my friends just like the friends I had before had done to me," Seonghwa continues, "I missed you s-so much, San..." Seonghwa begins to sniffle, forcing himself to look away from San.

San gently reaches up and wills Seonghwa's head back down to look at him, "It's okay to be afraid, Seonghwa... I wish you felt safe enough to talk about it to me before, but I understand how scary those kinds of new feelings can be."

Seonghwa's eyes are fully glassed over as he looks down at San, a few tears starting to stream down his cheeks, "I didn't know what to do, and then I made the worst possible decision I could've made at the time... But my friend Yunho pulled me aside the other day and asked me what was wrong. All of them had been concerned, I could tell, but when Yunho pulled me aside like that I just let it all out..."

Seonghwa takes a few moments to breathe. San wipes away Seonghwa's tears and smiles, knowing how supportive of a friend Yunho is. He had forgotten they shared him as a friend.

"I came out to him and he supported me and said how all of our other friends would too... It felt so good to be accepted," Seonghwa lets out an awkward chuckle, "Then I started telling him when I knew and about you."

Seonghwa rubs San's head carefully, "I didn't go into a lot of details about our situation, but he was so happy. After that conversation, I knew I had to come make things right again."

"The night before I talked to Yunho is when I saw what you had written on your arm... It tore me to pieces seeing that. I couldn't believe you still wanted to be with me," Seonghwa finishes," I still can't believe it."

San smiles big, "Now you have to believe it, Hwa," San sits up and wraps his arms around Seonghwa, being careful not to touch his face with his skin, "I could never rid myself of these feelings I have for you even if I tried to. Plus, we have plans for when I come home."

Seonghwa takes a breath, remembering San is coming back home soon, "We're meeting on Christmas, right?" Seonghwa rubs San's back.

San nods joyfully, "On Christmas. We can meet at the KTX in Seoul that morning so we can make it to Jeju and spend the day there together!"

Seonghwa is a little shocked still how understanding San was with him. He will forever be thankful for it. He still can't believe that he actually did what he did to him, thinking it was the right thing to do.

Seonghwa smiles, nodding, "That sounds perfect, San! I can't wait to finally see you now that all of this has finally been cleared up for me."

San sees the still guilty look Seonghwa has in his eyes, "Hwa... It really is okay, I want you to know that," he sits up on his knees to hold his face as he looks deeply into his eyes, hoping he will get through to him.

Seonghwa leans into San's hands, seeing the caring look he's giving him, "I just... feel really bad about it, you know?"

San nods, "I know... but I hope one day you will be able to forgive yourself."

San puts his gloved hand against Seonghwa's forehead and gives his hand a kiss, knowing he can't actually kiss his forehead. Soon, he thinks. He just has to wait until Christmas and then he will be able to give Hwa all of his love and affection.

Seonghwa can't help but blush when San does this, it means a lot to him, knowing they can't truly touch yet. Seonghwa looks at San for a while, thinking. He thinks about how wonderland he is and how lucky he is to have him in his life. God, he can't wait to tell him these feelings. Only a little while longer, though...

Seonghwa closes his eyes and conjures up the scenery to be a night sky, "Can we just lay here together tonight?" He asks, giving him a shy smile.

"That sounds perfect for right now," San agrees, laying back in the bed with him, his head on Seonghwa's shoulder and his hand on his chest.

Seonghwa loves when San does that, it makes him feel like San trusts him and feels safe being with him. Seonghwa feels confident in himself that he will become more and more comfortable. This is still all new to him after all.

Seonghwa gently rubs San's head, "Have I ever told how handsome you are?"

San laughs at Seonghwa's sudden confession, "Ohhhh, is that why you like me?" He teasingly asks, smirking up at him.

Seonghwa ruffles his hair, "That is one of the reasons, but you're just such a beautiful soul, San. You're so understanding, you always know how to cheer me up, you're always so happy. It's my favorite thing in the world to see you smiling... I can't wait to see it in person. I can't wait to just touch you."

San blushes, kissing all over his clothed chest, "I wish you knew how much you meant to me, Seonghwa. These past few months, I've just... I've- ah, I'll tell you on Christmas," he stops himself but shows a big smile to reassure Seonghwa it's nothing bad.

"I can wait," Seonghwa replies, hugging onto San tightly, "You're worth every second of every minute of my time, San."

San nuzzles into him, it calming him to heart Seonghwa's heartbeat so clearly. Knowing he's there, living and breathing just does something to him. He feels so lucky.

The rest of their dream, they lay and admire the night sky together. It won't be long until they can do everything in person. They can't wait to see each other, to touch each other. Their lives will become one that day. They'll finally get to be together and have their own happy ending.

Right...?

——————

Haha, nah y'all I'm just messing. It's going to be a happy ending, I'm not gonna make the plane crash or them die on the train together or something. This story has been way too soft for tragedy. No matter how much I love it—

I hope you've enjoyed the story, it means the world to me to see people actually commenting and voting for it.

The final update will be on Christmas. I've planned the story out to be like this! I'm very excited about it. Now I just have to write the final chapter.

I'm glad you've stuck along for the ride! I'll see you on Christmas Day, my loves <3