Fourteenth of February

I set my alarm early in the morning. I planned to take Deonne out on a breakfast today before our actual date tonight.

As soon as I woke up, I took my phone and dialed my boyfriend's number. "Hello?" I heard his sweet voice through the other line.

"Good morning, happy Valentine's day, love." I greeted.

"Good morning too," I smiled involuntarily. "You sound like you just woke up."

"I did." I laughed. "Want to go grab breakfast outside?" I questioned.

"Is that a date too?" He wondered and I smiled sheepishly even more. I hate his effect on me but I don't have any choice.

I love him.

"Nah, just normal couple things to do, right?" I chuckled. I sit on my bed and scratched the back of my head.

"Yeah sure, wait for me, I'll just pass a project." He informed me.

"On a Sunday?" My forehead creased.

"I ditched classes last Friday," He said in a whisper and I clicked my tongue. "What?" He exclaimed.

"You're a bad boy," I commented, clearly teasing him again. "Where are you?"

"Main building," He briefly answered.

"Okay, wait for me there." I ended the call and grabbed my bath necessities along with my towel to use at the boys' bathroom.

It took more than ten minutes for me to take a bath. I have this huge sensitivity when it comes to body cleanliness. I don't even know why.

Once I arrived back in our dorm, I saw Eunwoo and Jaehyun lying on their beds. "You're back early," I commented. Their love for parties is quite unexplainable and I can't understand it.

"You're up early," Jaehyun muttered, he is obviously wasted right now.

"Yeah, I'm taking Deonne for breakfast." I smiled widely.

"Aw, I wished I have a date for today too. I envy you, lover boy." I laughed at Eunwoo's sluggish comment and opened my cabinet.

I put on my black trench coat and jeans while I keep my white shirt. "Speaking of the day of love, where do you plan to take your tiny boyfriend?" Jaehyun asked. It's impressive that he questions things like he is completely sober.

"Well, just like typical cliché dates on this day, I booked a romantic dinner in a luxurious restaurant." I proudly enunciated. I hope Deonne will love it.

Jaehyun just hummed after I answered his question then we both heard a phone ringing next to Eunwoo. "What?" He practically growled. "Jungkook? No, he's not here." He dropped the call and went back to his nap.

"Who is looking for me?" I asked.

"Vanessa." He briefly stated.

"Did she say why?" I started combing my hair.

"The usual. Longing for you," He snorted and I just chuckled.

"I'll be back at lunch, don't throw up here. I'm not cleaning your mess." With that, I grabbed my phone and wallet before heading outside our dorm.

Once I reached the main building, I waited outside the faculty room and within a matter of minutes, Deonne came out with a smile on his face. "You're early."

I approached him and gave him a peck on the lips before holding his hand. "Let's go."

We finished having breakfast and we're on our way to walk in the park. The place was filled with different kinds of people celebrating today's event.

Deonne and I sat on an empty bench. We both stared at the beautiful surroundings. I felt his head resting on my shoulder and I tilted my head towards his. Holding his hand tightly, I asked him a question.

"You'll come later, right?" He laughed before answering. I can't help but worry about everything that relates to him.

I always have this feeling in my heart that one day he will eventually leave me. That we are not meant for each other.

I'm trying so hard to ignore it but sometimes I fail.

"I will, I promised you that already." He paused for a while as if he was thinking about something. "Jungkook?"

"Yes?" I answered.

"You know I love you, right?" That came out of nowhere and it still surprised me. I know that we've been into this relationship for weeks already but my heart always leaps in joy whenever he says those three special words.

"Yes, and I love you too," I muttered. I can't explain how happy I am right now.

"Will you forgive me if I did something wrong?" He suddenly asked a strange question after lifting his head and staring at my eyes sincerely. I still don't know why he is asking me questions like this. It's not like he will do anything to hurt me.

I know it because I trust him so much.

"Of course, I'll do anything for you." I smiled genuinely at him.

"Promise?"

"I promise, babe."

=====

I rarely wear tuxedos, and I actually think that this is my first time wearing one if my memory serves me right. "What do you think?" I turned around and asked for my friends' opinions.

"It's cool." They both said in unison while they eye me from head to toe.

"I'm still much more handsome than you," Eunwoo joked. I do not know if that was a compliment, but I'll take it as one. After sleeping the entire day, the two complained the whole afternoon about their headaches.

"What time is it?" I anxiously asked.

"Quarter to seven." Jaehyun was the one who answered.

"Hell, I'm late. I should go." I grab my things but Jaehyun's voice stopped me.

"I thought your date is at eight?" I smiled at him before slipping my phone inside my pocket.

"Yeah, I just need to make sure everything is going to be alright." With that, I left them dumbfounded.

I rode a bus and once I reached the restaurant the waiter guided me to my reserved table. My hands are totally sweating. It's not like the first time that I went out with Deonne, but tonight the settings and ambiance are very different. It's more romantic and heck, we're even wearing formal clothes.

I wanted to arrive here with him but he insisted that we should go separately which makes even more anxious. Will he come or will he ditch me?

I feel more bothered when it's only five minutes until eight and he is still not here. The waiter already asked for the order so I went with my favorite dish and Deonne's.

Once the food arrived and my boyfriend is still not here I felt even more uneasy.

Wait a little bit more, he promised he'll come.

My subconscious reminded me. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I closed my fist when I saw that it is trembling. I'm not shaking in fear, maybe it's because I'm worried about him.

I spent more thirty minutes waiting and I had enough. I took my phone and I noticed that Eunwoo and Jaehyun have been calling me but I didn't answer any of them. I forgot that my phone was in silent mode.

Instead, I dialed Deonne's phone number and I was surprised to hear the voice who answered my call. "Jungkook!"

"Jaehyun? Why do you have Deonne's phone?" My forehead narrowed. I can feel my heart thumping louder in thoughts that something bad might happen.

"Come to the hospital, I'll send you the address." He abruptly ended up the call. Later on, I received his text message.

I rushed out of the restaurant despite the guards chasing after me.

I successfully hailed a cab and showed the address to the driver. In just a matter of time, I arrived at the emergency area and saw two of my friends sitting on the chairs in despair. "What happened? Where's Deonne?" I said as I breathe for air.

"She... He is inside." Eunwoo was unsure of what he said. Jaehyun placed his hand on Eunwoo's chest, stopping him from saying more details.

"He got into an accident, Eunwoo found him lying on the floor with blood coming out from his head near the rooftop of the dormitory building." Jaehyun was the one who explained.

"How i-s he?" My voice trembled and my eyes are starting to water.

"Fortunately, it was an open wound. If it was internal bleeding then he'll probably suffer even more. The surgery is almost done, sit for now." I took a deep breath before doing what he said. "Jungkook, how long do you know Deonne?" He suddenly asked.

I clasped my hands together, "Four months, why?" I asked back.

"Do you know anything about his parents?"

"I... don't. Why are you asking?" I tilted my head and face him.

"His identity is fake." He blurted out.

"What are you saying?" My temple started to wrinkle.

"He is not who you think he is, Jungkook." Eunwoo butts in. I was about to say something else when a doctor finally came out of the emergency room.

The three of us stood up, "What are your relationships with the patient?" The doctor asked.

"I'm his boyfriend and they're his friends. How is he?"

"He?" The doctor asked. "Oh, I think you're at a different room."

"No, we're not, just explain everything to him," Jaehyun demanded. The doctor held out his medical clipboard and sighed before he began talking.

"Okay, so Ms. Foster, fortunately, will be fine in a few days. Her wound is quite big and we already took care of it. On the other hand, her ankle injury got worst so she might need to use crutches for the meantime."

My eyes blinked rapidly, am I hearing it wrong? "Who are you talking about?" I asked the doctor.

"Your girlfriend, Deanna Foster. The person inside the room right now."

Why is she here? "I think we got the wrong room. Do you know any patient named Deonne Fray? He is sent here too, he got into an accident."

The doctor shook his head no and I'm starting to be confused. "The only emergency room opened here right now is this one behind me." The doctor said.

I turned to look at Jaehyun, "Is Deonne really here?" I asked.

"She is here, Jungkook."

"Stop with the wrong usage of pronouns. Where is Deonne?!" I exclaimed.

"There's no guy named Deonne here, Jungkook. It was all a lie. He is a woman and her real name is Deanna Foster. Do you perhaps know that name?" Eunwoo asked.

I shake my head, not to indicate that I don't know that name but to show disbelief.

That's absurd.

That's impossible.

No, it can't be.

"Stop playing around. Please tell me where he is." I firmly stated after a tear jerked from my eyes.

"We're telling the truth!" Eunwoo cried out. "She lied to you."

"No... no. That can't be true," I looked away from them but my eyes landed on the medical clipboard that the doctor was holding.

Without his consent, I snatched it from him and read the details.

It says Deanna Justine B. Foster, age is twenty-one and her sex is female.

I turned to the next paper and there I saw a picture of her. A picture of Deonne.

"No! This is not him!" I bellowed and out of frustration, I threw away the medical clipboard.

"Jungkook calm down..." Jaehyun held my shoulder and I looked at him with puffy eyes.

I felt a pang of pain inside my chest and I started breathing heavily. My chest is hurting so bad and it feels tight that I had to squeeze my hands to reach for air.

I suddenly went dizzy and it's like all my senses shut down.

The only thing inside my mind before I blacked out was the emotional pain that I felt.

=====

Four days later...

I gasped for air and I abruptly sit straight. I'm inside an unfamiliar room with medical equipment all around me.

The door suddenly opened and my father rushed towards me to give me a hug. "Oh, my poor son." He hugged my tighter. "I heard what happened."

"Why am I here?"

"You almost had a heart attack." My dad honestly informed.

I started to remember what happened back there. "Deonne... he, sh-e lied to me, sad." I stammered. "S-he lied to me."

"I know, son. Stay here, I'll call the nurse." He broke away from the hug and left me all alone inside the room.

Thinking of Deonne or Deanna makes my heart beat in fear. No, this can't be happening.

The door opened once more and someone else was trailing behind him.

A nurse.

A woman.

"No! Don't come near me!" I exclaimed. It's been so long since I started trembling in fear again.

"Jungkook!" My dad approached me.

"Tell he-r to go awa-y, dad." I stuttered.

Why am I like this again?

I lied down and curled my body while I wait for my dad's signal if the nurse finally left.

It's back, my phobia is back.

"What's happening to you, son?" He sat next to me after I heard the doorknob clicked. I slowly looked at him and roamed my eyes around and breathe a sigh of relief to see no one else inside the room except for him.

"It's back, dad." I cried. "My phobia of women is back,"

"I can see," His lips formed a straight line.

"Dad, I don't want to be like this anymore." I pleaded. Experiencing a normal life was something I really wanted, but now that I'm back, in reality, all I want is to break free from this illness again.

But how?

Deonne, Deanna, or whatever, she was the one who helped me and now she is the reason why I'm back here in this situation. "Take me to a psychiatric hospital."

"Jungkook you know you don't want that."

"I have to hide away, Dean-na will search for me." I stammered again.

"Are you sure you want to admit yourself to that kind of hospital?"

"I don't know, dad. But that is what I need right now, a place where I'm safe and void of any wom-en." He suddenly sighed and handed out a small sketchbook in front of me. "What is that?" I asked.

"Open it, you might change your mind. I'll give you time to think, I'll be outside." After giving it to me, he left the room and I anxiously opened it.

My breath hitched for a moment when I saw Deonne's signature underneath the sketches.

Page one, the day we first met, in front of the door of our house in Vancouver.

Page five, we were watching a cartoon on our television.

Page seventeen, the night of Taehyung's birthday where we went to the arcades to have fun.

Page nineteen, the first day of this semester where I surprised him that I was going to study at the same university.

Page twenty-three, our first date at that flying theatre near the Elliot Bay.

Page twenty-seven, my audition for the Entertainment Arts Club.

The last page was supposed to be our Valentine's Date. I can fully understand the drawing. She planned to tell the truth to me that night but it never happened.

Nevertheless, she lied to me, she made me look like a fool but regardless of whatever she did I still feel bad that I'm now afraid of women or maybe more afraid of her.

Crying out, I tore the last page and grab another piece of blank paper from the sketchbook. It's hard for me to do this but if she sees fearing her, it'll break her even more.

Searching for a pen, I wrote her a letter of farewell.