WARNING: This chapter contains a few mature scenes, specifically VIOLENCE, HARASSMENT, and RAPE.

Read at your own risks.

Jungkook's POV

The alarm wakes me up today instead of the rays of sunlight coming from the window like it usually does.

The alarm just means one thing, well maybe, for now, it's two things. First, it's the twelfth of September and that means Mr. Sanders is going to visit me today.

I mentally groaned at the thought.

My dad and I just stayed in the hospital for a week to do some therapy stuff that isn't working on me, I just can't see the point of doing it anymore, there's no hope but I hate it when my dad desperately pleads for me to continue my therapies.

And today, Mr. Sanders is coming back, just great.

But on the second thought, it's Namjoon's birthday today, something that makes my day a little brighter or maybe a lot brighter. I grabbed my laptop and logged into my Skype account and tried calling Namjoon.

I wasn't expecting an answer from him since it's only seven in the morning and he might still be asleep, but he is indeed an early bird.

"Hey, Joonie, happy birthday!" I greeted with enthusiasm.

"Thanks, Jungkook, you're the second one." He said on the screen as he wipes the sleepiness away from his eyes.

"Really? I thought I was too early, but then someone's earlier."

"Yeah, Jin's messed up. He called me three in the morning saying that he just had a nightmare, and then suddenly remembered that it's my birthday already." Namjoon rolls his eyes and I laughed at his story.

"So where's the party?" I asked, smiling, and then he looked at the camera as he looks at me, that look of hope in his face pinched me.

I know he's expecting me to come, but I know that I can't, and I will never be able to do that.

"Maybe at the frat house? You're jealous aren't you?" He teases, though I can see a hint of sadness in his eyes.

Same bro, same.

Ever since this weird phobia got into me, I never hang out with my friends, like what we usually do when we were kids, like what normal adults like us do.

Sometimes I dreamed about living in a world where there's no women. What would it be like? Going out there, being free from anxiety attacks, what would it feel like?

"Massively jealous." I sighed. "Anyways, I'll send my gift for you later."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. Happy birthday, Namjoon, I gotta go now."

"Thanks, brother, bye." He showed me a dimpled smile, with that I ended the call and closed my laptop.

=====

"How do you feel Jungkook?" Mr. Sanders asked, like for the nth time in my entire life. He's in my room right now holding a clipboard and a pen on his hands.

"I'm fine," I answered nonchalantly.

"You're sure?" He arched an eyebrow at me.

"One hundred percent." I sighed. I need to keep my cool down even if I really hate my monthly exposure therapy.

He placed the clipboard and pen on the table near him for a while and grabbed his enormous bag instead and bringing it onto his side before grabbing his paraphernalia again.

Hell, not that.

"What would you feel, if I hand you this?" He reached for my hand and gave me a small black thing with a single lining of gold in the middle.

"What's this?"

"Open it." He instructed, and I did what I was asked to do. When I did, I immediately felt my hand tingle.

Lipstick.

Something that women use, the color is really bright for red, but it's enough for me to imagine very unnecessary things.

Lips painted in red, the thought of it going anywhere near me makes me sweat.

I immediately tossed it over Mr. Sanders and leaned back on my chair, catching my breath. "How do you feel right now?"

"Still fine." I lied, he knows that I did when I saw him sigh in disappointment.

He dug into his bag of mysterious things, and then he pulled out another item.

A doll to be specific.

That long hair painted face and clothes in pink, it definitely screams women.

"I said strip!" His aunt named Hyelin was yelling at him again. Ever since Jungkook's mother passed him onto her sister for some unknown reason he started living with his Aunt Hyelin.

His aunt is really feminine, even at home she would color her face with makeup, do her hair in a bun and wear really bright colored clothes. Sometimes she would even wear expensive pieces of jewelry even if there's no occasion.

"Are we going to take a bat-h?" He nervously asked. His aunt must've seen the fear in his eyes so she adjusted the look on her face.

"Yes sweetie, now do it." She forced a smile at him and he hesitantly took off his clothes. "Now go inside the bathroom and wait for me there." He slowly obliged.

He walked his way to the bathroom and when he reached it, he dipped inside the bathtub, patiently waiting for his aunt who will give him a bath.

Later on, someone knocked on the door and there his aunt came.

Naked.

At the age of eleven, he already knows some stuff, but not that much. He just learned them from school, learning about the reproductive system is not that hard for him.

His aunt abruptly joined him inside the bathtub, he's panicking inside but he doesn't show it, it would only anger his Aunt Hyelin.

At first, everything went normal, his aunt just wanted to bathe with him. Not until she asked him to scoot closer to her.

"W-hy?" He stammered. Instead of answering him, his aunt pulled him by the wrist and moved him closer to her.

"Now this time, I want you to follow my instructions, alright Jungkook? Or else I'll get mad." His aunt said. "Do you understand?" He can see her gritting her teeth, making him afraid of her.

He nodded, unsure of what might happen next. "Now, touch my breasts, play it like it's... clay. Yeah, think of it as clay."

Jungkook looked at her with worry in his eyes. "Now Jungkook!" When his aunt bellowed he immediately placed his hands on her plump breasts with his eyes closed.

"Move!" Aunt Hyelin instructed, he did what he was told to. He bit his lower lip to avoid crying in front of his aunt.

"Oh... Yes, that's it... Uhm..." His aunt made strange noises with her mouth.

"Aunt Hyelin, I wan-t to go now." He pleads, he's really on the verge of crying.

Instead of answering him again, she grabbed one of his hands and dipped it under the cold water in the bathtub, later on, Jungkook can feel something on his right hand that is in the water. "Move it, up and down."

"But-"

"Just do what I said!" Jungkook couldn't hold it in anymore, a lone tear escaped from his eyes as he followed what his evil aunt was asking him to do.

"Oh yes... More, Joohan!" He didn't know why her aunt was calling for his dad's name, but he's sure of one thing, this is wrong, he feels dirty...

"No!" I suddenly found my hands over my head, aggressively pulling my hair in frustration.

"Hey, hey, Jungkook, calm down." Mr. Sanders came to my aid and started asking me to breathe properly. "Inhale, exhale." He instructs, but I can't seem to focus on what he's saying, I can feel my eyes shaking and sweat is falling from my forehead.

"What's happening?" The door opened and there came my dad who's in a panic.

"No! No!" I keep shouting the same words, dark thoughts are evading my mind and it's clearly not healthy for me. Why are women like that?

My grandmother.

My mom.

My aunt.

They all treated me like a toy or more like an animal. "No, please..." A tear fell from my eye before I felt a sting on my arm and then everything started to turn around and eventually turned into black.

"Hey, how are you feeling kid?" It's my dad.

"Fine." I stood up from my bed and noticed Mr. Sanders on his side.

He's still here.

"What happened? Another anxiety attack?" I scoffed.

"Jungkook, I really want to help you, but if you keep lying about everything I ask you it's going to be harder." Mr. Sanders butts in. "The therapies are supposed to help you. But if you keep on denying that you're not fine, you'll continue to be that way."

"There's no hope. I'm never going to be fine, that's it, that's how I feel." I looked at him as if I'm shooting daggers at him. "Can't y'all just accept it?" I asked. "Dad?" I turned to my dad whose head is hanging low.

"Please."

=====

After my checkup today, they still insisted that I should take my therapies. In one condition that I'll start continuing them once school starts again.

I mean I'm not in school, but I'm also taking a break from the E-College where I'm enrolled to.

I do stuff on my computer, learn lessons on my computer and more.

The door of my bedroom suddenly opened, "Hey, Namjoon's calling on the phone." My dad informs.

"Okay, I'll go get it."

"Okay, you go down after that, dinner's ready." I gave my dad a small smile before he left.

I went to where the telephone was placed and answered the call. "Hey Namjoon, you called?"

"I'm inviting you to come and clash at the party."

"Are you drunk?" I chuckled. "You know I can't, I'm afraid of -"

"Women? There's no women tonight Jungkook." He informs.

"Are you sure, if you are, how sure?"

"One hundred and one percent. I've got guards on the entrance and I told them not to let any women in. It's just men's night." Given that thought, adrenaline immediately rushed through me.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Home," Namjoon answered. "The frat house doesn't feel right, so I'm doing it here."

"Oh, so you mean, it's just the seven of us?"

"No silly, we're more than that." I nodded at the information. "So are you in?" He asks.

"Yeah sure, I'll go get dad," I answered without having any second thoughts.

I could meet new friends tonight, I'm gonna party like a real teenager because there's no women tonight.

pray for the world ♡