"No! No! Stop, Mo-m!"

"Hey Jungkook, wake up." I arise from my sleep the moment I heard him screaming from his room. Days passed by since his mother came to visit and he is still like this.

Mr. Jeon did not come home that day, Hannah on the other hand just left when she noticed that Jungkook was finally gaining consciousness again that day.

Mr. Jeon called Mr. Sanders, he is Jungkook's therapist. He is the man I always see wearing a white coat from my bedroom window. He gave Jungkook more medicines and he has been taking them daily.

But since his mother's visit, Jungkook was never the same. I would always have a hard time convincing him to eat. Whenever he did, he would only eat small portions of his meal. He sleeps more right now, and when he is awake he is either silent or screaming, there's no in-between. I would sleep next to him on a makeshift single bed at some nights because he keeps having nightmares.

The good news is that he somehow listens to me whenever I tell him to calm down. I don't know why but I'm glad that he can still get ahold of himself.

His friends still don't know anything about what is happening. Not that they are curious, they simply don't have any idea about Jungkook's current situation.

Jungkook opens his eyes with tears, his chest is continuously going up and down, pleading for air. "Hey, it's fine. You're alright. Just breathe... slowly." I tried so hard to smile at him, to encourage him.

He nods at me while he closes his eyes again and tried to breathe as calmly as possible. When I noticed that he is feeling fine again, I decided to go back to sleeping but then Jungkook held my hand tightly.

I looked at him, his eyes are still closed. "Do you need something?" I ask.

"Stay, please." He says. "Please." His grip was strong but it doesn't hurt me, what stings my heart is seeing how he is mentally and emotionally tired.

"I'm just gonna get my pillows," I told him as I try to remove his hand from mine but he won't move it away. Instead, he opens his eyes.

"Just sleep here." He moves from his position and showed me space in his space.

He wants me to sleep on his bed? With him?

"Please." He pleads and taps the space next to him. Considering that he thinks I'm a guy, I sighed and just agreed to him. I carefully lay down on his bed and inserted my feet inside the sheets.

"You can sleep now," I tell him. I continue to stare up at the ceiling. I can see at the corner of my eye that he faces the direction towards me.

I have no intention to lay down and face him in a very close distance, that will be torture. I also have no guts to look at the space on my right side, I don't want Jungkook to think that I'm forced to be here.

"Can I ask you questions?" He speaks. I know he is not that intrusive but his questions usually require detailed answers that sometimes I'm afraid of him asking me questions about me.

"Shoot."

"Why are you still here?" He started and it felt like something tugged into my heart.

"Aside from getting paid by your dad," I laughed a little. "I also don't want to leave a friend alone."

"I don't want to be a burden to anyone." He replies.

"You're not." I quickly faced him and smiled before looking back at the ceiling again.

"Are you afraid of something?" I looked at him as I laugh at his question.

"Of course, we all have our own fears," I said. "Mine happens to be something unexpected."

"Then what is it?"

"Reality." I'm afraid to face reality, where I'm a woman and that the man I liked my entire life hates my kind. The more he'll hate me if he knew the wicked things I did.

I forgot that I need to limit myself from staring at him until I noticed how beautiful his eyes were then I brought my gaze back to the ceiling.

"Thank you for being honest." I almost choked on what he said. I don't deserve his gratitude and I will never be deserving of anything that comes from him.

With that, silence filled his bedroom while unwanted thoughts filled my entire mind. But the sound of Jungkook's slow breathing is enough to help me drift back to sleep in peace.

=====

It's already afternoon and I just finished forcing Jungkook to eat his lunch. As usual, he did not even eat half of it. After that, he went back to sleep again.

Since I have nothing else to do and I don't have the energy to entertain myself with the current situation, I just cleaned the entire house.

Mom will be jealous if she knew what I did.

I smiled at the thought.  I never did a general cleaning in our own house.

After cleaning, I washed up and went to my room. I fixed my things neatly inside my bag and wore something nice.

I looked in the mirror and noticed that my hair is slowly growing back. At least it did, I was worried it'll stay like this forever. There's no reason for me to cut it off anymore.

I sat on the bed with my things ready next to me as I wait.

Within thirty minutes, someone rang the doorbell from the front door. I grabbed my bag and placed it on the floor next to the mat before opening the door.

"Hey Mr. Jeon, how was your flight?" I forced a smile.

"Tiring." He laughs and enters the house. "Where's Jungkook?"

"He is sleeping in his room," I tell him. He started unpacking his bags and I know that it's my cue to speak up. "Mr. Jeon, I don't know what is happening to Jungkook, but it's getting worse and I think it is you who he needs the most." I successfully got his attention.

"I think my work here is done." I smiled bitterly. "Besides, my dad is planning a trip to Malibu so I really need to go back." I already made up that story while I was waiting in the guest room.

"Oh, okay. Just wait a minute." He climbed upstairs to his room and went down with an envelope in his hand. "Here, thanks for taking care of my son while I was away."

"Oh, it's okay Mr. Jeon. I cared for Jungkook because I'm his... friend. There's no need to pay me."

"I insist." He hands the envelope in front of me again.

"It's really okay sir." I declined.

He then grabbed my right hand and placed the envelope there. "Don't think of it as a payment. Just a reward for your kindness. Thank you. Ah! One more thing." He went back to his bag on the couch and handed me something from it.

It's just something I bought from San Francisco. "One for you." He gives me a huge pack of chocolates. "And two for your parents." He then hands me another two with a smile.

"You didn't have to," I said.

"It's the least I can do to pay... I mean reward your kindness." He winked at me.

I'm not kind Mr. Jeon. I'm a manipulative version of the wimpy kid.

"Thank you too." I smiled timidly. "Well, I'll have to go now." I grabbed my bag from the floor.

"Okay, do you need help?" He asks.

"I can manage."

"Take care, Deonne." He waves his hand as I nod my head before walking out of the Jeon's house for good.

I hailed a cab as soon as I got out. I know that my house is only next doors but I want to trigger how lost I am. I told the driver to just go ahead and I'll tell him when to stop.

My eyes started to become cloudy, and in a matter of seconds, a tear escaped from it and it continued for a while.

Did I leave out of kindness for Jungkook? If I did can a reward be a request?

I know how precious for me the moments I've spent in the Jeon's house. But now, all I want is to erase them for a while.

Every memory was precious to the point that it can hurt me now.