I sniffled, looking at the pretty bouquet of flowers that Gerard held out for me.

"I'm sorry, Baby," he said. "I got a little drunk, I didn't mean to stay out for so long on Saturday."

I took the flowers gingerly and he smiled.

"It doesn't mean I forgive you, they're just pretty," I said.

I put the flowers in a vase and sighed.

"I got tickets to see a movie tonight and then I was thinking that maybe after we could go and grab some ice cream," he said. "A make up date for the one I missed."

"Fine but I'm getting two scoops and popcorn," I said.

Gerard smiled and nodded. I went to the bedroom, putting on a light blue dress and a pair of white converse. I held his hand as we drove and Gerard bought me a big bucket of popcorn with a coke before we sat down in our seats.

"You look so cute," he said.

I blushed, holding his hand. He kissed my cheek and put the armrest up between us and I sat closer to him, letting him wrap an arm around my shoulders. We both laughed for the majority of the movie and it really was making me feel a little bit better for us and our relationship.

The ice cream shop was just across the street and I went in, looking at the array of colorful tubs of frozen ice cream.

"Can I please have mint chocolate chip?" I asked.

"I'll take one too but in a cup," Gerard said.

We went to the register and the lady handed me my cone.

"Here you go, mister," she said.

My stomach dropped and I looked down sadly.

"It's miss," Gerard corrected.

I smiled softly as he paid but the lady didn't say anything.

"Thank you," I mumbled as we sat on the bench outside of the shop.

"Yeah, of course," he said. "I know you're probably scared to correct people but you shouldn't let people misgender you."

"It's too scary to correct them," I mumbled.

"I know, it'll get easier," he said, holding my hand.

I looked down, licking my ice cream sadly.

"Have you talked with Lindsey recently?" He asked.

"Yeah, she's been helping me a lot," I said.

"That's good for you to have someone to help you who is actually transgender," he said.

I nodded and he smiled, kissing my cheek. I ate rather quickly, I think my sweet tooth has been growing a lot. Or maybe I was excited about the prospect of being able to go home and cuddle with Gerard. Either way we finished up rather quickly and headed back to our apartment.

Gerard wrapped his arms around me waist when we walked in and he kissed me roughly, picking me up and setting my on the counter. I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back.

"Nuh uh, you're not that forgiven yet," I said.

Gerard had a small pout but I shook my head.

"This doesn't completely forgive you for standing up your own girlfriend," I said.

Gerard sighed and nodded, kissing my cheek.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I replied. "Don't you have to finish up your piece you were working on?"

"I can work on it later," he said.

"I think you should do it now so we can cuddle tonight rather than you working then," I said.

"Alright, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to cuddle," he said.

Gerard gave me a soft kiss before going to sit at his desk to work. I kept myself busy by doing laundry and organizing some of my makeup. I was always worried about being too much of a slob and definitely didn't want Gerard cleaning up any of my messes, I would feel far too guilty.

I looked at my pills and put them back into the medicine cabinet, memories of being a child at the doctors flooding back to me.

"I-I don't want a shot," I cried.

"You're ten years old, Frank, man up," my dad said.

I tried catching my breath, wiping the tears off my face.

"You think I should film you? Show your friends how much of a baby you are?" He asked, holding up his phone.

I cried even harder, covering my face as I shook my head.

"Man up," he said.

The nurse came in and gave me my shot before we were able to leave and when we got home my dad took off his belt, trying to toughen me up.

"Baby?" Gerard asked when I walked over to where the desk was, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Oh, Babygirl, what's wrong?"

"I-I miss my mom," I whispered. "I hate my dad. I hate...being me."

"Frankie, sweetheart, come here," he said.

I went over, sitting on his lap. He smiled softly and ran his fingers through my hair.

"It's okay, Babygirl, everything's gonna be okay," he said. "I'm sorry that everything has been so shit lately but I promise that it's gonna be better. Do you wanna go visit your mom's grave?"

"Yeah," I mumbled and he stood up but I frowned. "I-I kinda wanna go alone, if that's okay."

"Yeah, of course it is," Gerard said, handing me his car keys as well as ten dollars. "You can buy some flowers too if you'd like."

"Thank you," I said, giving him a soft kiss before I put on my shoes and left.

Outside of the cemetery I bought flowers from the stand before walking in to my mom's grave. I sat down, setting the daisies up against the tombstone.

"Hi, mom," I said quietly. "Sorry that it's been kind of a while, things have been crazy. But I am living with Gerard now and it's nice. He's nice. Although I don't know what it is, lately I think he's just been a little bit different..."

I trailed off, sniffling quietly.

"I think I'm starting to get boobs, it's hard to tell," I said. "I hope I am, I wanna get boobs, I wanna be like a girl. I've been taking hormones, they've made me really moody but Lindsey said that would even out. Oh, Lindsey is one of my new friends, she's trans too and she's been helping me. I've been making a lot of new friends, it's really nice. They're all so interesting, not like any of the other kids I've met in high school.

"And I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life. I wanna be a stay at home mom, remember when I was little and I would always say that I wanted to be a mommy when I got big? I still really do wanna be a mommy. But I don't know...I kinda wanna do something that earns money to help Gerard, I don't know how much money his job earns and I wanna help pay bills and stuff.

"I was thinking maybe for now I could go into something small, could work as a waiter—waitress. Sometimes...sometimes I'm still messing that up. I'm not used to referring to myself as female, I like it but I'm not used to. But I was thinking something like that, or working at like a grocery store until i can find out what I'm going to do. Maybe I can get into something with music. Maybe I can work at a recording studio or something.

"I miss you a lot but I know you're always here looking out for me. I hope that you're happy, wherever you are. Hopefully in heaven. And if Heaven isn't real then the equivalent to that, whatever it may be called. I just hope that you're somewhere happy and comfortable now."

I sniffled, playing with the blades of soft green grass in front of me.

"I miss you," I whispered. "I wish you were still here, I would love to be able to go shopping with you. I know it seems weird but in movies and shows girls are always bonding with their moms while shopping and I wish that we would be able to do that. Sometimes I really don't know what I'm doing when it comes to fashion so I have to have Gerard help me."

I wiped my eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"I think I'm gonna go pick up some ice cream," I said. "And then I wanna cuddle with Gerard. I think I'm ready to forgive him, it's shit that he stood me up but I can't hold onto it forever. Bye, mom, I'll talk to you later."

I stood up and left the cemetery, bumping into a man just outside of the gates.

"I'm sorry," I said.

The man looked down at me, a sneer on his face.

"Disgusting," he muttered.

I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't see you," I said.

"Don't touch me you fucking fag," he spat.

The next thing I knew I was being knocked to the ground with a solid punch. I landed on my arm, hearing a sickening crack that made me scream. His hands wrapped around my throat, squeezing tight. I gasped, pulling at his arm with my good hand.

"Please," I choked.

But he didn't let go, just gripped tighter and tighter until no air was coming in and my vision blurred. I kicked my legs weakly before finally passing out.

"Sir?" Someone asked.

I woke up slowly, looking around. I realized I couldn't move my head but it seemed like I was in an ambulance.

"Sir, can you tell me your name?" The person asked.

Where's Gerard? I want Gerard.

"G-Gerard," I croaked.

My throat burned and I quickly shut my mouth.

"It looks like you were pretty badly injured, don't move," he said. "What's your last name?"

My throat hurt too much and I whimpered, crying quietly. I just want Gerard.

The ambulance stopped and my stretcher was pulled from the ambulance and I was quickly rushed into the hospital all alone.