Gerard was at a job interview today, which left me alone in his apartment. I watched tv and sat on his laptop. I ate some chips, looking at the screen. I bit my lip as I scrolled through a blog. It talked all about this girl and her story while transitioning.

The door to the apartment opened and I looked over at some random guy standing there. I pushed the laptop aside and stood up, looking at him nervously. It took me a moment to realize that it was only Gerard's brother.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I-I'm Gerard's girlfriend," I said. "I'm Frankie."

"Oh, hey, I'm his brother, Mikey," he said and the door opened behind him. "And this is my girlfriend, Kristin and my daughter, Rowan."

I smiled, giving them a small wave.

"Where's Gerard?" He asked.

"He's at a job interview," I said.

"He was meant to babysit Rowan today," he said.

"I-I can watch her, Gerard should be home soon," I said.

Kristin looked at Mikey a little nervously.

"It's okay if you don't want to leave her with me," I said. "I'm just a stranger."

"We'll just wait here then," Mikey said. "Interviews don't last too long."

"Do you wanna go down and grab the stuff?" Kristin asked.

He nodded and kissed her cheek before he left. Kristin sighed and sat beside me.

"Hi, I'm Kristin," she said.

"Hey," I said shyly.

She set Rowan on the ground and she walked around.

"How long have you and Gerard been dating?" She asked.

"A couple of weeks now," I said.

"Oh, that's good, he can finally have someone to keep him on the straight and narrow," she said.

"Straight and narrow?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah, he got arrested a couple times," she said. "He didn't tell you? I mean, it was nothing major. One time was for peeing behind a building and another time was when he was just too loud and people got annoyed and called the police on him."

"Is he on the sex predator list?" I asked nervously.

"Oh, no, the cop just told him off but he thankfully wasn't put onto the sex offender list," she said.

"So it wasn't anything big," I sighed in relief.

"Yeah, maybe you can stop him from just doing all that silly stuff," she said.

Rowan walked around slowly, wobbling as she went and holding onto every for security.

"You live nearby?" She asked.

"Yeah, I live here," I said. "I moved in with Gerard the other week."

"Oh, that's so nice," she said. "You're pretty serious then, huh?"

"I don't know, maybe a little bit," I said.

Mikey came in with a diaper bag and a little foldable crib. He sat down, holding Kristin's hand. The door opened five minutes later and Gerard gasped.

"Oh my god, I'm babysitting today," he said. "I'm sorry, I totally spaced."

"It's okay, we weren't here for long," Mikey said. "Can I talk to you in the other room?"

Gerard nodded and I watched the brothers go into the bedroom to talk privately.

"Alright, beautiful, mama and dada's gonna go now," she said. "I love you, bye bye."

"Buh bye," Rowan said.

Mikey came out, giving Rowan a kiss before they left. Gerard walked out, looking a little upset as he picked up Rowan.

"Mama!" She cried, reaching to the door.

She eventually calmed down and started playing with an action figure she pulled off Gerard's shelf. He was still really quiet and I knew something was wrong.

"Hey, is everything alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course," he said.

"What did Mikey say to you?" I asked.

"It's nothing, Frankie, I promise," he said. "Are you hungry? I brought back some food."

He handed me a little paper cup of fries and I smiled. Rowan saw the food and waddled over, opening her mouth.

"Can she?" I asked.

Gerard nodded and I handed her a french fry. She dropped down to her butt and gnawed on it.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Frankie, come on, I already told you I'm fine," he said.

"But...you're always there for me and I should be there for you too," I said.

"It's just brother stuff," he said.

"Oh, I guess I wouldn't understand that then," I said.

He smiled, giving me a kiss.

"Thank you for worrying, though," he said. "You're so sweet."

Gerard wrapped his arm around my shoulders and looked at the tv.

"So, what are we watching?" He asked.

"I don't know, I got a little bit distracted by some blogs," I admitted.

Gerard looked at what I had been reading as I blushed.

"I think it's great that you're looking more into this on your own," Gerard said.

"Really?" I asked nervously.

"Of course," he said. "Frankie, you should embrace yourself more, be more accepting of yourself."

"I know it's just hard sometimes, I just wish I could be normal and happy," I said.

"You are normal," he said. "You're different but there's nothing wrong with being different."

"Yes there is, different is what gets you bullied, it's what people hate you for," I stated.

"Different is what makes people unique," Gerard said. "If we weren't different then we would all be the same. It sounds like some dystopian society. Imagine us all wearing the same clothes and working the same jobs and and living in the same types of homes and listening to the same music and eating the same food and--"

"I get it,' I interrupted with a small smile. "I-I'm trans and I'm proud."

"And you're a very beautiful girl," he said. "You've come a long way, I'm proud of you."

"You are?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course I am," he said, giving me a kiss.

Rowan wobbled back over, holding out her hand as she cried out. She had finished her fry, her face partially covered in drool. I handed her another and she hummed happily as she chewed.

"Is she staying the night?" I asked.

"She is," he said.

"I never really spent much time with kids," I admitted. "Please don't leave me alone with her."

Gerard chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't give you one on one time with the babies yet."

I smiled, scooting closer to him. Gerard flipped the channel and I smiled as I looked up at him. I could feel my heart skip a beat from just looking at him. He was beautiful and kind and I loved him.

Wait.

Love?

I can't love him.

Does he love me?

"Hey, Gerard?" I asked quietly.

He hummed and looked down at me.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing," I mumbled, looking down.

"What is it, Babydoll?" He asked, tilting my head up.

"Nothing," I said. "Really nothing. I just like to say your name and that's all."

"You're so cute," he said.

I smiled and gave him a kiss. Rowan waddled to his shelf and started pulling books off.

"That's probably her favorite game," he said.

I smiled as I watched her wander around.

"She's really cute," I said. "I do want kids of my own someday but the idea of raising them actually kind of scares me."

"They aren't too bad," he said. "I'm sure you'll be an amazing mom to your kids one day."

"Maybe a great mom to our kids?" I asked hopefully.

Gee smiled. "Yeah, hopefully to our kids."

I sighed a bit in relief and curled up with him. Maybe he does love me too. I've never really been one to be so open about my feelings. I was always told that because I was the guy then I shouldn't have too many emotions or be too caring. I was one time even called gay for caring too much about a girl, which doesn't really make any sense in my eyes.

"Hey, Gerard, you would tell me if something was really going on, right?" I asked.

"Of course I would," he said. "I won't hide anything from you."

"Thanks," I said.

"Don't worry," he said. "I promise I'm absolutely fine."

"Thank you," I said. "I just don't want you hurting at all, I want you to be okay and I want you to be happy."

"I'm okay," he said. "It's like I said earlier, just brother stuff, it's really no big deal."

I gave him a soft kiss and he smiled.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I said.

I went to the bathroom and started the shower up, stripping and getting in. I still tried avoiding the shower, I hated looking at myself. It was a little better now that I've started transitioning but the sight of myself was still repulsive.

The door opened and I peeked out, looking at Rowan. She looked around, her thumb in her mouth.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," she said, waving her arm.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Potty," she said.

"Do you wanna go to Uncle Gerard to help you potty?" I asked.

Rowan squatted down and crawled out of the room. I frowned in confusion as I went back to showering. She was pretty cute, though, I couldn't deny that.

I finished up and got dressed. I went it and saw Gerard playing with Rowan on the floor.

"She needed to use the bathroom while I was showering," I said. "Did they bring one of those little kid toilets?"

"She's not potty trained, Frankie," he said with a small chuckle. "She's too young for that, she still wears a diaper. She just wanted to play in the toilet, she loves splashing in it but obviously she isn't allowed to."

"Oh," I said as I blushed.

"Come here," he said, patting the spot beside him.

I smiled as I sat down next to him and we just spent the entire night playing with Rowan. It actually felt like we were a real family.