“Come in Chat, if you’re not Chat,” I grabbed the closest thing to me. “I’ve sharp sewing scissors in my hand and I don’t think you want to mess with me.” I brandished my silververy scissors in front of me as the trap door swung open revealing Chat.

“Hello Purrincess!” He slipped into my room. “Does someone else visit you from your balcony? Not that I’m trying to tell you who you should talk to, but if there's someone who has angered you to the point you’d stab them with scissors, you should probably stop.”

“I don’t think anyone else visits me.” I pondered.

“Here, how about when I visit, I knock like this?” he rapped on the wall 3 times, then 2 times, and finally 4 times.

“Okay, that’ll work!” I exclaimed. He hopped off the bed, landing in front of me.

“So are you ready to go?”

“Go where?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“To the police station, we agreed to go just the other day.”

“Oh yeah, that, well, what if we were to not go?” I shuffled my feet a bit.

“Why, what's wrong with going to them?”

“Nothing! I just don’t think I should go, all we have is that he has black hair, anyone who watched the video can figure that out. We have nothing we have to help their search.”

“Yeah, but you’re still the victim of the attack, you should go give a statement.”

“I’m sure they have worse problems to fix and criminals to find.”

“So?”

“So I wouldn’t want to waste their time.”

“You wouldn’t be, it’s their job. And besides, even if there are worse problems, your’s is still valid to you!”

“Chat, I said no, I’m not going to go, you could force me there but I won’t say anything.”

Chat sighed in defeat. “Alright, I understand, I won't make you.”

“Chat, I’m sorry-”

“Why are you sorry?” He asked, puzzled.

“Be-because I raised my voice and and got mad and I know we planned to go but I really don’t want to.”

“Yeah, so? There’s no reason to apologise, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You don’t want to go make a statement, I’ll respect that. I only was pushing you because you were worried about wasting their time and stuff and I don’t want you to think you’re a waste of anything.” He approached me. “I should be the one apologising for not noticing your discomfort earlier, I’m sorry.”

And furthermore,” He continued. “You have the right to be mad, you are allowed to feel things, you’re not a robot. You're allowed to be human.”

“It’s alright, thank you.” I gave a gentle smile, my body filled with warmth. My entire being was so happy in that moment that my self hating part of me momentarily forgot to.

“Well, I guess I should get going then.” Chat broke the silence.

“Uh, yeah, oh would you like to stay for some lunch?”

“Thank you, but I would hate to bother you anymore than I already have.”

“You’ve never bothered me, I insist.”

“Thank you then.” He followed me downstairs. This is going to be one of the most awkward meals I’ve had, minus last night’s.

“Well, we have some soup we just have to heat up, is that okay?”

“Whatever works for you.”

“Okay well, I’ll just heat this up and slice up some bread to go with it then.” I popped the container of soup in the microwave to heat up while I cut two slices of bread. I sat them each on separate plates and set them at the table. I grabee a butter knife and the butter and sat them between the two plates.

“Thank you.” Chat smiled picking up his slice and smearing butter and apricot jam on it. The microwave beeped and I took out the soup, before ladeling into boals, I gave it a small stir.

We ate lunch and I felt the awkwardness putting up a barrier between the two of us, what do I talk about? Just hours ago, Chat confessed to liking me to the other version of me.

“Soo, “ Chat was looking for something to say. “Are you back in school yet?”

“Umm, kinda.” 

“Really? How is it?”

“Well, I wish I could say more but after what happened yesterday, my parents are keeping me from going for the rest of the week.”

“Ah, and I thought my dad was overly protective.” he joked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was homeschooled for most of my life because he wanted to protect me, I finally get to go to school now though so I’m really happy about that. He still is a bit strict and overprotective, he’s also always busy and doesn't have much time for me, but I know that everything he does is because deep down inside he loves me.”

As he told me this, another boy I knew popped into my head. Another boy who is strikingly similar to Chat while still having their differences, I thought of Adrien and for the first time I realized that why I like hanging out with both of them was because of how similar they were. I think that I might actually like Chat, I just thought I liked Adrien because they were so similar, but I realize Adrien is just a good friend.

“I’m sorry about that, but I’m glad you get to go to school now!”

“Thanks.” he smiled into his soup. We sat for a moment, the barrier finally melting.

“Oh! Lunch is about over, I should probably get back to school about now.” Chat hurriedly stood up.

“Oh, well, I’ll see you out then.” I assorted him up stairs and opened my window for him.

“Thank you, I’ll see you tomorrow purrinsses!” he hopped out the window and disappeared, snow still falling around him.

 I closed the window to keep from more snow getting in. I walked to my chair in a daze and sat down.

“Tikki?”

“Yes Marinette?” Tikki flew out of her hiding spot.

“I think I like Chat.”

“Really?”

“Mhm, I heard what he said earlier, but that was to Ladybug, not Marinette, while we’re the same person, I want to hear him say it fully aware of who he’s talking to.” I sighed. “He also said he’s unsure if he has a crush, I’ll wait for him.”

“I’m happy for you Marinette, I think he really likes you!” Tikki smiled, enthusiastic. “But, will you tell him about being Ladybug.” I froze.

“Well, he’s Chat so he probably wouldn’t notice me missing as Ladybug.”

“But what if he tells you his identity?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” I giggle nervously, avoiding Tikki’s question.

“Okay Marinette, but remember, you need to be honest in a relationship.”

“I know Tikki, but we’re not in one yet. Besides, I’m allowed to have my secrets, same with him. If he does ask, I’ll tell him, but if he doesn't there's not really much of a reason for me to tell him anyway. Even if we do date, it wouldn’t even last a month.”

“I trust you’ll make good decisions Marinette. I also believe you’ll be able to make it past this month.”

“I really hope so Tikki.” I curled myself up on the chair, blinking back tears.

I sat there, doing nothing, just breathing, I don’t know when I moved but soon enough, I was turned around, completing my homework, brought from school via Alya.

I felt, dull I guess, it was weird, only moments ago, I felt exhilarated in Chat’s presence and now I don’t feel much of anything. I felt what I felt at the top of the tower, about to jump. I need antidepressants, but two things are holding me back. To get them, I’d have to tell my parents, my second reason is I don’t know if I’m depressed. I was happy earlier! I might just not be getting enough sleep or I’m dehydrated.

I don’t want to cause a scene, I don’t want to be Lila, I don’t want to end up finding out that I faked this emotion or that I’m not really depressed.

I brushed all my thoughts aside, even if everything works out, it will be over in a month when I die.

I pulled out my calendar and opened my computer. Huh, the Adrien and hearts background is still missing, probably for the best.

 I Googled when the next full moon would be. The 29th, I circled it on my calender and counted from today, the3rd of December.

“1,2,3,4,...7, okay that’s one week…” I muttered under my breath. “Okay, 3 weeks and fiveish sixish days until I die. That’s 26 days to say goodbye starting tomorrow. I can get through this I hope.