I was talking with Tikki about my list, my ear plugs still missing, when I heard my mom sobbing way downstairs in the bakery. I ran out of my room to see her, I don’t know what happened, but I just know that my mom was sad and I hate seeing the people I care about hurting.

“Mom! Are you okay?” I swung myself into the bakery.

“Marinette?” She turned to me. She was with Miss Nadia who was playing the same video that me and Chat just looked at moments ago. My mom wrapped her arms around me in a hug. “Are you okay, did he try to hurt you?”

“I’m, I’m fine mom.”

“Maybe you should stay home for a bit, for safety of course.”

“Mama!”

“Just until the end of this week, I’m sure your teachers will agree after you were harassed by a strange man on the school grounds.”

“I can’t! I just got back!”

“Safety first Marinette, I know you don’t like this, but I don’t want any harm to come to you. No matter how old you are, you're still my little girl and it hurts me to see my baby scared and sad as she’s being attacked by a strange man!” I inwardly wince thinking about how daily I’m attacked by a strange butterfly man after my earrings.

‘Strange butterfly man?’ I almost jumped out of my skin. I frantically looked around for the source of the voice.

‘T?’

“Marinette?” My mom asked, snapping me out of my head. “Is everything alright?”

“Uh, yes mama, sorry, I thought I heard something.”

“You're probably still in shock from earlier, go lay down, I’ll make some tea, when you go back to school, don’t go anywhere without Alya, okay?”

“O-okay.” I walked back up stairs.

“Tom, could you take over the counter for a moment honey?” I hear my mom ask dad as I recede to my room.

I flopped onto my bed annoyed at Paul, yes I’m using his name, I’m that mad. My anger receded when realization over the bite sat in.

‘T? I bit him, so why are you still here?’

‘Your not in wolf form Marinette. The bite won't work unless you’re in my form.’

A floor below, I heard my mom calling the school as she set the pot of water on the stove.

“Tikki?”

“Yes?” she came out from her hiding place.

“Do you want to go clear our heads?”

“You aren’t going to leave me this time, are you?” she asked skeptically.

“Nope, we’ll just wait for the tea and go out for a swing as it cools.”

“Alright then Marinette!” I laid patiently on my bed, I could smell the tea from up here. It was a sweet, bitter, I’d say a citrusy scent, I’m guessing lemongrass tea.

As light as my mother’s footsteps are, I heard her ascending the stairs, her steps the tiniest bit heavier and slower holding the tray of tea. I listened as she stopped outside and shifted the tray so she could knock on the trapdoor above her, letting me know she was there, before opening it herself.

“Marinette?”

“Yes mama?” I didn’t get up.

“I’m sorry about school, but your safety is my priority. I called the school and they understood everything perfectly, they’ll be asking Alya and Nino to bring over your homework.” She paused waiting for an answer. None came. “I’ll just set this here then.” she placed the tray with the cup and the teapot on the floor next to the door and left downstairs to continue working.

I did want to answer, but I was currently mad at everything, Paul for trying to kill me, mom for pulling me out of school for a few days because of it, my teachers for not believing me until recently. But most importantly, I was angry at myself, it was next to impossible for me to admit that, but I was hurt that I let myself get into all of these crazy situations and mad that I haven’t had the courage to tell anyone even with all the chances I’ve gotten.

I couldn’t walk away from being a werewolf, as much as I want to. I wanted to just leave everything behind and just slip into a numb state where I don’t have to worry about anything. I didn’t want to be a hero, but the safety of others is much more important than what I want, now I just want to become non-existent for at least five minutes.

I want five minutes of peace, not having to constantly be rushing out to battle, not having to think about T and the full moon and my approaching death. Five minutes is all I ask, it’s as simple as just silence and peace of mind, however, I’ve noticed that some of the simplest things are the hardest to achieve or communicate.

“Okay Tikki, ready to pattrol?” I ask, smiling through my painful thoughts. She nods and I transform. “Tikki, spots on!” I was encased in a pink glow, when it faded I was in my ladybug suit which looked just like it did on Kagami, I just didn’t notice until I saw it on another person.

I throw my yoyo out my window and fly over the park where Adrien was modeling, I didn’t even stop to blush at my crush. I made my way to the eiffel tower and landed elegantly on the very top of it.

“Tikki, spots off.” Tikki flew out of my earrings. Oh my goodness, I’m loseing my sanity. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t even know why I detransformed. I’m so close to the edge and even though my thoughts are freaking out, I felt so calm. And cold, calm and cold.

Let’s clear some things up first. I DON’T want to die, I’m going to die either way, whether it’s now, at the end of the month, or in a few decades, at some point, I’m going to take my last breath and there’s nothing I can do about that. There is a lot I want to do, but once I’m dead, I won’t have regrets, I won't have thoughts at all or feelings for that matter.

I stepped closer to the edge. I’ve got a choice to make, I could step off this ledge and end everything here and now, or, I can wait a month and have a chance to make the most of life, if only for a month, and have a chance to say goodbye. I take a step closer, one more and I’d be falling.

“Marinette?!” Tikki cried “What are you doing?!” I ignored her. Below me, there was a crowd of people mulling around, minding their own business, oblivious to a girl standing above them, about to jump.

“I can’t!” I shrinked back into the metal, backing away from the edge. I pulled my knees to my chest, quivering. Holy cheese stick I nearly died! I gripped my clothing, mildly freaking out. Correction, I’m currently dying from these heart palpitations, I was so dizzy and felt like I had no breath left but that could just be because I’m so high up. Is my heart supposed to be beating that fast and hard?! I think I’m dieing! I didn’t jump so that didn’t kill me, but I think this is going to! I did my best to relax where I was but it felt impossible.

“Tikki, spots on!” I think I need some of mom’s tea before I try another stupid thing.

I landed on my balcony, transformed and slipped inside. The tea was still warm when I poured it into the cup. My heart was still frantic as I sipped the warm drink. As I drank the tea, I could feel my heartbeat slow down to normal. It’s amazing how just doing something as mundane as drinking tea can be so calming and do so much in comfort. I choked back tears sipping my drink, not tears of sadness, but tears of comfort. I wanted to cry as I felt the warm liquid soothe my throat and mind. I’t certainly wasn’t my five minutes of peace, but it was close enough and I’ll take what I can get. I still hope for a full five minutes of peace and numbness and I’m most likely to finally get it at the end of this month. I just have to keep it together for a month, that’s it.

“Marinette?” I heard Alya call up, I didn’t even hear her enter the building, I was in such deep thought.

“Alya?” I opened the trap door to Alyas grinning face.

“Girl! Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“What do you mean?” I giggled, my eyebrow raised before my voice started trailing off. “U-um, one sec.” My voice laced with fear as I started searching through my room, dumping out my book bag, scouring the entirety of the room. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I was attacked.

“What’s wrong girl?”

“I lost my phone!”

“With all the time you spend stealing them I figured you would have had a sharper eye on yours.” Alya jokes.

“Alya! I’m not joking! It must have fallen out when I was running from that creepy dude!”

Alya’s face took on a more serious tone telling me that we should go look for it. We rushed down stairs, I paused at the bakery as I wrapped up in my warm jacket.

“Bye mama, I’m heading out, I lost my phone.”

“No, not right now Marinette, you're not going alone.” Mom replied as she handed a customer their order.

“Don’t worry Mrs Dupain cheng! I’ll be with her.” Alya appeared in the doorway next to me.

“Alright then girls, stay together and don’t be out long.” another customer walked up to her and her attention left us. “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Alya waved me to follow as she opened the door, we ran out to the school to search.

“Okay, so where were you attacked?” I walked over to the area that I saw paul.

“Umm, hereish.” I shifted my weight. “And then I ran that way.” I pointed to the corner of the school and led Alya to where I hid.
“It’s not here.”

“Is it the classroom? Alot of us just ditched our bags because of the akuma, I’m sure there’s still students returning to retrieve their bags, I think you left yours behind too.”

“Yeah, that’s probably what happened.” we turned to go back to the classroom when paul walked around to us. He really needs a hobby.

“Hey, is this your phone? I found it around here and there's a photo of you two on the lockscreen.” He held out my phone, Alya couldn’t recognize him with his change of outfit.

“Yes! Thank you so much sir!” Alya replied for me as I accepted the phone.

“Yeah, thanks.” I mumble.

“Anytime!” He smiled before heading on his way. I tuned out of reality for a moment, kinda wondering what would've happened if I did take that one more step. I wouldn’t have to face him again.

“Well? What are you waiting for Marinette? We need to grab your bag!” Alya snapped me out of my thoughts, seeming to have endless energy in her as she sprinted to turning the corner.

“I’m coming!” I called, racing after her. I pocketed my phone as I ran. My blood was pumping and I warmed up.

We entered the classroom and there was Kim and Alix collecting their bags along with Rose and Ivan.

“Marinette!” Kim caught sight of us.

“We saw the video, are you alright?” Rose ran over and placed her hand gently on my shoulder, observing me to check if I was injured.

“Yes, I’m alright, I’m just collecting my bags.”

“Want us to walk you home in case he comes back?” Alix hoists her bag onto her shoulder.

“No, I’ll be alright.” I hook my arm on one of the straps to slip it onto my back. I bit the inside of my cheek as it slid over my injury.

“Too late!” Kim interrupted. “You're our friend and after all you’ve done for us, and how we hurt you, it’s only fair.” They didn’t give me a chance to argue before I was scooped up with the crowd into the snowy outside. I was fairly safe because Alix and Kim will pick fights and win, no one messes with Ivan because he’s scary and the same for Rose but for the opposite reason.

“Gah!” I gripped my bag tighter as Rose held onto my injured arm trying to comfort me.

“Are you okay?” Rose’s big eyes filled with concern for me.

“Yeah, I’m fine, my arm just hurts.” I reassured.

“Right, didn’t he grab that arm?” Alix asked skating just a little in front of the group.

“Oh! Marinette! I’m sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!” Rose removed her arms worried.

“No! It’s fine! Really, yes it’s a bit sore, but I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me.” I smile, trying to cheer her up. “Besides, it’s too much of a nice day to worry about me!” I motioned to the snow falling around us.

“Marinette! You're so positive!” Rose gushed.

“Yeah, but you really should be a bit cautious, some strange man attacked you today. I’m not saying you should be negative now, but that you should still be worried.” Kim reminded all of us.

“I understand, I just don’t want my life controlled by fear, you’re not really living if you're living in fear.” I smiled at the ground.

“Welp! We’re here.” Alya spoke up once we reached my front door.

“Okay, here's where we part ways then.” Rose waved goodbye, leaving with Alix who was headed in the same direction.

“Stay safe!” Kim called as he ran off to swim practice. Ivan just gave a small nod and wave before heading home.

“Want to come up?” I asked Alya.

“I need to watch my sisters, I just wanted to check up on you first.”

“Okay then, have fun!” I watched her leave before slipping inside fast. It’s safer in here.

“Marinette?”

“Mama?” I walked it to the bakery.

“Oh, I thought I heard you come in, I just wanted to make sure you got home alright.” she smiled as she waited for the bakery to slowly clear for the day. “Where’s Alya?”

“She had to go watch her sisters.”

“She walked you home right?”

“Yes mama, so did Alix, Kim, Rose, and Ivan, we all had to grab our school bags.”

“That's good to hear.” My mom grabbed the cloth under the counter and spray bottle and started sanitising the counter top. “Could you start helping clean up a bit and let the people left that we’re closing.”

“Got it mama!” I grabbed the second spray bottle and cloth. I started by clearing off the tables with garbage some people so rudely just left there and dumped them out. I started scrubbing down the tables when I heard the door open.

“We’re closing soon.” I looked up at the person entering. The girl who entered had thick black hair pulled into a messy bun, she wore ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top. Her soft yet striking brown eyes glittered as she scoured the room and settled on me. She entered with another, I was unsure if their hair in the ponytail was blond or brown, but nevertheless, their gaze was equally intimidating. The person she entered with wore a matching outfit but had a knotted red flannel over their black tank top.

They approached me, the first one with a gentle smile gracing her warm burgundy lips.

“Hi! I’m Bella, my class’s class president, this is my vice president Cat.” They gave a small wave. “We’ll be fast, since you missed the recent meeting for the class presidents, we volunteered to let you know that we’ll be planning a winter formal. We didn’t get a lot of ideas down but here's the notes.” She dropped one of the bag straps from her shoulder and rummaged through her skull printed bag for the notes.

She found and pulled them out and handed them over to me. “We’ve got photos of them so you can keep those.” Cat finally talked as I accepted them. Cat was so quiet that If I didn’t have wolf ears, I might not have heard them. “Sorry.” Somehow they managed to get quieter to the point where even my ears could barely hear their words. I glanced over at Bella who nodded along as if she could hear and understand them. Both of them shared a glance, seeming to agree that they’ve said what they needed to say.

“Okay, well, I jotted down both of our numbers if you have any questions, feel free to reach out.” the two waved goodbye.

“See, see you on Monday!” Cat called as they left. I wave awkwardly, I recognize them from the meetings, but I never really got to know them. As soon as I get back to my journal, I’ll note to get to know them better. Scratch that! The more people I get to know, the more I’ll have to leave behind, I’ll just be friendly.

I tucked the notes under my arm and finished my job.

I watched the last consumer leave before leaving upstairs to set the table for dinner. Dad was already done with work and cooking up chilli.

“Hi papa.” I grin grabbing the silverware.

“Marinette, how was school?”

“It was fine up until the Akuma.”

“Oh yeah, I heard the commotion, I wanted to check it out to see if you got out safe but I trusted you.” Does- does he not know yet?

“Thanks.”

Mom came up soon after and helped finish up everything. I was on edge the entire meal, I knew my mom was going to tell dad what happened any minute now.

I finally calmed down around the end of the meal.

“Hey Tom, I want you to know that Marinette won't be going to school until next week.” MOM!

“Why's that?” he looked between us. NONONO!

Mom pulled out her phone. “This is why.” She played the video. My life is now over, dad is going to go into his overly protective mode and I’ll never be able to leave this house again if he has any say in it. I try to slow my breathing, I’m most likely just over reacting.

“Oh my goodness, Marinette, are you alright.” My dad trunks to me.

“Yes, I’m fine. I can still go to school, why do I need to wait longer?”

“I think you should go to school, but I’m going to agree with your mother right now. And when you do leave the house, I want someone with you.” Well, I guess it could've been worse.

I picked up my dishes and loaded the dishwasher, my lips pursed in annoyance.

“Where are you going?” My mom set aside her phone.

“I’m just a bit tired, good night.” I disappeared into my room.

Minutes flew by and I felt restless, minutes fell into hours. It was 1:35 in the morning when my legs and head finally chose to rest.

-----

Hi, feel free to skip this.

Note:

So I'm sure you noticed a special person has entered our story that if you read my authors note, you'd recognize, Bella! I'm there too but thats unimportant.

Okay, Let me say real quick - I personally don't like having too random of characters in fanfics. There are times when I love seeing them in stories if they are done well, but for the most part, I'm not that enthusiastic about it.

You may be thinking, 'well why are you bringing this up now after there already is Paul?' And I thank you for that question which i pretty much asked my self and you probably didn't think that.

Anyways, to awnser that question, it's because Paul is a character i made up to make up for the missing variable. I didn’t want to use a character already in the show because most of the mean characters are students, not including Akumas because there infectioned people and arnt necessarily bad. And I didn’t want to make a student the villain. Its different for putting Bella and me in because we only have a small part.

I mainly put us in because I wanted to work on writing good characters and so I decided to experiment with my amazing friend Bella. (I got her permission to add her to the story, don’t worry.) I put myself in there only because I wanted to so don't mind me.

Either way, Bella and I arn't going to be major rolls in this fic like Paul, Marinette, and Chat/Adrien, we're just side humans who are in there for me to work to better my writing and will show up every so often.

Okay, that was a lot, thank you so much for reading my story, I dont think I'm going to do too many of these note things in the future but I do want to connect with my readers and let you guys know that I'm honored to have you reading my work. If you have any suggestions on how I could improve or if you have any questions, feel free to let me know. Thank you again and I hope you have a fantastic day!