"I'll give you 50 pounds if you pretend to be my boyfriend right now," a strong voice greeted Remus, slamming his shot glass on the counter.

Looking up, Remus's eyes widened dramatically. If a man as perfect as this couldn't get a real boyfriend, Remus was screwed.

"Okay."

"Please my ex- Oh. Okay?"

"Yes, okay."

"Alright then."

Sirius shifted around uncomfortably, as if he didn't think he'd get this far.

"First time having a fake boyfriend then?," Remus asked with a laugh, shaking his head.

"Normally my best mate fills that role, but he's hung up at work."

Remus pulled the chair next to him right up against his before patting the seat.

"Remus Lupin," he offered his hand once the other man sat down.

"Sirius Black."

Sirius blushed as Remus kissed from his fingers down to the pulse point of his wrist.

"Well Sirius Black, it's a privilege to call someone as beautiful as you my boyfriend for the night."

"Likewise," Sirius replied shyly.

"Which one is he then?," Remus asked, turning halfway in his seat to scan the crowd over his drink.

"The blonde in the obnoxiously bright blue outfit."

Remus snorted, quickly covering his mouth.

"I can see why he looks so stupid. He needs some way to get the attention on him when he's in the same room as you."

"Says you."

"People only look at me because I'm tall and disfigured. People look at you because they mistake you for being a god on earth."

"Well, you could've fooled me. You being tall helped, but I chose you because you have kind eyes."

"Oh. That's sweet."

"I can give compliments instead of receiving them," Sirius teased, interlacing his fingers with Remus's.

"Let me buy you a drink and I'll give you a crash course on everything you need to know about me."

They talked for, Sirius couldn't even tell you how long actually, to the point where he forgot about his stupid cheating ex being in the same room as him. All he saw was Remus. Remus, who after another drink had asked Sirius a dangerous question.

"Do I have permission to touch you?"

"Yes," Sirius replied breathlessly, moving impossibly closer to Remus.

"If it's too much tell me."

"I'll tell you if it's not enough," Sirius challenged.

With a grin, Remus lifted Sirius up off the chair and positioned him into his lap, straddling Remus.

"Remus! You're going to get us kicked out," he accused, lightly hitting Remus's, quite firm chest.

"Not when the bartender is my best friend I won't. And as long as I keep my hands over the clothing, we're alright."

"I don't know where they've been hiding you but I'm glad I found you," Sirius mused, caressing Remus's face, his thumb lightly tracing one of his scars.

"You clearly escaped from an art museum. I've got some stolen contraband on my hands right here."

Sirius laughed, loudly and sharp, head thrown back, and Remus was gone. Once his laugh subsided to giggles, Remus couldn't help but kiss down his neck.

"Oh fuck, my ex spotted me."

"I forgot about him," Remus admitted, sucking a mark into the perfect spot on Sirius's neck as his hands wound tightly in his hair.

"So did I until his blueberry costume made it back into my peripheral vision."

It was Remus's turn to laugh and bury his face in Sirius's chest.

"You're perfect."

"You're not touching me enough," Sirius challenged, lifting Remus's chin with his pointer finger to look Sirius in the eyes.

"My mistake, let me fix that," Remus murmured, allowing Sirius to pull him forward to connect their lips.

Remus was drowning in Sirius, and he thought he could die happily if he never took a breath of air again. Sirius was overwhelming in the best way possible, and Remus couldn't get enough.

Sirius on the other hand was already plotting as to how he could get his, temporarily fake boyfriend, home with him when an incessant amount of throat clearing noises were being made. Remus pulled away, but Sirius couldn't help but lean in once, twice, three more times to peck Remus's lips. Kissing had never felt like this before.

"Gil," Sirius greeted sourly, giggling when Remus squeezed his arse.

He hadn't realized that Remus had snaked his hands into Sirius's back pockets. With another giggle, Sirius playfully rocked back and forth, enjoying the feel of Remus's hands.

Another throat clearing and Sirius rolled his eyes and glared at his ex.

"You're not going to introduce me to your friend Sirius?," Gilderoy tried again.

"I'm his boyfriend, something you'd know nothing about since you were quite a shit one. Imagine having this and not showing him off at every opportunity?"

"Gilderoy Lockhart," he offered a hand to Remus, who raised a questioning eyebrow.

"My hands are otherwise occupied at the moment, I'm sure you understand."

Remus watched as Gilderoy's new boyfriend anxiously shifted from one foot to the other so he turned to him.

"Good luck mate. If he can cheat on my cariad who looks as if he's been sculpted by the gods above, he can cheat on you."

"I don't view it as cheating. Why close off my options?"

"Are you poly?," Remus asked the man next to Gil.

He shook his head quickly.

"In an open relationship?"

"No, I value monogamy," he replied stiffly.

"Not with Gil you don't," Sirius muttered. "You're monogamous, he has whoever he wants."

"Can't be tied down you know," Gil replied cheerily.

"Fuck this. I've ignored all of your other red flags because you're good in bed but this is more than enough for me. You're going to pay for all of my tests now. I'm going to take a page from your ex's book and find myself a better man who won't waste my time. Sorry for the intrusion."

"Oh Fabian, don't be like that. It's not personal! Excuse us- Fabian!"

Sirius let out a relieved exhale and wrapped himself tighter around Remus.

"I can't believe you put up with that."

"Oh we didn't last very long, it's just the principle of him bringing the man he cheated on me with over to me. He tried to bring me to meet his last ex and honestly? I wish I would've gone because I could have avoided this whole shitshow."

"Is it wrong of me to be happy everything went south just because it means you approached me?"

"Can I be honest Remus?," Sirius asked, quickly kissing Remus's lips.

"I prefer that you are."

"I've seen you here for the past few weeks, this gave me the perfect excuse to finally approach you."

"There's no way you've been looking at me and I haven't noticed."

"This pretty little head of yours is always down in a book."

"Moral support for the bartender," Remus replied with a soft smile.

"Sirius? Sirius! I saw Gil outside. Are you okay? Oh hello-"

"Never better James," Sirius replied, waving James off.

"Are you sure? We can-"

"James. Light of my life. Apple of my eye. Can you not see that I'm busy?"

"Oh. James Potter, pleasure to meet you!," James greeted happily, extending a hand.

With a snort, Remus removed his hand from Sirius's back pocket and accepted the extended hand.

"Remus Lupin."

"So Remus, what do you do for work?"

"James, now is really not the time."

"But-"

"Potter," a stern voice greeted.

"Evans! So lovely to see you."

"You owe me," Lily mouthed to Remus before turning back to James.

"I still owe you 50 pounds," Sirius murmured thoughtfully.

"Use it to buy me dinner, and then breakfast the next morning."

"And then lunch. More dinner. Dessert. Another round of breakfast," Sirius punctuated between kisses.

"Sounds like a good deal to me, cariad."