Idea: Remus is fucking Sirius and only after when he frees Sirius and when Sirius immidately runs off crying, he realizes that the begs and cries Sirius let out weren't due to his sexual frustation, but due to it hurting him a lot and making him uncofmortable and insecure
Words: 1532
Warnings: non-consental sex, crying, begging, hurting, throwing up, a happy ending (yes this is a trigger for this kind of oneshot)

Remember that nothing is requiring you to read this if it makes you uncomfortable. (Lizi (this goes to you too, you don't have to edit this if you don't want to, you can just publish it) ( lizi here, i'm pretty sure i was meant to remove this but i wanna show how sweet aurora is, cam we get a "we love aurora" in the comments pretty please )

Also this was written at 11pm and my editor isn't a god, she's a human just like all of us, so somethings might not make sense ( wdym, i am?? )

Sirius isn't certain when it became unejoyable to him. Only moments ago it had been turning him on what Remus was saying. HIs hands were tied over his head and legs tied from ankles so that they are forced to stay apart. Remus is groaning over him and thrusting into him with fast and powerful thrusts that send waves of pain through Sirius every time.

Tears spring out of his eyes from the pain and whimpers leave his mouth, "Please-"

"Shut up whore~ You are my worthless cumslut and you do what I tell you to~ Don't disobey Daddy~" Remus growls at him.

This, in fact, makes Sirius very uncomfortable. He wants to cry and scream for help, but he also wants to please Remus. He loves Remus and he wants him to be happy. Even if this isn't the side of Remus he fell in love with.

He feels shame for how he feels. He knows he should be enjoying this. In fact he knows he should just be grateful Remus is willing to touch him at all.

"Say it~ Say you are my worthless cumslut~"

"I'm your worthless cumslut" Sirius chokes out. He almost gags from how disgusting he feels saying it.

Remus slaps his thigh harshly, leaving a handprint. Sirius already has multiple handprints and bruises from Remus biting him in the past hour.

"Don't cum yet you whore" Remus hisses, as if Sirius was about to. Sirius wasn't. He isn't even hard. He went soft 20 minutes ago from how uncomfortable he got but Remus still hasn't noticed. Well, he probably has actually. He just doesn't care.

"Stop, please-"

"You can handle it, I know you can. You have done it before."

But when now is not before. Sirius doesn't feel the same as he did before.

Sirius feels Remus's cum fill him up and he is so close to throwing up he can already taste it in his mouth.

Remus pulls out and breathes heavily. "Oh you fucking whore, you cummed with out permission. Your dick has gone all soft" Remus murmurs. Remus reaches out to Sirius ankles and lets them free.

Sirius's vision is blurry from his tears. Remus frees Sirius's hands. "Go on your hands and knees to receive your punishment" Remus orders. Sirius doesn't move at first. He just watches Remus grab his belt. He swallows harshly and for a moment he's certain he's going to die, and so his survival instinct kicks in.

He jumped up and grabbed his boxers before he sprints off. He locks himself into the bathroom and puts on his boxers. He can hear Remus follow him and he hears him knock on the door.

Sirius yelps from pure fear and he pushed himself to the very corner of the bathroom into as small ball as he can. He hopes the ground could swallow him and get him away from this monster.

He sees the door open to his horror. He realizes he actually didn't lock the door. Remus is standing there in boxers and a t-shirt, looking down at him. Sirius isn't sure what Remus feels at the moment as he is staring at Sirius's crying, shaking, whimpering and abused body, but he isn't almost certain it's most defiantly not concern.

As Remus watches Sirius avoid eye contact, he remains confused. He isn't certain what happened or what scared Sirius this badly.

He crouches down next to Sirius, who just tries to move even further away from him in the small space. "Sirius, baby, what's wrong?"

Sirius glared at him through his tears. He felt trapped. He couldn't leave with out Remus touching him again. He couldn't leave. Remus would trap him and put him in handcuffs. He'd force him to be naked all the time and eat from the floor. He'd make sure Sirius was worthless.

"Don't you fucking baby me after all that" Sirius hiccups. He sees how softly Remus is now looking at him and it makes anger boil inside him. As Remus's eyes turn into more confused ones, Sirius has had enough and he explodes like a volcano.

"I cried, I begged, I screamed and told you to stop but you didn't. I didn't moan, shake or show any kind of enjoyment at all. I wasn't even hard nor have been for the past 30 minutes but you didn't even notice. I didn't even cum but you were still going to punish me, you were going to hit me. I'm already covered in your hand prints and bite marks! What else do you want from me?! You already used my body with out my permission. You already let your liquids inside me with out my permission. You already have made me want to throw up and choke on my own vomit. So don't fucking baby me like you'd care about me. I'm only here for sex, aren't I? No wonder you wanted me to move in with you... I know this doesn't matter to you either because I'm worthless, like you said. You already have me trapped. I didn't manage to escape far then, hm? You already have me against yet another corner where I can't escape from. You are going to do it again until I loose consiscouness. You already raped me, why wouldn't you do it again? Because I'm nothing but your worthless, disgusting cumslut who should be grateful you even touch me."

Sirius throws up infront of himself from saying it all. He vomited until he was gagging and coughing.

Remus had called silent and pale. Now that he goes back in his memories, he realizes Sirius is right. Fuck. He had seen in what kind of state Sirius was after a letter from his parents but never once had he seen Sirius in this kind of state. In this bad state.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't know, I swear. I never meant to hurt you" Remus began and then moved out of the way from blocking Sirius's way to the door to make him more comfortable, "I didn't know I was hurting you, even though I should have. I should have listened to you. I'm so sorry Sirius. I know there's no making it right what I did but I'll do everything in my power to make it better for you. We can break up, if it'll make you feel better. I'll go live somewhere else, if it makes you feel better. I won't even look at you, if you don't want me to. I'm so sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I made you feel disgusting. I'm sorry I made you throw up and I'm sorry I gave you trauma that might never me healed. I'm sorry I've destroyed your trust and I'm sorry I might have destroyed all your self confidence. I'm sorry of the things I said. You aren't worthless and you aren't a slut. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are funny, you are sexy, you are kind, you are good, you are loved, you are so many amazing things it'd be impossible for me to list them all. I'm sorry I made you doubt that. I love you so much."

(this is how you apologise. Send this to who ever needs to hear this)

Sirius stared at him for a while and the nodded slowly. "I.. Thank you for apologizing. Uhm, we don't have to break up and you don't have to move out. You can look at me and talk to me but.. please just don't touch me. At least not yet. I.. I love you, I still do, but it'll be too much if you touch me."

Remus nods, "I can clean the vomit for you, alright?"

Sirius nods and stands up slowly. He hesitates to walk past Remus but he does eventually get the courage to walk past him and go back to the bedroom to change.

With baby steps they could be okay again. Not great. They will never reach what they used to have. No, Sirius wouldn't be able to. But they'd be okay. They'd be okay one day.