Requested by: @Ankoku_beCauSe_YES

Words: 835

Description: Remus is insecure about his scars and holds himself to "perfect" standards. Inspired by the song Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara.

Story:

Remus stared at himself in the mirror with distaste. He ran his fingers over all the tears and rips in his skin that had mostly healed over the years. He hated the way they looked. He hated what they stood for. 

He liked to avoid looking in the mirror when he could, because he knew it would lead to him staring for far too long as the thoughts filled his head like a storm with malicious intent. 

Remus didn't understand why he couldn't look like the other boys. Why he had to be the chosen unfortunate soul that had to suffer from this terrible disease that loved to tear him apart both on the inside and out. 

He longed with all of his heart that he could look normal. But he knew that even if he looked normal, he could never achieve perfect, and that hurt.

He wasn't sure how long he stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of their dorm. It might've been a few minutes or several hours. He had long since zoned out, eyes going blurry and unfocused as he stared at himself in the mirror. 

The longer he looked the more unfamiliar he became until the point came when he couldn't identify the person in the mirror, only that he didn't like who that person was. How that person looked. 

You're ugly.

You're ugly

you're ugly

youre ugly

youreugly

A never ending cycle of the thoughts that wouldn't leave him alone. 

That's where Sirius found him, standing in the middle of the dorm bathroom, dissociating and staring into the mirror. And Sirius knew what was happening and he felt sick by the pang in his heart at the scene before him. 

He took gentle steps towards Remus and carefully turned him away from the mirror. Remus's eyes were stuck focused to a spot on the wall over Sirius's shoulder and he lifted his hand to wipe the tears that were flowing freely from his love's eyes, unbeknownst to him. 

It took a few minutes for Remus's eyes to focus and for him to realize where he was, but Sirius had patience and didn't stop talking to him in a low, comforting tone that never wavered. Remus was one of the only things in Sirius's life that he was patient for, as it certainly wasn't Sirius's best trait.

Sirius brought Remus's attention to him by gently placing several kisses on the tip of his nose, making Remus's eyes go all crossy as he tried to acknowledge what was happening in front of him. 

"Hey, love," Sirius murmured in the same unwavering tone. 

Remus hummed.

Sirius tried for a smile, but he was pretty sure he failed. "Let's sit," he whispered, leading Remus out of the bathroom and together they sat on Sirius's bed. Sirius pulled Remus into his side, letting Remus rest his head on his shoulder

"You're beautiful Remus, don't listen to them."

Remus knew he meant the thoughts.

"I'm not," he said, voice dripping with the sorrows of a person who took all his anger at the world and turned it on himself.

Sirius held him tighter, imagining his arms as a shield to protect Remus from the world, from everything fate had thrown at him and everything that had yet to be thrown. But most importantly, as he carded his fingers through Remus's curls, he imagined protecting Remus from the thoughts in his own head. 

Oh how he wished he could fix everything. He wished he could just pick apart Remus's brain and take out all the rotten bits of it that made Remus feel like he was worthless, or ugly, or anything less than everything Sirius loved so dearly.

But Sirius knew deep down that all the magic in the world couldn't fix Remus

So Sirius resolved to hold him. To stand by him always to whether the storm. Because he knew as well as anyone that carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders would crush you and sometimes all you need is someone else to ease the weight and carry it with you. So he would be that person for Remus, for as long as he needed him. 

"You're beautiful just the way you are, baby, and I love you so, so much," Sirius said, pressing his lips firmly to Remus's forehead. 

"I'll help you to see that," he continued, rocking Remus gently. "And I'll be here for you always."

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Hello everyone! So sorry I haven't been updating anything in quite awhile, I've been completely consumed with the crazy plotlines and characters of the Dream SMP recently (watching lots of streams and youtube) so that's been taking up all of my attention span. Idk how often I'll post, but I'm hoping to get back into it. Anyways, thank you all so much for reading as always, you have no idea how much I appreciate all of you!