Words: 445

Description: Sirius stubs his toe and acts like it's the end of the world.

Story:

Remus Lupin was sitting up in his dorm room doing his Transfiguration homework. He liked to study up there because it was quiet. He was almost done when he heard a crash from the common room and a familiar voice screaming, "OH! OH MY GOD!"

Remus was quick to hurry down the stairs. Sure enough, Sirius was rolling around on the floor in front of the fire and a small wooden table was knocked on the side. Remus figured that it was the crash he heard. 

"Sirius, are you alright?" Remus asked, worry filling his voice. 

"Oh, Moony, thank Merlin you're here. I wasn't sure I would make it."

Remus sat back when he realized just how dramatic Sirius was being at the moment. "What hurts?" He asked instead.

Sirius remembered himself and started wincing and groaning in pain. "OH MERLIN THE PAIN! MY TOE! MY POOR, POOR TOE!"

"Sirius, you're fine."

"I'M NOT!"

James and Peter and frankly, the rest of the common room was looking on in amusement with barely contained laughter.

"Calm your tits, mate," James added helpfully.

"I HAVEN'T GOT ANY TITS!"

He got a few first years dissolving into laughter with that comment and it only fueled the fire.

"Don't encourage him!" Frank Longbottom told the little ones. Lily Evans glared over at Sirius from where she had now completely lost the focus of the first years she was tutoring.

Remus on the other hand, felt a bit foolish that he'd fallen for it at first. He should've been prepared for Sirius's drama. 

"Get up, Sirius," he said.

"I think I'm dying. I can see the light! GREAT GRANDMOTHER? IS THAT YOU?"

Frank had to look away finally, snickering quietly into his hands while Alice elbowed him, though she had a grin on her face as well.

"Okay," James said with resolve, stepping up and grabbing Sirius under the armpits. "Show's over, Black."

"PETE! Tell my mum that I hate her! She needs to know!"

Remus shook his head as Peter sighed dejectedly. 

"Death...he's here...to offer me his hand..."

"Blimey, how long's this gonna go on for?" Lily muttered. James was halfway up the stairs dragging Sirius.

"And thus...I die!" And Sirius made a great spastic show of going limp and sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth. James grunted at the sudden weight and struggled up the stairs, disappearing from sight in the dormitory, leaving silence in his wake.

And then the first years started to clap at the performance. Remus sighed, gesturing for Peter to follow him up to the dorm. 

He heard Lily grumbling to herself as they went up the stairs. 

She said, "He's seventeen, for Merlin's sake..."

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