Words: 1417

Description: The Marauders' first full moon all together as animagi. Part 5 to The Train, The Sorting, First Full Moon, and the Discovery.

Story:

All four of them were scared for the full moon on some level. And all four of them were pretending not to be.

"Last chance to back out," Remus said through gritted teeth. It was only a few minutes before the transformation was due to happen and the four of them were gathered around Remus in the Shrieking Shack where he was curled in a ball on the couch.

James squared his shoulders. "We're not going anywhere, Moony."

Remus wanted to cry. He was unbelievably touched by the lengths they were willing to go for him, if not a little concerned for their sanity. They three of them had spent the last two years learning how to become animagi, one of the most difficult forms of magic to perform. Just for him, so he wouldn't have to be alone on full moons.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of pain washed through him, taking his breath away. Sirius was quick to grab his hand and let him squeeze it, a concerned look clear on his face.

Remus's soft whimpers of pain turned into a sad laugh. "What?" Sirius asked, face twisted into a frown as he brushed Remus's sweaty hair out of his face.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to say?" He asked again, sadness seeping back into his tone. "Because it only gets worse from here."

He could see Sirius working his jaw and felt him squeeze his fingers once more. "We've told you, Moony. We're not leaving you. We finally have a chance to ease your suffering, so we're damn well gonna take it. You can't talk us out of it."

Remus didn't have the energy to argue any more, so he only nodded. "You do enough for me, every day. You being my friends eases my suffering. You don't need to put your lives on the line for me. I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are!" Peter shouted, red in the face. Remus hadn't expected him to be the one to shut down his negative thoughts and reassure him in such a passionate manner, but there he was.

James clapped Peter on the shoulder with pride, nodding his head vigorously. "We'll be just fine, Remus. Don't you worry your pretty little head about us, mate."

Remus wanted to say more, but he had to grit his teeth suddenly from the pain that wrecked him, feeling the scream that so desperately wanted to break free rumbling in his throat. He normally would have let it out, cursed the skies for his miseries and pleaded for it to end. But now that he had company, he was feeling self conscious. And he realized that he wasn't quite ready for them to see this side of him.

The Marauders were as close of friends as they come; they shared everything. But this one thing had been just for Remus. For years, he'd hoped and prayed for someone to understand him, to understand what he went through every month. He wanted someone to take care of him and tell him they were sorry this was his burden and that they wanted to help him carry it. He just wanted to feel cared for.

The Marauders made him feel cared for in ways he never imagined anyone possibly could. But they had never been able to care for him in the one way that he really needed. There was no possible way they could have, they weren't werewolves. They didn't understand.

And now, with the one thing he'd always wanted dangling right in front of his face, he realized that it scared him. He hated being this vulnerable and he was about to pull back the curtains and reveal everything to them. His deepest, darkest insecurities and fears, the trauma he dealt with repeatedly.

He wasn't ready.

But there was no time to prepare himself. Ready or not, the moon was rising.

He couldn't speak for how tightly he was clenching his jaw, his teeth aching at the pressure. He tried to find a way to communicate with them that the moon was rising, that it was time, but that thought was pushed far from his mind as the real pain started. He couldn't help but scream as he curled in on himself as far as his stiff body would allow.

The pain was white-hot and excruciating, so mind-numbing that he wasn't sure how long had passed before his consciousness left him.

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As soon as the screaming started, James knew it was time. He backed away from the couch that Remus was on, pushing Peter back and telling him to transform, to which Peter wasted no time. James then turned back to Sirius to make sure he was a dog, but instead saw him still beside the couch, hands in the air as he fretted over their bestfriend. Sirius so clearly wanted to help Remus and relieve the pain he was in, but he didn't know how.

So James grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him away. Sirius tried to fight against him at first, trying to get back to Remus, but James reminded him that the only way to help Remus was to transform. Remus's own transformation was just something that he had to go through. It couldn't be prevented and the pain couldn't be helped.

Sirius seemed to calm down and together, he and James transformed into their respective animagus forms, a deer and a dog.

Watching Remus transform into the werewolf was the most terrible thing they'd ever seen. Listening to him scream like that, watching as his body contorted and changed...

Eventually, the raw screams turned to howls and in Remus's place was the wolf. The deer and the dog shared a brief look while the rat scurried up the legs of the deer and settled in his antlers.

The wolf regarded them with confusion clear in his golden irises. Sirius stepped in front of James and Peter and stared down the wolf, growling low in his throat, his hackles raised. He advanced on the wolf who was becoming more aggressive as he felt cornered. 

The two had an intense stare-down before Remus finally gave up, laying down and flattening his ears. Satisfied, Sirius backed off.

Remus whimpered and started gnawing on his arm, tearing through the skin, his eyes sad. Sirius was quick to jump in, nuzzling his bared teeth away from his bloody paw. 

Instead, Sirius laid down beside Remus and curled up around him, and James settled himself down behind the two, Peter finding a spot between James's antlers to sleep. 

Together in the Shrieking Shack, the four of them slept peacefully, the first calm full moon Remus had ever had.

The next morning, as Remus's bones rearranged in a painful way, he was surprised to find that he was in relatively good shape. He glanced down at his bloody arm in surprise, tears springing to his eyes as he realized that it was the only visible injury that he had.

As his mind slowly came back to him, he realized he was sat on the floor in the middle of the Shack, a big black dog curled around him and a deer resting on the floor behind him with a rat sleeping in the crook of the deer's neck. 

Remus's face twisted as he remembered what they'd done for him, how they stayed the night with him during his most vulnerable time and kept him safe just as they had promised.

Remus felt the fur against his back disappear and warm arms wrap around his shoulder. Soon, two more pairs of arms joined Sirius and the boys held Remus in a comforting group hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..." He muttered on an endless loop as they sat there, the sun rising outside of the boarded windows.

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And that's a wrap! I think that I will be ending this one-shot book at this point. It's been one of my favorite stories to write in, but I'm no longer interested in continuing it. So, sorry for all the requests and the half-formed ideas that are on my list for chapters, they will forever stay there, I guess. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate the comments more than you know. Anyway, thanks, goodbye, have a great day!