Words: 842

Description: Marauders as vines part 3, enough said.

Story:

+++

Remus: *runs and jumps into a trash can* Fuck this shit I'm out.

+++

Sirius: *wearing heels and a sparkly scarf* I don't care about my haters and if you wanna fight me, then fight me *holding up his fists in a very non-threatening way*

+++

Remus: *fast asleep on his dorm bed*

James, Sirius, and Peter: *prank Remus by floating his bed on the Black Lake while he's still sleeping*

Remus: *wakes up on the lake, screams at the other three, falls into the lake*

+++

Sirius: Hi, my name is Sirius with a B, and I've been afraid of insects my entire--

Remus: Stop, stop, stop, where?

Sirius: Hm?

Remus: Where's the B?

Sirius: ~there's a bee?~

+++

Lily: *dancing around her house in her favorite new pants, the family cat joins her*

+++

Sirius: *doing shots with the mouthwash, gets it in his eyes and screams*

+++

Lily: Psst.

Harry: *wakes up* What?

+++

Remus: You stupid.

Sirius: No I'm not.

Remus: What's nine plus ten?

Sirius: Twenty-one.

Remus: You stupid.

+++

Remus: *mini golfing, yeets himself in the surrounding water*

+++

Peter: I have a banana peel on the ground, I'm gonna see if it's really slippery like it is in the cartoons. *slips* AAAHHHHHHHH.

+++

James: And how much did you pay for that taco?

Sirius: Hey, you know this boy's got his free taco-- *trips and drops taco, is so sad*

+++

Remus: *crawling into the laundry machine* I am disgusted, I'm revolted, I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and THIS is the thanks I get?!

+++

Professor Binns: *enters his classroom everyday the same way* Hello.

+++

Remus: *at the store, sees stress relief lotion, buys it all*

+++

McGonagall: Hey, hey, kids, kids, PATRICIA! *Sirius* Honey, can you be quiet, I'm just trying to do something.

+++

Peter: I'm about to say it.

Sirius: Say it, say it.

Peter: I don't care that you broke your elbow.

+++

Sirius: Dear diary, today I couldn't find my diary, so I'm writing this on both my Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDS.

+++

Sirius: Y'all ugly! *disapparates*

+++

James: *sitting in the backseat of the car, purple makeup all over his face, Stay With Me by Sam Smith playing in the background*

+++

Sirius: I got that bubbly. I got that bubbly. I gOt ThAt BuBbLy! I GOT THAT BUBBLY!

+++

Lily: Hey, how y'all--

Sirius the Dog: *growls*

Lily: *screams* Get your fucking dog, bitch!

James: It don't bite.

Lily: YES IT DO!

+++

Baby Harry: I smell like beef. I smell like beef. I smell like beef. I smell like beeeeeef.

+++

Remus: *skates down a ramp in the rain, comes to a dramatic stop* Good evening.

+++

Lily and James: *driving, the car in front of them swerves*

Lily: Pass this idiot.

Sirius the Dog: *is driving*

Lily and James: *honk*

+++

James: Hey bro, can I get a sip of that water?

Sirius: It's not water.

James: Vodka! I like your style.

Sirius: It's vinegar.

James: What?

Sirius: It's vinegar, pussy.

+++

Sirius: Going to the super market! I bought a chicken. *sticks his head out the window of the car and screams*

+++

Sirius: So I'm sitting there, BBQ sauce on my titties--

Remus: *dies of laughter*

+++

Peter the Rat: *sitting on a desk*

McGonagall: Whassa!

Lily: Is--Is that real?

+++

Remus: *playing piano* Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book.

+++

Sirius: I brought you frankincense.

James: Thank you.

Peter: And I brought you Myrrh.

James: Thank you.

Peter: Myrrh Der!

James: *gasp* Judas...no!

+++

Sirius: *dancing with his chicken wings*

James: Chicken wing, chick-chick-chicken wing. Chick-chicka-chick chick chicken wing!

+++

Remus: What do you want from me?

Sirius: *eating a Kit Kat bar wrong*

Remus: Please stop.

+++

Sirius: *runs through the house screaming, being chased by a vacuum cleaner that Remus enchanted*

+++

Remus: *crying* I just realized I'm broke. And they're laughing at me.

+++

Sirius: *takes a bite of his food* Oh, that's hot!

Euphemia: Not as hot as you.

Sirius: *smiles* Thank you, mom.

+++

James: Lily, do you want to go to the dance with me?

Lily: I've said no five times, get a clue!

James: *comes back with the board game Clue* Hey, Lily--

Lily: Goddammit!

+++

Sirius: Hey, Remus.

Remus: Sup bitch.

Sirius: Stop...

Remus: Bitch.

Sirius: aH.

+++

Lily: Hi.

James: *staring* Okay.

+++

Lily: aaaAAHHHHHHHHH!

James: Why are you running? Why are you running!

+++

Sirius: *squatting on the floor in a green suit* I'm gay.

+++

Sirius: Making copies, move I'm gay. In the work place, being gay just has it's perks *strikes a pose in the midst of the chaos he has caused*

+++

James: Everybody has a gay cousin.

Sirius: Bitch, I don't have a gay cousin. Wait...oh shit, I am the--oh ma god.

+++

James: WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!

Sirius: *sits up, groans*

Remus: *sits up beside Sirius* What the fuck, man?

James: *covers his mouth* OH!

+++

Sirius and Remus: *wishing James and Peter a good day as they go off to Hogsmeade*

Sirius: We're going to have lots of gay sex while you're gone!

James: We know!

Peter: You tell us this every day!

+++

Lily: *gives James flowers* Hey babe, happy one year.

James: *confused* I'm 27.

+++

Sirius: *falls through the ceiling* Hey, Rey.

Remus: Hey, Siri.

+++

James: *getting ready to fight Severus* Don't fuck with me! I have the power of god AND anime on my side! AHHHHHH!

+++

James: What the fuck? Is this aloud? What the fuck? Is this aloud?

Remus: *PDA with Sirius* Stop.

+++

Peter: *blows steam out of his mouth* Blazin'. Just kidding it's from my macaroni and che-eese!

+++

Lily: Is that a dog in a car--hey, HEY! *rolls down window* Wh--where'd you learn to drive?!

Sirius the Dog: *barks*

+++

Please request: