Words: 976
Description: Marauders as vines, enough said.
Story:

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James is sitting on the carpet with a horse mask on, peacefully meditating. Harry runs by yelling, "My poop is coming!"

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Sirius: Welcome back to me screaming. aaaAAAHHHHHHHH.

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Remus: *cleaning a mirror* This mirror is covered in shit. It won't go away. Oh wait, that's me.

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Harry is coloring the paving stones blue with chalk.

James: Why are you making those blue, dude?

Harry: Cuz blue is freaking TIGHT.

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Remus: Oh my god, oh my god, what are you wearing?

Sirius: *wearing a One Direction blanket around his shoulders, whips off his sunglasses* Gucci.

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Remus: Sirius, look how cute these pens are.

Sirius: Remus, that's gay.

Remus: Sirius, we've been dating for--

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James: Sirius, who do you think is the prettiest girl in school?

Sirius: The Epcot Ball.

James: Well I think it's Lily--

~ePcOt BaLl~

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Peter: Who am I? Let's go to the beach, beach. *Pause* Ninki Minjaj.

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James and Sirius: *dancing on the table during a party* Let's put the fork in the garbage disposal! DING DING DING DA DING DA DING DING DING.

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McGonagall: Um, Peter, can you read number 23 for the class?

Peter: No I cannot. What up, I'm Peter, I'm nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read.

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Sirius: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

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James, Sirius, and Remus doing the blanket dance.

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Remus: *looking at his essay for identifying a werewolf* Ha ha ha, I do that.

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James: *walks into the bathroom in his underwear* Hi, welcome to Chili's.

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Sirius: When there's too much drama at school all you gotta do is...walk awayayayayayay.

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Sirius: I saw you hanging out with Kaitlyn the other day *pillow in his shirt, sunglasses on, water gun in hand*

James: *pillow in his shirt also, claps* Re-Rebecca! It's not what it looks like!

Sirius: I won't hesitate, bItCh *aims gun*

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James: There's only one thing worse than a rapist *rips away paper to reveal 'child rapist'*

Sirius: A child.

James: No.

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Sirius: There's only one thing worse than death *rips away paper to reveal 'Remus's death'*

Remus: Myself.

Sirius: No.

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James freaking Harry out in the convertible while the top is going up, Harry ends up screaming and crying.

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Remus: *driving*

Sirius: Baby it's you, you're the one I LOVE, you're the OnE i NeEd!

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Sirius: Hey everybody, today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a kick starter to put him down. *shows a picture of Regulus and a chart* The benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less.

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James: So, basically what I was saying--

Sirius: *Punches James*

James: Aw fuck, I can't believe you've done this.

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Sirius: Don't tell your mother.

Remus: Kiss one another.

Sirius: DiE fOr EaCh OtHeR.

Remus: *falls out of his chair*

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Voldemort: Are you ready to fucking die?!

Harry: I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!

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Sirius: I had a dream we fucked.

Remus: Ha, gay, I wouldn't fuck you.

Sirius: You wouldn't?

Remus: I mean, unless you wanna.

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Sirius: *lip syncing 'Annie Are You Ok'*

James: *dancing in the background, beating a drum*

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Peter: People say I can't be what I want if I don't go to college. I don't need no degree to be a clothing hanger.

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James: *blows Lily a kiss*

Lily: *catches the kiss and throws it in a blender*

James: *shocked and hurt*

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Rita Skeeter: What makes the perfect woman?

Remus: You're asking the wrong person, I'm gay.

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Sirius: *throws the Frisbee into traffic*

Remus: wHaT tHe FuCk RiChArD?

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James and Severus in detention-

James: Let's tell each other a secret about ourselves. I'll go first. I hate you.

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Remus: Honey, toss me my keys. 

Sirius: *throws the printer*

Remus: I said my keys.

Sirius: I thought you said printer!

Remus: Why the fuck would I say printer?

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Sirius: *blackout drunk*

James: *pours water on his face*

Sirius: Hello?

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Sirius: *shoots a gun at the ceiling*

Regulus: This is why mom doesn't FUCKING LOVE YOU!

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Walburga: Okay, you know what? You're in time out. GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE!

Sirius: *crawling on top of the fridge* This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE!

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Peter: Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!

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James: What'd you say, what'd you say?

Slughorn: I said whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe!

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Peter: Yo, drink this vodka down the hatch! *chokes and spits out vodka immediately*

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Lily: Does it feel good?

Harry: *sitting on the table, patting peanut butter onto his belly* Eh.

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James: Back at it again at Krispy Kreme *does flip and breaks the sign*

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Sirius: Give me you're FUCKING MONEY! *throws doll*

~law and order special victims unit~

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James: How do you know what's good for me?!

Sirius: That's mY OPINION!

Remus: *is concerned*

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Remus: *pours himself some cereal out of a box labeled 'life' and lemons fall out* Well, when life gives you lemons!

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Sirius: *makes a flame thrower*

Remus: *screams* yOu BaTtEr StAhP!

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Lily: *shuffles over to Harry*

Harry: Daddy?

Lily: Do I look--

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Sirius: *waddles down the hallway on his heels*

Remus: *looks down in disappointment*

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Lily: *vaping at a party*

James: *turns to Sirius* Wow.

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Sirius: Hey loser, say kid backwards.

Remus: Dick?

Sirius: Ha ha ha, that's gay.

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Sirius: *playing a piano* Ooh suck a dick, suck a dick, suck a motherfucking dick.

Remus: *also playing piano* Suck a huge or smaaaall dick.

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Sirius: Hey professor! *kisses Remus*

Professor Binns: *pushes past* I think I'm gonna vomit!

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