Chapter one

Sacrifices

"A sacrifice to be real, must hurt, must cost, it must empty ourselves..." -Mother Teresa

"Mommy, Mommy look" the little girl tugged adamantly on her mothers coat sleeve. Her eyes glued to the quite nurse aid that walked past them steadily. The mother turned and reprimanded the girl for her rudeness.

Sara knew the scar on her throat drew many's attention, it was a glossy bight pink against the paleness of her throat. She had refused to wear scarves beyond the winter season and had learned to deal with these instances of attention. She calmly ignored it with the good nature she had been taught to have since she was the girls age.

'the sacrafice for surviving' she thought to herself.

She moved on down the east upstairs wing to a much more personally favored family, the Blacks. The coffee in her hands neither splashed nor dripped in her steady pace. Once there at the second to last room on the right she knocked softly not wanting to wake the older woman if she did managed to get some sleep.

"Come in" the slightly accented russian voice called out. She entered the room and smiled brightly in greeting and found the older lady once more sitting by her husbands side.

"Ah Sara I had thought you didn't work tonight." she took the coffee gratefully. "this is from your thermos?" Ann asked.

She nodded knowing the older lady preferred her coffee to the likes that you found in the nurses break room. She was glad to see the look of pleasure the woman garnered from the cup of home brewed coffee.

"How are you?" She mouthed slowly and clearly once the lady looked to her once more.

"I am fine Eric is as well. My daughter is wondering when next she will get to see you. You know how she is though." Ann shrugged much like any high born lady would. Or a queen. "it seems like on all of us you have made quite an impression on young Lilly."

"She is very sweet." she said in all silence once more.

"Have you had a chance to see the surgeon I was talking about? Don't give me the look. As I said before its not about taking the scar off but more along the lines of giving such a sweet girl as you her voice back."  Ann explained as she sipped her coffee.

Sara shook her head blushing at the old woman's look of reprieve. The smile she bestowed upon her moments later was worth the stern look. "Ah maybe soon."

The quite stillness filled the room and Sara moved toward the prone form of a still great man. He garnered his families love, respect, and loyalty even now, months after falling into his coma. A horrible hunting accident some said. Rumors sprung from a fountain of insanity saying it wasn't an accident at all. She hated to poke and prod the prone form but still she needed to. Her mind would rest ill at ease if she didn't.

She checked the catheter, the IV drip, and the feeding tube. All of it was in good working order. Some months ago a malfunction in the feeding tube had caused a drop in weight for the comatose man. Ever since then she had checked them regularly. Weeks before that his heart had stopped. It had been a lucky happenstance that she had been in the room tidying up and had noticed the tremors on his heart monitor.

After the two mishaps Ann had come to stay full time at the nursing home instead of coming only during the day. That was when they had slowly become friends. She would try as the  night carried on in her normal fashion to make the ordeal easier on Ann. She knew how hard it was to see a loved one in such a state, her own grandmother had been in a coma like state three days before she died. She had been old and dying already. This family must be having a hard time of it.

She finished her normal checks on Eric and moved to the door giving Ann her space. Neither of them were overly social chatters but each of them seemed to enjoy what few words were said between them. She went about her normal graveyard shift tasks. Cleaning the wheel chairs for the night, passing out various products, and refilling ice into the water mugs. There was call lights and some minor emergencies that always seemed to happen at night when there was very little staff on site.

She dealt with it all with calm sureness. Sitting out in the hall with a novel, time meant everything, all the tasks needed to be done in an orderly fashion. In the rooms with the patients time was meaningless. If nurse aids only ever thought of time as being important then the patients suffered for it. Sometimes much more important that food, water, warmth, and health was something many were unable to give, simple human comfort.

She always tried to make each individual feel important in some small way or another. She glanced at the clock for the first time in a long span of time it seemed and rose to check on Eric and Ann once more before last round. She entered as quietly as possible and placed a blanket over woman that slept peacefully. She went to Eric's side and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I will see you soon. Stay safe." her rough and damaged voice seemed loud and harsh in the silent room. It sounded harsh in all settings it seemed like. Which is why she prefered for people to think she couldn't speak at all.

She never lied she just allowed them to assume her vocal cords were too damaged in the accident to speak. It was still embarrassing for her to talk even to her niece. She hoped soon she could speak with Ann in all meanings of the word. She was one of the few she felt comfortable with to speak to. She exited the room as quietly as she had come in and began last round and getting people up.

She smelled the scent of clear cool water before the near silent footsteps entered the room. She heard the pittering of a heart and felt her wolf calm when it recognized friend from foe. The young nurse aid silently laid a blanket over her and turned to her husband. She allowed her eyes to open slightly the pupils glowing with the reflective material at the back of her retina. It was a good thing Sara was turned toward her husband. The rough sound of a damaged voice made everything in Ann freeze, she almost forgot to feign sleep once more as the girl left.

She smiled to herself long after she had gone. So the girl finally felt comfortable enough to speak with near her. She was glad to see the depth of friendship wasn't one sided. She found it odd that she and her wolf accepted a human girl as a friend so quickly. A human had done this to her husband and it was strange how a young human was the one to make the purgatory more bearable. Anika Romanov Black had never been one to give her friendship easily either. Odd in all senses of the situation.

Her dreams had been productive it seemed, her husband agreed with her that a new alpha must rise up. It had been six months since he had fallen into this poisonous coma and the pack suffered for it. Already small signs of discontent were showing. Fertility was down. Pack runs were being missed. Domestic disagreements were constantly popping up. A new alpha was needed.

'which of my sons to pick though'

Aleksander was strong and dependable. Armand was witty and diplomatic. Vasily was much too young and impressionable. Lilith was a female and had no time. Perhaps Nikolai would suite the pack best. Dominating. Strong. Resilient. Nobel. His heart was as big as the sky. Just maybe Nikolai would suit best. She wondered if she could get him to come back home. If he would still consider the packs needs greater than his own.

'Prehaps'