Choices

During the Christmas days, Sigrid couldn't help but watch Ragnar. Erik's brother had arrived with his children and grandchildren.

Ragnar was a natural with the little ones-playing with them for hours, telling them stories, and drawing them in with his patience and charm. It appeared he had a special gift for connecting with them, and she had to admire him.

Had she forgiven him? The question lingered, unanswered. Every time she smiled at him without meaning to, her heart would race.

When Erik looked away, they shared a secret understanding, a silent connection that intensified her longing for him.

Their eyes would meet across the room, and in the briefest touch, she could sense warmth spreading through her.

For now, a strange sense of belonging, as if it overcame her on the farm. Every room, every corner, seemed to embrace her as though it had been waiting for her all along.

Ragnar behaved impeccably after coming back and was showing the best version of himself. It was as though he had found his place in the world.

One evening, as she snuck into the kitchen and made her way to the pantry to fetch something nice for Balder, she perceived footsteps behind her.

Before she turned around, he was there, standing behind her in the small room.

Ragnar, looking straight through her while the others laughed and busied themselves with games in the living room. She felt a sudden warmth rise in her cheeks.

She became shy, and that moment reminded her of the insecure, somewhat foolish, and shy young girl she had once been. It was how he often made her feel.

"Give me one good reason not to kiss you," he said, as if he knew he had her where he wanted.

"As someone may come in here at any moment and see us."

"Not good enough." He stepped closer. His stupid, dazzling, self-assured smile was impossible to resist.

"Your father might send you away again."

He froze for a moment but then thought, taking another step toward her before saying, "No, it would be worth it."

Driven by a need to regain control, she blurted, "I saw you on Christmas Eve with Gudrun."

"Gudrun? Were you there? In church?"

"Yes," she nodded. "To meet Sigurd. But I couldn't help noticing how well you two seemed to get along."

"You did what? Alone? That could have had fatal consequences," he said, the teasing smile vanishing and his face grew serious.

"No, your father helped me. It was safe. I had to speak with him. After what you told me, I needed to know."

"So, what did you find out?"

"You were right. He is planning something." She met his gaze. "And by the way, you never answered my question."

"About Gudrun? Why do you ask? Are you jealous, perchance?"

"Not at all. I noticed that you two seemed to get along well. I wondered if you had considered it yourself."

"Are you mad? With her? No." He then fell silent for a moment before answering, "I was thinking of you when I stood there speaking with her."

She didn't have time to speak further before Erik entered the small room, and the atmosphere became much more oppressive.

"What are you doing?" He looked at them in surprise, casting a stern glance at Ragnar.

"Nothing," she said, perhaps too quickly.

Ragnar left them in frustration, and Erik left her standing there, uncomfortable.

"I swear, Ragnar..." she began, but before she could continue.

"Sigrid, I forgot to ask, did you gain any clarity after your meeting with your brother?" He inquired, and there was something in his voice that made her feel uneasy, as though he wasn't sure how to approach the matter.

"I did. Unfortunately, I feel I have no choice but to marry now."

"I sensed something was happening between you and Bjørn."

She gave a somewhat awkward smile. "Yes, I must admit, I had the same impression. But since he left, I have not heard a word from him, and I do not know when he will return. I cannot take that risk."

Erik fell silent, looking more uncomfortable, and he averted his gaze. "There are likely others out there."

She grew uncertain of what he meant. Was he hinting at Ragnar, or was there something else he implied?

He continued, sensing her confusion. "After the midsummer celebration, I received many inquiries regarding you."

"Inquiries regarding me? What inquiries do you mean?"

"Well, they were of the kind that concern marriage."

Embarrassment caused her cheeks to burn. "I see," she said, and both of them were now uncomfortable.

"But if you are to marry to escape your brother, it must be to a man who is wealthy and powerful enough to withstand him."

"You are right."

"Erik paused before saying, 'I can arrange for you to meet him if you wish. As far as I know, he is a good man and heir to one of the largest estates in Central Norway. It's nearby. I can send you across the fjord to Skogn by boat.'"

She nodded, but she knew it was not a simple choice she had to make. It concerned her entire future, and what she would do next was still unclear.

"I do not wish to go alone."

"I regret I cannot accompany you, but I will send my best boatmen with you, and they will safely guide you. And whoever you wish to bring along."

"Leif, Thora, and Ragnar."

"Ragnar? Is that wise?"

"You said I could take anyone I wished, my lord?"

"Of course," he said, though it seemed he could not contest further. "I shall begin preparations after Christmas." He turned, bringing the conversation to an end, and left her alone in the pantry.

Sigrid stood for a moment, aware of the room's silence. She retrieved the treat she had come for, a morsel for Balder, and closed the door behind her.

But as she was about to leave, it didn't take long before she was aware of an icy hand gripping hers with a forceful grasp. She flinched, her body freezing in reaction. Something pressed her against the wall.

He stood there, close, with an intense gaze. "What is it you think you are doing?"

"What do you mean? Did you overhear the entire conversation?"

"You can be sure of that," Ragnar said, glancing toward the kitchen.

"Are you planning to marry Erlend Arneson of Skogn? And, to make matters worse, punish me by being a mere spectator to the whole courtship?

She shoved him away. "No, but I see this as a chance to spend some time alone with you-it's hard with your father watching us like a hawk."

Ragnar looked at her as though he were trying to understand what she meant. "So, you are doing this for me?" He asked, his face softening, as if he couldn't quite grasp what she wanted.

"No, I am doing it for myself. Now, it is time for you to show your best side, Ragnar Erikson. You only get this chance."

Sigrid pushed him back against the wall with a firm grip before she left him without a word, speechless and alone in the dark.

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