Tick

Tick

AVA

Summer shifted back to a beautiful golden autumn, and Ava walked with Rayan and James through the forest of Eastpoint back home. Their conversation over break weighed heavy on her mind, but her recorded message remained locked until the time she set for it to open.

"I thought you had to make dinner," James pointed out when Rayan came all the way to their front porch. Her brother's mood went up and down in a spiral, but the cooler months appeared to lessen the burden Ava knew he held inside. Whether in a failing attempt to pretend nothing happened, or to try and push himself past it.

Whatever the case... I think me and Rayan both know how we're going to approach this. We just need to give it and James some time.

Janie waved at them through the living room window. In the kitchen, Mom busied herself at the stove with a stew simmering in a large pot. I guess Dad must've finally started on the roof now that it's colder.

Ava let James and Rayan enter first. "We're home, Mom!"

Mom peeked over. "Ah, hello Rayan."

"Hi, Mrs. Ranier." He rubbed the back of his head and shuffled in place. His brow crinkled and he breathed deep in nervousness.

Beef stew swirled in her nose and another flash of guilt pierced her heart. "Is Dad going to be home soon?"

"He should be. He went to the hardware shop." Mom glanced at the antique clock. "Are you going to join us, Rayan? We always have plenty to go around."

"Oh." Rayan clapped his hands together with a quick shake of his head. "I appreciate the invitation, Mrs. Ranier, but I have to go get dinner ready at my house before my mom gets home..."

The front door clicked open behind them, where the evening breeze swiped a chill down her back. "That won't be needed, Mr. Falae," Dad said in his usual gruff tone, though she frowned at the tightness in it. "I had a chat with your mother, she's home waiting for you."

Ava turned to face him, while James scowled with deep pain. Rayan tucked his shoulders closer against his neck. "Oh, well. I-I better go then. I wouldn't want to keep her waiting."

Dad refused to move from the threshold of the half-open door, where the night danced across their yard. Infernal rage laced through James' expression as he clenched his fists. Silence drowned the once loud household. Janie, who came to greet Dad, froze at the arch. Dad folded his arms. "I think the both of you have something to tell me."

Both of us? Does he mean me and Rayan?

Before she opened her mouth for an explanation, she jolted when James jumped in first. "What would the point be in interrogating her if you already know?"

It burned her ears, and Ava whispered, "Don't, James."

James frowned at her, and Ava blocked Dad's path to Rayan, who sank deeper into the shadows. "Rayan and I have been dating since winter break," she said and studied the heavy shadows underneath Dad's eyes. "You were the one who said you couldn't stop us from associating with him."

Tick. Tick.

Dad tugged out a piece of paper from his jacket, along with an infopod, and it became clear which 'we' he referred to.

The tag of her explorer group, the Northern Wolves, punched her in the stomach. Terror filled James' expression and he took a step back from Dad. "Ava, you told me you weren't sure what you wanted to do. Is that a lie?"

Ava found her words failing her when it mattered the most.

"You should leave space exploration to that branch of the Sanctum," Dad pointed out. "However, this is nothing more than mercenary work." He folded the dream, but never ripped it apart. "I don't approve of freelancing. Mercenaries I've come into contact with don't follow any rules but their own. They claim the rules set in place restricts their capabilities and they bend the system for selfish desire and their need for their next price." He eyed Rayan, and Ava steeled her resolve. "They don't care that some of those rules are there to protect others." Dad tugged out another cigar with a huff. "I did wonder if this was Rayan's influence, and it's true I cannot stop the association—"

"It wasn't his influence, and you can't stop her," James bit. Fury creased his brow while his eyebrows knotted. "What right do you have?" He stepped between her and Dad. "You're never around! You've even told us some rules need to be broken under certain circumstances!"

Dad bit down on the cigar. "I've never had a talk with you about your foolish aspirations," he said with the same heat as James and pointed at him. "You have a complete disregard for authority. You have sub-zero discipline, James Darius Ranier. Strike Forces B.T would chew you up and spit you out. Black Holes, I could hope it'd teach you some modicum of respect, but I know better than anyone where it leads afterwards."

"Well, what does it matter?" James snapped. "What does it matter to you what Ava wants to do with her life then? You don't get to decide that!"

Ava tugged James' arm. "James, don't argue this..."

He ignored her. "Ava doesn't have to do everything you say!" he argued. "Nor I. I don't think you've noticed how hard she works to make your proud — to make you stay and be our dad for once! Except your expectations are ridiculous and unfair! Don't tell me you do that to the people in your command. Do you treat people like they're irrelevant when they don't fit an ideal image?"

In her peripheral, Mom stepped forward, but came to a stop when Janie raced for her.

Tick. Tick.

"I expect better."

"Great, how nice of you to put those expectations of you on us," James said, shrill, and Ava flinched at the venom. "So, what? You think I want to join the Strike Forces in my own stupid attempt to make you happy? You realise I don't care whether I make you happy or not? The person you're lecturing cares more about your happiness than I do." James leaned forward and drew out, "I. Could. Care. Less." He straightened himself back out and stomped into Dad's space. "You have no right. What right do you have to come in here and treat us like that?"

Dad raised his eyebrow. "I'm your father."

James laughed, sharp and in pain. "It doesn't make you our dad though. You have no idea how hard Ava's tried. How many sleepless nights she had working and studying all to make you proud." James swung his arms out, but Dad never flinched. "Your expectations aren't fair. You're a stubborn hypocrite who views everything like the Strike Forces!"

"James." Ava left Rayan in the shadows, who flinched. "Stop—"

He wrenched out of her grip. "It pissed me off." He switched his fury to her. "I was the one who had to get up to make sure you went to bed. I was the one, night after night, trying to tell you that you can't maintain this image of perfection. You aren't a superhuman." James trembled. "But no, you had to keep telling yourself that it was worth it to make him happy — well, newsflash, Ava!" He pointed at Dad. "He's stubborn and nothing you can do will make him happy! He wasn't there when you got put on the Honors. He wasn't there for all those times you excelled. He didn't even want to be around when you started going out with Rayan!" His jaw clenched and he whipped back to Dad, whose expression steeled. "You shouldn't change who you are for anyone. You shouldn't base your choices on someone else's feelings." His shoulders trembled, but they went still in one smooth breath. "Not for anyone, understand? Have your own expectations for once."

James...

Energy cracked in the air. Ava stepped to the side when Rayan left the shadows to go around James with a heartbroken expression while his golden eyes watered. "Maybe you should take your own advice, Jamie," he whispered, soft and unsure before pushing past Dad.

One more person, unhappy, out of her reach.

James twisted to Ava with an expression of confused realization. "Ava, did you two...?"

Dad stepped to them, and they both jumped. "Go up to your room," he instructed. "I need to have a long talk with both of you before I leave."

James scoffed, and dragged her up the stairs as Dad chewed on his cigar. James pulled her into his bedroom, heading for the window to unlatch it, opening it to allow the breeze of autumn to swirl in their bubble. "You didn't, did you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ava said.

James scowled. "Don't give me that, you know what I'm talking about! Rayan wouldn't have said that to my face unless I messed something up." Water filled the hazel. "You didn't, did you?"

Ava shook her head. "No."

James breathed deep, then returned to the window to study the tiles of the first floor porch. "You know what, I think it's about time you broke some rules. You're going to do a lot of that later, so better get used to it." He headed up to her, and Ava gasped when he picked her up with ease. "Ladder at the end of the alcove. I use it all the time to sneak out."

"James, stop, put me down—"

He shoved her through the opening, and her feet slid against the shingles. Ava went to grab him, but he held her out. "Look, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for being such a massive idiot like he is."

Ava dropped her hand from James' shoulder as he lowered his hands and sat in front of the window to block her entrance. "You are always so selfless. If I let you... you're going to make a choice I would never forgive myself for." James frowned deep. "All I can ask of you is to not make my mistake, and don't let Rayan get away from you."

Ava shook her head.

He placed his hands in his lap. "I know you like Rayan, but you've always been scared of disappointing or hurting other people. For once in your life, Ava, be selfish." He lowered his head while tears fell down his cheeks. "Let me stay here. I can handle Dad alone."

"I like Rayan? Of course I like Rayan," Ava rasped as she hung off the window sill. "I adore Rayan, but James, tell it to me straight. Tell me the truth for once. If I'm scared, what are you?"

"A stubborn hypocrite," he whispered. "And I wish I never agreed to that dare." He hugged himself with a shuddered breath. "I wish I never gave him a chance, that I never let him close. He is such a... ridiculous, infectious person maybe... I could've avoided all of this if I had just ignored him when he broke my camera." He huffed. "I've already decided. I've lost my chance. Rayan makes you happy, and I've got no one to blame but myself. I want you to be happy." He got up and put his hands on the window. "So, if I have to pretend to make you leave, pretend I will... what I feel doesn't matter." James leaned closer. "So, go on. He does like you. You like him. Rayan's the person who makes you happy, not Dad. So, don't let him get away. Not like I did."

"Wait, it's not—" Ava lunged forward to climb back into the room, but he slammed the panel shut on her, and locked it. "James! I need to explain something! Let me in!"

"No." James closed the last panel, which blocked her brother in full.

Ava smacked it. "Let me back in you stubborn ass!"

In response, he locked it too. Ava stared at him in disbelief, but slammed her hands against the window and caused him to flinch. "I'm not mad!" she snapped to the stars. "I'm not! I just want you to be honest! Say it to me! I know now, but whatever you're afraid of, I'm your twin sister! Out of everyone in the world, surely you can trust me at least?" Another smack against the glass and James crept closer, so close to change the course of time. "Tell me if you have feelings for—"

James mouthed words, and she went still.

'I do.'

It had been so clear, and she missed her brother's pain until it was far too late.

Ava crept closer. "James, please think about this. I can figure this out. I can figure out how to fix this. I want you to be happy, but I can't do that if you push me away."

He blinked, then smiled. He motioned behind her before closing the blinds and disappeared into the dark.

On the outside of a closed door.

Frustration filled her heart. Fine, but he still can't control what I do next. No, I need to tell Rayan. I need to confirm it for him. We both know. I want this to make sense! Ava slid down the ladder, and when she slipped through the frontyard, she spotted Mom and Dad sharing quick, heated words, and Dad got up from the table to move upstairs.

But I...

"Be selfish for once."

Everything in her screamed to go back home.

No, I need to get to Rayan first. Ava scowled, and rushed down the path, through the scattered buildings and woods to get to the Falae estate. "Rayan!" she called through the growing dark. "Rayan!" Ava broke through the forest edge and onto the property.

Rayan moved for the gate, his back to her. If he goes through that gate—

"Rayan, hold on!" Ava snapped and ran for him.

Rayan turned, and Ava embraced him. "Don't leave," she rasped with her lateness. She let him go and caught the rest of her breath.

Rayan frowned. "I thought your dad—"

"Forget about him for a minute," Ava said and stepped for him. "Rayan, James just threw me out of the house."

Rayan blinked. "What?"

"He threw me out of the house," Ava said. "Rayan, we need to sort this out. Can I come in for a few minutes to get my bearings?"

"Of course. I still need to make dinner but..." Rayan rubbed his chin and took her inside. "I don't know, maybe you can talk to my mom about this..."

"Rayan." Ava gripped onto his forearm. "I'm going to try and get James to agree to come over to talk."

"I understand." Rayan opened the front door and nudged her into the foyer. "Mom?"

"Rayan?" Mrs. Falae asked from the kitchen, and Ava waited until Rayan's mom joined them in the foyer. "What is going on?"

"Okay—my father and James—" Ava hugged. "Big fight, I hope I'm not intruding. I just need some space."

Mrs Falae sighed. "Alright, let me call your mother to tell her where you are."

"I'm..." Ava sunk into her shoulders. "I'm not really supposed to be here."

Understanding flashed in Mrs. Falae's expression. "I see, it's like that, huh?" she asked, then brought a slender hand against her nose. "Damn you, Garrett." One more heavy sigh, she nodded. "Explain everything to me over dinner, and don't leave anything out. I'm still going to call your mother, because they'll figure out you left."

Both Mrs. Falae and Rayan led her to the kitchen, to a place where she could think out her next steps.