Planet: Eteran

First Insurgency War

JAMES

Salt dripped off his tongue as he spit into the bowl with what he had of his breakfast. His hand grasped for support, and found the rims as he choked and coughed. Rayan's presence furthered the fire in his stomach as he longed to rip out his throat and die. It crawled through his spine as he tried not to scream as Rayan came closer to kneel at his side.

No... James hovered over the bowl when it tightened and released in his chest. His hand found Rayan, but he found no strength to shove him out of his space.

"Easy," Rayan said, giving no reaction to his expulsion of disgusting innards. "Stop holding it in."

Wetness crawled down his cheeks while the salt swallowed his senses. Rayan inched too close, and James scowled when he rested a hand on his back to brush circles around it.

Honestly, if I choke to death that'd be nice.

James dipped closer into the bowl to hide himself as he tucked into it. It rippled into a calm before the next storm. He shook his head, and the tears overflowed and dripped down his nose as he wanted to shove his head into water. Rayan jolted and came closer instead of running away.

"James, my mom's coming here soon," he said with a panicked expression.

Just leave me here.

Rayan's hand never left his back when the agonizing minutes dragged him through the salty, bile-filled moment. He hissed through his tears as he refused to look Rayan in the eye even at his urging. Darkness fluttered into wormy cocoons around the edges of the world as another door opened, and a taller shape entered the bathroom.

"Mom." Rayan got out of the way, and took the warm support with him.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here," Mrs. Falae said and wrapped her arms around him. "The storm got worse pretty quickly and I had to try and drive through some of the snow." Her hand wiped back his brow. "Rayan, can you pass me a towel?"

"Mrs. Falae..." James rasped, but it surged into his throat at his attempt to speak, to run from the situation he walked into.

Mrs. Falae grabbed the towel from Rayan's shaking hands and placed it on the ground beside her. James sniffed on tears as he rested his brow against the flat rim, unable to stifle his sobs.

"You're okay," Mrs. Falae reassured as she held him. "It'll stop."

He's not going to live this down — why here? Why'd he have to follow me? Why'd I stop?

It took several more minutes for Mrs. Falae to lift the towel to him, and he grabbed onto it to hide his face into the fabric. "Can you stand, James?" she asked.

He shook his head, and the bubbles in his chest frothed behind his teeth as he adjusted himself onto his knees, to pull himself past his weakness. Strong hands held his forearms and lifted him the rest of the way to his feet. Nudged over the sink, he twisted the faucets to clean out his mouth of the bile driving itself into his nose and past his lips.

Uncertain of everything, he followed the urging of a pair of hands after hiding in the towel again, up some steps which he peeked underneath the towel for, and into a dark room.

"Lie down," Mrs. Falae instructed. "I'm going to call your parents. Rayan, stay with him until I come back."

"Okay."

James held onto the towel and refused to release himself from the protective fabric while someone else guided him onto the bed, where a mattress took his weight with ease. He groaned with the expanding bubble in his throat, and froze when Rayan whispered, "James?"

He lowered the towel from his brow, but covered his mouth.

Rayan sat on the edge of the bed with a concerned frown, but James hunted for the disgust which followed. It never came. Trapped with his secret he longed to keep from Ava, he dread the conversations to come. Rayan pointed at the door attached to the suite they took him into. "Bathroom's right there, by the way."

"Thanks, I could figure that out for myself."

Rayan smiled at him, but it faltered when Mrs. Falae came back with a huff.

"I've told your mother and father where you are, with this storm, I don't want to move you too much — I'll get in contact with Dr. Matthey," Mrs. Falae said as she reached his side. "You need anything?"

"I want to be alone."

Rayan's brow twisted in an unspoken argument, but Mrs. Falae nodded. "Okay. You get some rest. I'll be downstairs if you need me, and I'll let you know if I'm leaving the house at any point." Her shadow bustled past Rayan, who stood up, and she stopped by the room panel, tapping in some settings. Lights shone into a calming dimness, and James blinked when she set a remote beside him, pointing at the I-Screen.

His fingers wound around it as the two left him alone, though Rayan hesitated on the threshold.

Ugh... why did it have to be him... James moved the towel of his lips and set it at his side when Rayan followed Mrs. Falae out of the dim room. He rested his hands on his boiling stomach as he stuck his tongue between his teeth. The bed-side clock ticked on, and he turned on the I-Screen, and scowled at the pastel. Rom-com. Rom-com... He flicked through the stations to find something else. He gave up after the fourth rom-com, and tossed the remote to the side.

He released himself into darkness, but jolted back into the alert world when the door creaked open again.

"James?" Rayan slipped in.

"Huh?"

Rayan was a blurry, painted figure against an autumn backdrop as he came closer into clarity, and held out a water capsule. "Mom says to drink this, and that she's talking to Dr. Matthey right now." James opened his mouth to reject his help, but Rayan's expression turned into golden steel. "Don't say you're fine, just take it. It won't kill you."

James rolled over and hid his tears in the pillow. "What else am I supposed to say?" He shoved himself deeper into the pillow to escape, but Rayan's footsteps never sounded. "I don't need this... I would've been fine..."

"Well, you're not now," Rayan said with a bull-headed bite. "Let me help you."

James rolled back over when the mattress dipped and Rayan sat down again. "I could've made it."

"Sure," Rayan murmured with a surprising amount of divisiveness. "I'm sure you wouldn't have collapsed in a snowbank somewhere alone and gotten hypothermia, but what do I know?" His lips twisted into a thin line while his brow creased. "You are stubborn."

Still preferable.

James reached his hand out, longing to go past the capsule to grab onto the frozen autumn. Chills swept onto his fingers when Rayan handed it to him and let go faster. His heart soaked in the bile as Rayan stared at the closed window, and he found himself adrift in the golds. It jerked out of the acid when Rayan got up with a huff, rubbing his arms.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"You said you wanted to be alone." Rayan never faltered from his steps. "I'm going downstairs and see what Mom says and come right back."

James pressed his hands against his soaked cheeks and hid his eyes when Rayan disappeared out the door and left him in the dark. He rolled over and bit down harder on his tongue until the blood joined the salt. It danced across his chest and through his stomach, waiting for when Rayan came back. He kicked off the sheets, but what little strength he had failed him when he tried to sit up, to run.

Far away from the uncomfortable situation.

His feet touched soft carpet.

His spine straightened out as he lifted himself out of the covers.

"James, I said I was going to come back."

James whipped around, but the world went in slow motion as a phase of colour spread throughout his world before his back hit the carpeted floor. He jolted when Rayan caught him with steadfast ease and an unbreaking expression as his hand rested around his back and against his side, with the other supporting his arm. James cringed as Rayan pulled him into an upright position, and the golden autumn locked him in its stare.

He broke out of it as Rayan let him go, and his hand drifted on his, and he shambled back over to the bed when Mrs. Falae entered the room with a bucket and cloth.

"I need to go back home," he rasped. "I... I don't want to burden you."

"Dr. Matthey is on her way," Mrs Falae said. "You're not burdening us. Honestly." Her smile widened. "We have too many unused rooms in this manor, so try to get comfortable and sleep. Now." Her hand rested on his shoulder. "I need to step out and meet with Dr. Matthey — Rayan will still be here. Do you need anything while I'm out? Anything at all?"

James gazed at Rayan, who stood back and said nothing, when before nothing stopped Rayan from adding something to a conversation — no matter the amount of words he used. Rayan folded his arms and tipped his head with a question to his lips, and the gold shone in the endless void.

"No, Ma'am."

Mrs. Falae broke into a laugh. "Ma'am? Where did this come from? You're not one of my recruits, James, you don't need to refer to me like that." James winced and rested against the bed as Mrs. Falae nodded at her son. "Call me if anything happens, Rayan."

"I will, Mom," he said, and changed his attention back to him.

James huffed. "Are you going to stand there until I pass out?"

"If I have to."

James rolled over to avoid the intensity of the fire. "That makes me want to sleep less." He observed Rayan in the corner of his view as he moved to grab the remote, turning on the I-Screen to the rom-coms he wanted to escape from, where the pastels burned into his eyelids. "What are you going to do?"

"I'll find something to do," Rayan said as he set the remote down. "I might bring my sketchbook up here... I like these colours."

"Ugh."

Rayan's smile returned. "Is that disdain I hear?"

"These colours are too grainy half the time. I don't think they're saturated right..." Darkness fluttered. "Or it's the I-Screen.

"Maybe," Rayan said with a slight scoff. "I like them for that reason. They're... persistently bright." Rayan came closer to lean on the bedstand. "You see — it's easy to lose the vibrancy depending on how much white is mixed in. You have to be careful to retain the colour while adding this soft touch to it." Rayan motioned with his hand, and James gazed at the smile on his face. "I like them because of that. Soft but still so bright, vibrant, and colourful without losing itself in the mixture."

"Hm..." James hummed. "Painting talk..."

"I can stop."

James shook his head, and the bubbling quieted.

He listened to Rayan talk, and his heart hammered at the ease of his words and the sucking effect Rayan had with his voice. Strong. Powerful. Something Mrs. Falae had which danced in the balance of her motherly affection. Rayan went quiet, but he longed to hear more out of the troublemaking painter.

It went fuzzy.

"What's your favourite colour?" James asked.

"Tough one, I've got a lot, but I actually like black, it's a good color setter, it really makes certain colours pop," Rayan said with a small swipe of his hand. "Why? What's yours?"

James studied his eyes and angled them into a picture without his datacam.

He breathed deep, but the void swallowed his view before he could say the real truth behind the love of gold.