Planet: Eteran

First Insurgency War

JAMES

He sat in his bed, staring at his empty notebook. Words flowed along the lines, but never told a story. A sigh tickled his lungs, and he let it go to the wind when Ava's voice sounded from Janelle's room. He swung his arm across his brow while their tone lifted into an argument.

What is wrong with me? Ever since we got back home I can't concentrate. He closed the notepad with a snap, and groaned into his pillow while Janie and Ava bickered back and forth about the laundry. Snap. He smacked the pillow against his face. Out. Smack. Of. It. I need to get over to Rayan's to help him with Ava's birthday gift...

His thoughts dwindled to the day among the willow tendrils of stars. It pressed him deeper into the bed as Ava's footsteps stomped to his door, and he scowled into his pillow when it swung open. He lowered the pillow, where she stood in the frame with her arms crossed.

"What happened?"

"Janelle's been stealing both our clothes. Again," Ava said. "Why have you been so mopey recently?"

"Have I?"

"I counted ten deep, solemn sighs today." Ava raised her hand to count her fingers. "Two huffs when we got back home yesterday. One disgruntled scoff when Dad asked how the camp  out was." Ava loomed over him. "What's the matter?"

"Who said anything was the matter?" James tucked his notebook into his pocket. "I'm fine, Ava. Not everyone can be perky, Miss Perky."

"I just want to know why you're upset. You've been acting weird."

"Again, who said I was upset?" James scowled.

Ava shook her head. "The look on your face."

"I don't know, maybe I'm frustrated because..." James faltered and squished the sides of his pillow. "Actually, I don't know why I'm frustrated." Back against his picture wall, surrounded by his frozen moments, with one left uncaptured and out of his reach. "Ever thought that maybe I'm just having one of those weeks?"

Ava grabbed the laundry hamper with a grunt. "Whatever you say, James. Also, you better not have mixed your clothes again. If I get a piece of fabric from you in my pile."

"What's the big deal?" he questioned. "It's just clothes."

He crawled out of bed and gathered his glitchy datacam and I-Pen's. He threw it into his schoolbag and slung it over his shoulder. "You not going to come with me to Ray's?"

"Unlike some people, I've got chores."

James frowned at her. "Great, which you also did at the camp out. Chores. The point was to have fun, Ava. You didn't have any. But, whatever." He shrugged his shoulders and left his room, where she shadowed his steps. "I'll tell Rayan you're taking a raincheck, but if he calls you, not much I can do about that." He stuck his tongue out at her.

"If he does, I'll just tell him the same thing I've just told you," Ava said and threw the hamper out into the corridor. "Besides, isn't this... something you two do together. Alone?" she drawled with a twist to her lips. "You two talk about your art stuff and classes, I'm not going to shove myself into that." Her grin deepened into one of smugness. "In fact, I was thinking about how I've never seen you like this with anyone else, really. Not even Jon. Usually you're a recluse."

Waves swept through his heart. "And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm happy that you're finding friends to connect with and share interests."

James grunted. "I like Starcross, thank you."

"Yes. You also like art, photography, writing." Ava grinned further. "Does Jon like any of those things?"

James headed for the staircase with a huff. "He's not really one for the terminology, which is fine. I can carry a conversation."

"Rayan speaks your language, though," Ava needled right behind him without fail. "Why are you so mopey? You've been spending time with Rayan. Dad's home after..."

"That's good enough reason to mope, honestly—"

"And!" Ava raised her voice. "It's our last Quad at Eastpoint Collegiate. Were you thinking about something you want to do?"

"No." James shuffled with his straps. "Also, you sound like Dad."

Ava slapped his side. "You need to stop being stubborn. If you want, I'll come later once I'm done with my homework to hang out."

"You, take a break?" James barked out a laugh. "Right, then I'll see you when I'm old and embittered."

Ava's lips pursed into a thin line, and he took his cue to run. Her hand brushed past his head, and he leaped down the last two steps to head for Dad's coat while he slipped on his shoes. Hands in the pockets, he tossed aside lighters and packets for cigars. He scowled when someone cleared their throat down the hall.

Dad leaned on the archway into the living room.

James ignored him to throw the packets and lighters to the side. Full of vice.

"Is there something specific you're looking for, James?" Dad questioned.

James overturned his coat. "Nunya."

"Looking for these?" Dad flipped the tangle of keys out of his palm. James dug his fingertips into his palm as Dad hid them between his fingers. "I'd appreciate you asked me instead of stealing my keys."

"As if you're ever around to use them," James argued and lunged for the keys, but Dad held them out of reach. "I'd appreciate it if we minded our own business. I stay out of yours, you stay out of mine."

"You shouldn't steal," Dad pointed out and switched the keys into his other hand when James tried to grab them. "You're better than that."

"You don't know me." Frustration licked his elbows and he swiped air when Dad dodged with ease. Atmospheric pressure crushed his jaw against his teeth.

"Next time, ask instead of taking," Dad scolded before twisting the tangle and tossed the keys to the Falae mansion into his hands. "Go on."

"I didn't need your permission."

"No, but you need my keys."

James tucked the keypod into his pocket while Dad picked up the scattered lighters and packets to light a cigar. Smoke tangled in the air with the flickered ember while Dad nearly crushed the butt of the cigar between his teeth with a puff, and he glared at James.

"So I can't steal, but you can smoke in the house?" James snapped. "I don't think you have room to talk." He rushed out of the house to avoid Dad's comeback. His path took him through the forest, on a different track to Rayan's house. Adrift in space, he faltered on the way, outside the park where him and Ava used to play.

Heaviness weighed his shoulders as he slumped onto one of the swings. Notepad empty, bereft of anything meaningful. He dug his finger against his temple and hoped to squeeze something out. It never worked, so he leaned back and swung with the pendulum of emotions beating against his heart.

Maybe I'm frustrated because I've been stuck. He curled his hands around the notepad. Yeah... ever since the quad started I just... can't think. I just need to find a good place to sit and think. Scowling, he forced himself through the blocked tide, full of debris. He checked his wristpad for the time. If I rush, I'll only be a couple minutes late... He sucked in his lips. ... why do I care if I'm late? Hands stuffed in his pockets, he took the scenic route to capture a frozen moment for Rayan to paint his own view of a beautiful world.

He has such an easy time getting stuff on paper. Envy bared his teeth against his throat, but with it came the burn of embers with Rayan's voice while a picture unspoken stroked across his mind. Of a city which touched the clouds and spread light over the planet and stars. He rubbed his temple full of Rayan's voice and belief, but found the path again to forge ahead. The security gate awaited him, and when he swiped the keypod through, it opened without complaint. He stopped to make sure it closed behind him before heading to the front door.

It took a few minutes, but Rayan answered.

"James." He beamed, and James shuffled on his feet when Rayan pulled him in. "I thought you'd be here earlier."

James drew away when Rayan tried to take his coat, but the ember touch filled his mind. "I didn't realise you were timing me," he mumbled, wiping off his shoes to put his own coat on the rack, while Rayan hugged himself with glittered, golden confusion. "I thought you'd know by now that I'm terrible with clocks."

Rayan gave him an awkward smile. "I-I'm not timing you," he stammered. "So... do you have any new pictures today?"

"About that." James brushed back his hair. "I haven't been feeling... great, lately."

"Are you okay?"

James brushed air to the side. "Eh... it happens. I'm sure you know the feeling."

Understanding matched the certainty of the frozen stars when Rayan nodded, but he glanced at the front door. "I thought Ava was going to come."

James clenched his fists. "Ava is a workaholic, if you haven't noticed." He pushed past Rayan, who flinched and continued to give him the wide-eyed, irritating confusion. "She had to make sure everything was perfect for the camp out." He threw his hands into the air. "So... no, Rayan, she's not coming. I'm just surprised she wanted to hang out with us for once."

Rayan's lips pursed. "You... don't sound thrilled about that."

"Thrilled?" James whipped on his heel to face him. "Why wouldn't I be? It's a miracle." He threw his bag onto the couch. "Look, if you want her here that bad, I can go get her. I mean, I might have to drag her desk, her homework, her school council stuff, but hey, I'll manage." He stomped for the door, but Rayan slid in his way.

"James, slow down," Rayan said. "Okay, you've been acting... as weird as Meryn since the camp out." He frowned. "Is... Did I do something wrong? Was it something I did or said when we—"

James bit down the flames on his tongue. "No. No. Why do you think you did something?"

"I-I don't think so? I don't know?" Rayan blinked. "I just... I know what you showed me was important to you... I... I know I said things that maybe..."

That are stuck there, and I can't get them out of my mind. James forced a smile on his face, and breathed deep through his nose. "Listen, I've just been stressing out about Meryn, so I'm not having a great week."

"Well..." Rayan never tried to touch him again. "Mom made a batch of cookies." Uncertainty swallowed the golds as he nudged James back into the embrace of the mansion. "Maybe I can help you with your block? I was looking through the pictures you left here, and I was going to work on Ava's birthday gift. I could use the extra pair of eyes."

He resigned himself to follow Rayan into the kitchen, where a plate of baked cookies waited for them. He held one out to him, and James took it. Chocolate chip. One nibble, and sweetness stretched through his tongue to push down the embers and replace it with fluffy goodness. It crumbled with ease against his lips, and he grabbed another one, causing Rayan to smile.

"It's good, right?"

James nodded and they continued to the basement.

"By the way, if you're struggling maybe you need some peace?" Rayan mused. "I still need to get stuff set up for the party..."

James frowned on his cookie. "Thanks, Ray. We wouldn't have enough room at our house."

"It's no problem," Rayan said. "I'm sorry it isn't a surprise party for you, though."

"Meh." James finished the cookie. "I'd invite myself either way."

Rayan laughed, and the sound lifted the heaviness off his shoulders. "I don't doubt it, but you know." James came to a stop on the step when Rayan carefully lowered his hand to his wrist, where his fingers trembled. "I want you to feel welcome here."

James zoned in on his hand, and Rayan let go too soon into the moment. He swallowed on crumbs, then grumbled, "So, you're working on that picture for her?"

"I was," Rayan said and continued down the steps, awash with defeat. "You can sit anywhere. I promise I won't disturb you while you try to think."

James huffed. "You do seem like the type of person to keep their promises."

"Thanks... I think?" Rayan mused and entered the artist's dome.

James drifted by Rayan's workbench while he fiddled with the panel to adjust the lighting. Every single one Rayan tacked on by a certain theme or mood, with little notes underneath it and attached with starting sketches. Every frozen moment he captured, Rayan expanded deeper into its emotion, its truth. More than what he could do on his own. More than he was ever capable of. James sucked in his lips, trapped by his own mind's refusal to bring a breath of life into them. He hovered over the half-finished sketch of Ava's gift. The mark she spent days on perfecting for Rayan to bring a dream to life.

From the corrections and other abandoned papers, Rayan put the same amount of painstaking effort she had to envision it.

He chose a spot between the workbench and Rayan, who kept his word and made no noise save for the slight motions to put brush to paper. On the floor, he fiddled with his broken datacam and tried to push out his headache while a nebula splattered itself against the projected walls.

I-Pen against his notepad, he tried to write down words. Any words. It never wanted to come when he wanted it to. Stars flew past him, in orbit with Rayan Falae. He tucked into his legs and forced out a few words before the center of the universe caught his attention once more. Drawn to it like moths to light. Or a star to a black hole.

Rayan studied any misshapen lines with thought, not so quick to discard a mistake. Golden stars danced along his features as he ignored him to paint the world. James brought his hands to his eyes to wipe them out. It went silent as he stared down at the blank page.

Into the frozen moments, he almost imagined what Rayan could do not just with his hands, but with his words, surrounded by stars, among the void and endless unknown.

And here I am... unable to change anything.