“Hello Marinette, I’ll be your therapist.” She held out her hand.  It had been about a week since my identity was let out and now, here I sit in a comfy chair in a big square room decorated with house plants and cabinets of files.

It’s been a week and the reporters still wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to have my assignments mailed to me because I couldn’t get to school with out being harassed by a mob of cameras and microphones. Chat had a tough time visiting me through the chaos so I haven’t seen much of him either. My parents still had to work because lot’s more people wanted to come to the bakery where ladybug lives. So it’s just been me, alone with T and Tikki in my room for the most part.

No offence to them but what I really crave is human interaction. I don’t need more reminders on why I can’t live a normal life. Honestly, they're great company but not the company I think I really need.

‘Sorry T, I know you can hear that.’ I quickly apologized.

‘It’s okay, I understand. I don’t think I could deal with a human spirit living in my body either.’

The therapist pulled out their clipboard with paper and settled into their chair. “So, tell me a bit about yourself.”

“O-oh, um,” I dug my nails into my palm, searching for something to say.

“It’s okay, you can take your time. Just tell me whatever you want me to know about you, you don’t have to say or do anything you don’t want to.”

I nodded. “Well, I ah, I was a normal girl up until the beginning of the school year when I became, you know.” I didn’t want to say it. “Well anyways, I then had to balance school work, my personal life and being… well, yeah, I had to do all of that and then last month, I was attacked and kinda kidnapped. Um, he- he tried-.” I took a deep breath, my injury burning at the memory. I held onto it as I continued. “That’s when Chat became an- akuma.” I had to force the word out. “Anyways, I was in a coma and he was trying to, help me I  guess. When I woke up, it was, weird to say the least. Everything had gone quiet and people had turned to stone and he- he targeted people who spoke against me… I was able to stop him though!” I rushed the last part, trying to forget or erase all of the bad.

She just nodded along and jotted down notes. “How did you feel when you were there? Or how do you feel now being there?”

“Oh, I uh, I guess when I was there, I felt small and weak, it felt kind of like a cage even though he always made it clear that I was free to leave whenever and I could come and go as I pleased. Now, I don’t know, it’s changed, it feels warmer there but…” she waited for me to go on. “But it still felt wrong, being there I mean. I know I can overcome that feeling but I can’t right now. I can be in there and be fine but I still remember what it was like, my mind is burned with the memories and I know that even if I can overcome that small fear, I’ll never be able to forget what happened.”

“And that’s okay.”

My head shot up, my eyes meeting hers. “What? What do you mean?”

“That’s your mind’s way of protecting you from the trauma. You were there for a long time and a lot of scary things happened while you were there so it’s only natural for your mind to associate that place with bad things and bring up those memories when you’re there or you think about it.”

“Is that the same for the night’s sky?” She looked at me to elaborate. “It’s just, the first night I was attacked, I remember looking up at the sky as I fell into the river and ever since then I’ll start to shake and cry and just panic everytime I look at it.”

“It is the same thing, that was a traumatizing event and your brain put those things together. You panic because it’s what you saw when you were attacked.” She stood up and walked over to a cabinet. I leaned forward to see what she was doing.
She came back with her arms full of boxes that she sat on the small coffee table between our chairs.

“This is something I like to do with my clients, mainly the younger ones but the older ones like this too.” She motioned to the boxes. “Pick a game.”

My eyes widened in surprise before settling on the piles of games before me. “Um, how about janga?”

“Good choice!” She smiled and set the rest aside. We both sat on the ground and started building the tower of blocks.

“So what's this supposed to do?” I raised my eyebrow as I continued stacking.

“It takes the weight off everything, I’ve found that it helps patients open up more, it makes therapy a little less scary seeming.”

“Oh.” Was all I could think to say as we started deconstructing the tower.

“It’s our first meeting so we don’t need to work on a whole lot now, it will take a while to work through everything but I want to make sure you’re ready first. If you want to start working though it all now, we can but it’s all up to you, you have complete control in this space on how you want to heal.”

I nodded thinking, hesitating before selecting a piece to take out of play. “I think- I think I’m ready to talk about being Ladybug, I’m not sure about the others but I think i can talk about that if it’s alright.”

“Of course, whatever you want to share.”

“Um, well I’m not sure where to start…” I pondered over the past year as I relaxed into the game. “I guess, It’s weird that my boyfr- my friend’s dad has been mind controlling my friends to get my earrings.”

I let out a massive sigh. “I- after a while, everything piled up and when lila showed up with her lies about my alter ego, It kinda started breaking me and that day i was expelled, i think that’s when I really shattered and- and then I was attacked.” My throat tightened at the last bit and I made a wrong move and the tower came crashing down.

At that, I started sobbing, my hands flinching away from where the tower stood.

“Hey, It's okay.” She reassured me. “Look,” I watched as she rebuilt it. “Just like this tower, you can build yourself back up, it’s going to take time and you’re going to need help and support, but you are capable of getting better.”

“I know.” I wiped away my tears. “Sorry, I'm just so used to taking care of everything by myself because I couldn’t really, you know, tell everyone I’m Ladybug.”

“You don’t have to do everything alone, and we can work on trusting and opening up to others.”

I winced at that. “I guess that's unavoidable huh?”

“Mhm! But don’t worry, this is a safe place to practice, both on trust and your board game skills.”

My lips gave a weak smile, my spirits lifted slightly. “Thank you.”

“Of course, now we still have 40 minutes left, how would you like to proceed?”

We talked the rest of the hour away, games were surprisingly helpful to distract myself from panicking over the memories.

When I left the office, my parents were there to pick me up.

“How was it honey?” My mom asked as she walked me to the car.

“It was good, thanks for taking me here.”

“Of course dear, I just want you to be happy.”

The drive home was a comfortable silence. I had my head pressed against the window watching the outside race by, my hand resting over my healing injury.

I know it’s going to take a while, but things will get better, not every day will look as bright and sunny as this one, but I need to remember that even if they aren't there for a while, they’ll always come back and I need to be there to see them.

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Hey! Its been awhile and I'm so sorry, a lot of things happened. So far the pool i was working at closed for the summer, swim team started again, and this was my first week of school so that was hectic. Those aren't the only things but im going to leave it at that. I'm so sorry I took so long, I didn't finish this chapter until this morning in class and have only just started on the next chapter, im trying to tie thing up fast because I really want to focus on school this year, its my last year of high school and I need to start applying for schools. I love this story and promise to finish it, I don't know when the next chapter will be out but ill try to finish and post it soon. Thank you all for sticking with me through all of this, have a great week!