꒰ ☕️ ꒱ ♡ ༘° : Chapter 5
Namjoon Pov

Choked under pressure. Silenced by documents. And suffering underneath a roof over my head.

Sounds like I'm ungrateful, but it's quite the opposite. I'm grateful for everything, just in return I would love to know my past that was robbed from me. Is that too much to question about?

Feeling a pound of fluff on top of me, the smell of hazelnut and maple syrup. The time is: 9:30am. Finding purchase of my cat I hear her purr against my chest, the smile on my face widen. "Good morning, pumpkin" I mumble, holding her close to my chest I crawl out my bed heading for the lion's den. Upon opening the door, I see my parents laughing and cooking.

It warms my heart to be loved, to have parents. But I want my memories that were robbed from me.

Skipping downstairs I put pumpkin down on the floor, my eyes averting to my mother. "Good morning love bug, how'd you sleep?"

"Pretty well, it was really cold last night though" I muster through my cotton throat, my trembling fingers grabbing the orange juice

"It was, I told her it was! But she insists it's to kill the germs" my father groans

Smiling I grab a piece of bacon chewing it, my father works at a morgue, he's an autopsy and my mom believes he's going to bring back some type of disease back. So the air conditioner is so freezing. "You already know why it's cold! And you should be used to it you work in a freezer!!"

Their conversations slowly drowns out in my ears, my mind drifting to reminiscing of the time I spent with Wendy.

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Past pov

Her head on my thighs, the crisp ocean wind blowing through us, the waves crashing into the rocks as the moon kisses the ocean floor.

"You've been real quiet" I comment, her fiddling of my sliver rings comes to a halt. My freehand moving her fringe bangs from her dove skin, "want to talk to me about it?" I cautiously ask her

"Just thinking about what if one of gets adopted, can we still see each other" her voice staggers "will they take both of us?"

"I would fight to get both of taken, but I would also fight to still see you"

Feeling her cheeks rise on my thighs I increase my beam as well, "you would do that, you're such a dreamy person" she taps my thigh aggressively startling me to look at her frame "a shooting star!!" Following her finger, I close my eyes wishing for something.

Why do shooting star wishes take forever to come true? Or are some wishes just out of reach?

"Namjoon??" My mother's voice summons me back to earth, slowly turning my head towards her her face changes from worried to annoyance. Great.

"Namjoon..." she places her hands on the marble counter turning her knuckles red. "You need to let go of that girl, she wasn't any good, plus she made your childhood toxic baby" my nostrils stands up with the hairs on my arms.

Swallow my tongue again? Under the house that's made me feel whole again.

"Whatever, I have to go thank you for the breakfast" placing my dishes in the sink, my father reaches out for my hand, to which I nod my head given him a smile I'm sure masks everything, it works for the longest. Heading for the shower and another day of work.

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Wendy pov

Looking up at the celling I count the screws in my celling fan, I believe I counted them at least twice. Growing frustrated with the lack of creativity and passion inside of me, I throw my cover across the bed. Today is my off day and I can barely do anything. My body just know I'm supposed to do some heavy work. But I can't, opening the door to my bathroom the smell of the clemency air freshener I placed makes me smile.

After my shower I towel dried my hair deciding to finally clean my house after many emotional outbursts, rushed appointments and cramming finals. Luna is laying in the carpet squeezing her toy in between her teeth. "Well good morning pretty girl" I coo at her, the toy immediately drops from her mouth, running over to me, bending to her height she hugs me letting me kiss all over her face and ears.

"Aww honey, honey you're a precious angel" my fingers cup under her chin, booping her nose, she barks "yeah you!" I pout , standing up I grab the broom from the storage closet, to which Luna sticks her head in the closet "there's nothing for you in there missy, you crazy baby" she barks at me before she howls "excuse me? No attitude" I laugh at her continuous barking.

"You got a lot to say huh?" I sweep the carpet first knowing it's the hardest, telling my speaker to play BTS new album. First voice I hear. The voice I've been dying to hear, but through a speaker, through my own ears, with the sounds of tussling leaves, crackle snapped winds. Namjoon. How are ya? Living better than me? You betta, we made a promise you would lift yourself up no matter where you went.

If not I claim bragging rights that I am indeed the strongest friend, and I get to steal your thor necklace.

Pulling out, the matching necklace he gave me of deadpool, I remember the workers got so anger we watch deadpool on our own, knowing the ratings for it, but we could never figure out why it was rated r, we've played video games with the same gore. Smiling I grab the duster, wiping my tv down.

"Modeun bichi chimmukhaneun bada yeah, yeah, yeah" I sing while throwing away the dust in the compactor, Luna jumps on the couch biting on the bone Malik gave her for Christmas, she's my perfect angel.

After cleaning, my body felt pushed to its limit; my hair is now beyond the perfection it used to be, flopping in the couch Luna lays by feet on the couch "hey pretty girl" I coo at her, looking at their performance on the late late show, they so masculine, so strong and superior. You can see how much they've grown out of their insecurities, but they were never shy to open up about their insecurities. I wish I was there to see all of it, to see all the growth, tears and the laughters. Smiling I hear Luna whimper licking my face.

"I was crying? I'm sorry darling" I kiss her head and nose, they're happy tears, but also nostalgic tears. I miss how Jungkook used to always wanna play soccer with me, and he'd lose. Yoongi teaching me piano and getting surprised by me learning the keys in five minutes. Hoseok teaching me to dance when I complained I have "two left feet" then when he saw me freestyle dancing he yelled at me stating " what do you mean you aren't good?!" Taehyung teaching me about different artists back in the renaissance and the expressionism era, us painting outside with so many hues on our clothes and arms. Jimin teaching me ballet , him gettin frustrated with the way I talk shit about myself.

Him squeezing the life outta me yelling "stop saying that!! You can get better!!" , jin helping me improve my cooking skills or has he would say "survival skills" , he always would bring me lunch along with his, because my portions were too small. Namjoon, always watching out for me mentally, while the others watched out for me physically, Namjoon always sent paper airplanes to me while I sat in p.e telling me to write down how I was feeling today or even the day before. Words coming out my mouth weren't as easy as writing them.

Of course Namjoon would know that. Namjoon used to drop of a basket of my favorite snacks to my house, face masks and a card. Namjoon and the rest were the only ones whom cared for me. Namjoon was the only one I've fallen in love with. No he's gone. And I am here. So far away but so close at the same time.

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Namjoon pov

Yawning my head hits the pillow, feeling my cat crawl under my arm, petting her as my eyes close I hear my room door open, deciding to not really hear her rant, I pretend to be sleep. The bed sinks in front of me, feeling hands caress my cheek I also feel a tear fall upon my cheek "I'm sorry my son, I wish I could help, I know how much she meant to you, and I know how much you miss her, because to be quite frank I miss her too, one day I shall find information on her and we can see her together, without your mother's permission, I am your father" his lips planted on my forehead he tucks me in neatly.

Once I hear the door close I place my hand over my  eyes as the tears spill down my cheek.

Fuck...I hope so dad.

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And.... back with the angst lol I've missed you guys how are ya? I hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself. But how you feel about the mom? Do you hate her ? Or do you think she has a reason? But the dad though?! He's super precious.

~if there is a mistake don't be afraid to let me know, for your heart is as pure as the blue sky ☁︎