Kim namjoon, a beautiful man a beautiful name a beautiful soul. Just when when will I meet you again. You were my destined bestfriend you were my destined soulmate. When you left me I was empty. When you were here I was so happy. You were my reason for happiness ,now I'm finally out the system on my own. No family no friends. Just alone.. with my dog.

I smile looking down at her as she chews on her chewing ball,i pet her softly while looking at my screen, huh BTS namjoon? you've always told me how one day you would enter in a band. i'm glad one of us got to live up to our dreams. it's pretty hard to achieve mine,but i'm also scared as well. my dream isn't anything normal like becoming a singer or song writer it's just to find my birth parents. to understand why they put me through this much torment, i didn't deserve this punishment, i didn't need to endure that much pain during young childhood. why couldnt they just keep me? or they didn't love me at all.

sighing i look at namjoon performing with his members rapping tear, and he's putting so much emotion into his craft, i just love how his brain works, i just love how above everything he still keeps a smile and such a bright personality. please teach me your ways.

my phone buzzes me thinking someone actually wants to text me it's just an alert telling me something about my classes will be canceled. i smile at least i don't have to go in to class today that's a blessing. i stand up from the couch walking towards to fridge. i'm pretty hungry but let's see if i even have anything to eat. i swing open the fridge,and see it's pretty empty i sigh then grab the leftovers of mac and cheese and the leftover bag in the rice and shredded chicken. i pour it all in the bowl and heat it up in the microwave.

"someone needs to go grocery shopping" i sigh again, i fill up luna's bowl with her dog food as i see her race off towards it, she's a big girl and sooner or later they're going to need to send me some more dog food for her. luna is my emotionally support dog but i treat her like any other dog. my relatives only contact me just to send dog food. what great people i have in my life.

"here you go baby" i say petting her, i love luna so much she's literally is my life support the only person who actually cares for me and loves me deeply. i smile then the microwave beeps signaling its time to eat, i grab the handle then grab my food,placing it on the counter then sitting in the bar stool. i look back at the screen to see them giving a speech about how grateful they are for performing everyday and putting a smile on army's faces.

im glad too, im really glad you guys are together

☾✦☁︎
namjoon pov

after the performance and accepting our award it was time to go backstage and eat finally, ive been hungry for a while, we get backstage and i sit on the couch, more like flop on the couch. i lean my head back on the couch exhausted and tired from all these dances and rapping and speaking. nevertheless i do love doing what i do. i don't regret anything not one bit. i feel some wind on me opening my eyes i see one of the workers fanning me then another one handing my cold water with a straw in it.

"im good thank you dear" i tell the one fanning me i grab the water and bow at her "thank you", i look at jungkook making everyone laugh just by being him, these boys i love them to death there isnt anyone in this world that i would trade them for i'm thankful for them in my life

i pull out my wallet then look at an old Polaroid picture of her, i do miss her and think about everyday, i always wonder what she's up to, did she ever find a loving home like i did. i just want to know is she happy. yoongi sits next to me and softly rubs my arms up and down "dont worry you'll find her one day, and when you do make sure you impress her with all the states you want to take her to" he jokes

"ha real funny hyung" i shake my head then i grab some of his snacks and pop them in my mouth it's nice to think hopefully that she's thinking of me maybe she is, because of lately I couldn't sleep, the myth goes "usually when you can't sleep someone is dreaming of you" I smile thinking about the possibilities, but I'm going to chase after me dreams, my actual dreams is to find her,to tell her everything how I wished she was on tour traveling with me, hugging her through her bad days. If only.

Some day maybe one day...

Wendy..

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Hello! Welcome to the first official chapter of without me I hope you guys liked it, I know it's short but I wanted it to be cause I wanted to keep y'all hook for the next chapter so yeah ily guys a lot sorry for my absence , I just needed a break from social media it was getting super toxic for me and just making me overthink way to much and making me not want to eat and not taking care of myself mentally and physically so yeah I'm sorry for going mia for literally a week and a half ahaha but thank you for all the support I appreciate each and every one of you