Parker hadn't aged a day. Her curly black hair was tied into a loose ponytail. Her glasses were  still propped crookedly on the bridge of her nose. She was wearing the same outfit she had on when she was killed: blue jeans, a loose white t-shirt, and his maroon bomber jacket. Her stomach jutted out a little. She looked more alive than ever before, with no bags under her eyes and a perfect smile on her lips. 

"You're not real," said Barry. "This is a dream, or a m-memory--"

For every step he shuffled back, she moved forward. Her smile was making her eyes squint, and her hands were stretched for him. She was just as desperate to feel his familiar touch as he was, yet he still denied what he saw in front of him. 

"C'mon, Bar, how is it a memory if I know about Flashpoint? Or if I know that we have a daughter now, because of Flashpoint? Or about H.R.?" she asked. 

Barry bumped into the arm of the couch. He toppled over it without meaning to. By the time he scrambled to sit up straight, Parker was sitting across from him on the coffee table. She was close to him. He couldn't move his eyes from their knees, which were inches away from touching one another. All he had to do was move his knee closer, then he could know if she was real. 

Parker suddenly sat up straight on the table. She tilted her head, then nudged her knee into his. She giggled, her exertion of happiness like Angels singing in Barry's ears. 

He shook his head. "I have to go. You're not rea--"

Parker tackled him onto the couch. She rested her knees on the sides of his waist, hooking her arms around his neck. She smashed her lips into his, tired of waiting. Kiss after kiss, their hands roamed, their lips tingled, they grew closer, until their breath ran out. 

"Tell me that wasn't real," she challenged him. 

Barry had no words. He just moved his face towards her, not close to being done feeling her lips, or her waist, or the softness of her skin on his hands. He hated himself for throwing himself on her. He spent months easing himself from a life with Parker, only to dive into the deep end when he was reunited with her in a way he didn't bother to understand. 

"We're in the Speed Force," said Parker, trying to speak through his constant kisses. "I came back to life in here."

Barry restrained himself and leaned back, brow furrowed. "How...?"

"I can read your mind now," she said casually. 

For his sake, she continued to kiss him and let his hands roam her body. It was in their heads she decided to explain that when she was killed, she was absorbed into the Speed Force, through the mix of Melody's natural touch of it. 

Time wasn't applicable when in the Speed Force, but she assumed she spent a few months chasing a black form through her life. Towards the end, she discovered her father, a physical representation of the Speed Force. He told her she served her purpose on Earth: to help Barry, to do great things for the safety of the world, to be an impact on the lives of those she worked with. He admitted she was pulled from the world a little earlier than planned, but she would still be granted with the ability to hook onto any speedster she pleased. 

"Whatever else he was going to say, he wasn't able to finish," said Parker. She had pulled away from him to catch her breath. "My world flipped when you changed Flashpoint back to how it was originally."

"Got your breath back?" asked Barry eagerly. 

Parker ignored him. Excitedly, she said, "Barry, I am literally one with the Speed Force. I can connect to anyone who is touched by it. I can see through you, or Melody, or Wally, or I even spent some time spying on the Legends. I tapped into Eobard and got to see the end of when Nate and Ray almost didn't become heroes because of George Lucas."

"Didn't he make movies?" asked Barry. He was not truly paying attention to anything she was saying. He heard her, but his goal was to rub his thumbs in slow circles around her hip bones so she would have no choice except to kiss him again.

She slapped his hands from her waist, then leaned against the side of the couch. Her fingers ran across his face, absorbing the feel of his face for when he would have to leave her. He gave up trying to kiss her. He made a new achievement to just watch her. He missed the way she breathed, or the way her nose crinkled. He missed her more being with her than away.

"I discovered the Speed Force lets me hop to different Earth's. I visited your girl Kara for a little while. Her sister had a gay awakening and I lived for it. I saw Winn. He's like our Cisco. And did you know they have a Martian on their team? And some random alien who totally likes Kara, but he hasn't admitted it yet," she rambled. 

"So, you're--"

She pressed her finger against his lips, eyes widening suddenly. Fast, she said, "Oh, shit! I didn't tell you the best part! On one Earth, we aren't even real!"

"What?" 

"We're comics! Or, well, you are. All of you are comics and a TV show. I'm non-existent, which really makes you think, but that was still awesome. I know all about your comic future now," she said mysteriously. 

"Park, slow down," begged Barry, grabbing her hands from waving wildly in the air. "You're telling me you're stuck in the Speed Force?"

She nodded, oblivious to his worried tone. "I can do anything. I can travel to other Earth's, I can go back in time, or go to the future, or see the present through any of you speedsters. It's so much fun in here, Bar, it's just... I just miss..."

He didn't have to guess at what she was going to say. To live in the Speed Force, to listen or watch your family live on without you being able to help would be a punishment in itself. What the Speed Force had presented as a gift for doing her duty tended to be a painful reminder of the old life she had. 

"I went to the future," said Parker, hell-bent on changing the subject. "I saw your face when Melody decides she wants to run track, or when you put together the Justice--"

Barry cut her off. "Wait, that was you when I tried to sacrifice myself."

"Yeah, because you're still dumb."

"You're my own Speed Force ghost."

"That's me, for the rest of eternity," she told him. 

"'The rest of eternity'?" he repeated, appalled. "You're stuck here forever?"

"I don't know that 'stuck' is the best--"

"There has to be a way to get you out of here," he interrupted. He was going into Barry Mode, as Parker referred to it as. The 'I have to save everyone' mentality was reaching her, now. "Maybe if Wally, Jay, and I connect our speed, we can--"

"No, Barry."

He quit speaking to look at her, nose crinkled in confusion. He was offering a chance to return to the Land of the Living, with Team Flash, their daughter, and she was refusing. 

Parker read his mind, then shrugged her shoulders. 

"But... But Mel. Melody needs you. I do. You're my life," he stressed. 

"Your life is what you have in here, Bar," disagreed Parker, resting her hand over his beating heart. She hadn't felt one in a long time. "The Speed Force is your life. I was just a stepping stone to the life you were destined to have. I know that now. I did my part in your story and I get to sit back and watch you live now, with my baby."

Barry's brow furrowed angrily. "You're not even going to try."

"Unlike you, I am a good servant of time and space," snapped Parker. "I'm not changing the future, Barry. We need to keep it on the path it's going. It's imperative."

"You would've made a good Legend," he muttered.

"Already am a Legend. Don't need a spaceship to do it."

He couldn't be mad with her comment. Smiling again, softly, he wondered, "Are you disappointed in me?"

Parker moved her eyes from their interlocked hands to his eyes, for a brief moment. She didn't say much other than hum. 

"I'll take that as a yes."

"You're not listening to me," she struggled to tell him, in the nicest way possible. "It's not fair to everyone else, Barry. Anything in the future you don't like, you change. You've seen what it can do. You made Diggle's daughter into a son when you came back. Your change allowed Dante to die, and Caitlin to have powers."

"But it gave me Melody," he argued. 

"Didn't know you suddenly turned selfish," she said, shaking her head. She was frustrated with the care he had with time and space. "Why would you keep changing the timeline purposely if you know what's going to happen?"

"I can't lose anyone else," said Barry simply.

"You heard the message from future-you, Barry! You know your constant time changes aren't good for the future!" said Parker, breaking her hands from his grasp. "Losing is apart of life. Just because you have an ability doesn't mean you get to weave your way around it."

I can't lose Iris.

"I know you love her. You always have, Bar, but some things you have to let happen," she said, smiling slightly when he forgot she was in his head. She slapped his arm subsequently. "No, I'm not telling you to let her die because I'm jealous, you asshole."

Barry's lips split, unsure of what to say next. 

Parker pushed herself from sitting on him. Irritated, she paced across the rug of the living room and shouted, "I'm dead for, what, five months? And the first time I figure out how to make a magical appearance, you don't even listen to my advice. Fine. I see. Continue doing what you think is right. Don't listen to someone who knows how your life is going to pan out."

"You used Eobard, didn't you?"

"I did, yeah," she agreed, stopping in front of him. "I know what happens to everyone we know, Barry. I know that's going to change drastically if you keep changing the timeline. So, from your super dead wife, I'm asking you to leave it alone. Don't make their lives worse."

"Tell me what happens. Is Iris still alive? Does Caitlin turn into Killer Frost? Does Melody become a hero?" 

"I'm not telling you, Barry, because if you don't like my answer you'll change it," snapped Parker. "Listen, I can't go back. I go back, I change the future, and I don't want to deal with my angst over every stupid choice you make. It's bad enough being up here and not being able to verbally abuse you over it."

"You won't even come back for Mel? If not for me, not even for your daughter?" asked Barry, resorting to his last line of defense: guilt. 

"She'll find me, too, in time," assured Parker.

"But Cisco can't."

That made her pout. "I miss him everyday and I want to huge him and fix all of his problems and sadness that only exist because of you."

"Rub it in some more, would you?"

"Life goes on without me," she decided to say, instead. "You're doing it already with Iris."

His first instinct was to deny. "I'm not--"

"You can't deny, Bar. I'm in your head," said Parker. She forced a smile, speaking through her teeth. "If you think its time to be with her, do it. That's endgame, anyway."

"I didn't notice I was thinking about her like that. You have to know that," begged Barry. 

"I know, baby."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Hell to the fuckin' no," she said without thinking. She then cleared her throat, and smiled again. "But, my love, it is what you're entitled to do. Follow the future, or your heart. Whatever works."

"I don't have to."

"You need someone, Bar. Maybe she's not my favorite. Maybe I think she's useless in Team Flash other than hyping you up, maybe I think it's weird you grew up as her adopted brother, but she's your friend. She's always been there, even before me. She's been a great help to my baby girl. I can't ask for much more."

"You can ask to come back," muttered Barry. 

Parker lifted his chin to kiss her lips. "You need to find happiness in something that isn't related to me. You need to not ever change the timeline ever again, and know that, if you do, I'm in here wishing I could fight you. And you need to take more pictures with Melody."

Barry's shoulders hunched. "You're wrapping up."

"If I had it my way, I'd keep you here forever," admitted Parker, smirking. She pressed another kiss to his lips, longer, this time, because it was unknown when they could meet again.

"Can I find you again?" he wondered. 

Parker took his hand and let him to the door. She placed him in front of it, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her in closer by her waist, forcing her feet on top of his own. He kissed up and down her neck, leaving her lips for last.

"You don't find me," she said quietly, basking in the love he was giving her. "I find you. If you need me, really need me, I can find a way to make myself seen. Just say some magic words and I'll be there."

"I love you?" guessed Barry.

"I was thinking more, 'slob on my knob,' but sure, baby, that works, too."

Barry laughed against her neck. "What if I just straight asked for your help?"

"Either or," agreed Parker, pushing against his chin to kiss his lips a final time. She wiggled from his arms. "I miss you more than you think, kid."

"I love you more than you I ever told you," said Barry regretfully.

"You showed me," insisted Parker, punching his shoulder playfully. "I am proud of you as a father, Barry Allen. Flash, though? You're clearly going up shit creek without me to whack you into the ultimate hero."

"Compliments that come with an insult. Typical Parker Allen tactic," joked Barry.

Her smile widened, closing her eyes to listen to his voice bounce around in her head. 

"I miss hearing it as much as you do."

"I miss knowing that I'm yours," she whispered. When she opened her eyes, he could see her beginning to tear up. "Now, go on, Barry Allen. Go home to our baby. And tell everyone I said hey, yeah?"

He wasn't going to go voluntarily. She knew it without reading it in his thoughts. She gave him a small shove through the flimsy apartment wall, entering him into the portal through time and space known as the Speed Force.