Within the Answers There is Family
"You remind me so much of her," Jim whispered, his eyes sparkling and his smile soft. It was a grin that reeked of pride, yet somehow staying subtle. He was proud, but that pride wasn't really his to claim. Joyce had done the dirty work, knee deep in parenthood while he was oblivious to the fact that he even had a son. Still, so much pride in the young man in front of him.
The entire Christmas break had led up to this moment. The silent treatment that the teenager held over the house wore away slowly. But during Jonathan's two weeks home from New York, he was beginning to acknowledge the fact that Jim Hopper was his biological father. More than anything, it was the drive back to NYU that Hopper had offered Jonathan that brought them closer. That drive came with a quick pitstop at the New York Marble Cemetery; there was someone that Hopper wanted him to meet.
Jonathan ran his hand slowly over the snow-covered granite headstone; reading each engraved word carefully. A sister. He had a sister. Nothing could've ever prepared him for the shock of finding out his true roots. He didn't just gain a father, he gained a little sister who he'd never get to know. Maybe it was less of a gain and more of a loss.
Many parts of the situation he had found himself in had come with pain. Something was missing now; a new wound created within seconds that he'd never be able to fill. The longer he stared at that grave, the bigger the wound grew.
Did he even have the right to grieve? He didn't know Sara, he only knew of her from the one photo he had seen of her placed on the dashboard of Hopper's blazer. Something told him that it wasn't his place to feel sad over her death, but he argued it with the fact that he was grieving the lost opportunity of having a sister. He had Jane, and she was wonderful, but what had he missed out on with Sara?
It was a confusing, muddled mess of emotions and conflict in his mind. Mainly from knowing that he could live for another 70 years and still never know his sister from now until then. No opportunities, no shared memories, just emptiness. It hurt a lot more than he could've ever imagined.
Hopper couldn't remember how things led up to this moment... Scratch that, every single detail was etched in his mind. Maybe it was just his short-term memory that had shut down from the trauma. He didn't remember how he woke up that morning or what he ate for breakfast, but she remembered every breath he took from the moment Sara was diagnosed to the moment her heart gave out. Now, here he was. All these years later, sitting with his oldest at the grave of his youngest.
Jim didn't talk about Sara a lot, presumably because it was just too painful. He did what he could to find a healthy balance between obsessing over the thought of her every minute he could, to not allowing himself to think of her at all. It hurt to think about her, but it hurt more when he wallowed in the sadness of losing her. So, the topic of his daughter was something he primarily kept to himself.
But Jonathan? He deserved to know more about who his family would've been if the stars had aligned correctly. There was a lot of things that he deserved to know, and this was the best that Hopper could do. He couldn't be selfish with the memory of his daughter, neither of them deserved that. Sara deserved better than that, and so did Jonathan.
"Mom told me a little bit about her. In all fairness, Mom didn't really know her either." Jonathan broke the silence, keeping his eyes focused down on the flowers that Hopper had set down at the grave.
"You both would've loved her," Hopper replied. "Everybody did." he allowed himself to smile, trying to focus on the blissful memories rather than the ones filled with agony and tragedy. "She could match wits with anybody."
Jonathan chuckled quietly. "I don't know if that quite sounds like me."
Hopper shrugged. "She was similar to you in a lot of ways. Fiercely protective. A little too protective for a four-year-old who only stood three and a half feet tall. She was too fierce for her own good. Every morning before work, she'd tell me to call her if I needed help taking down some bad guys. The funny part is, she was serious"
"Now that sounds more like me." the teen laughed, finally looking up to meet Hopper's eyes. "Do you... do you think she would've liked me?" he asked, suddenly feeling vulnerable for asking a question like that.
"Absolutely," Hopper replied almost instantly, staring at Jonathan with a look in his eyes that he hoped would ensure his certainty. " Without a doubt in my mind, she would've adored you."
----
"You're back!" Joyce cheered, running into the living room to greet Hopper. She had been nervous about sending the two of them off to New York, seeing how Jonathan wasn't on the best terms with Hopper. Still, it was the best and only option after flights to New York had been canceled.
"I'm back." Jim smiled, taking Joyce's face between his palms and leaning down to kiss her. "Thank you for watching Jane while I was gone."
Joyce leaned her head onto his chest, soaking in the familiarity of his heartbeat thumping underneath her hand. "It was my pleasure. Thank you for making sure he got back there safely. How was the trip?"
"It was... it was good." he grinned contently, realizing that for the first time in a long time, his heart didn't feel so empty. He had Joyce, he had the kids, and he had a lot more closure than he had before. "I think we both needed it."
"Good." Joyce beamed, standing on her toes to reach up and kiss his cheek. "C'mon, we'll have a drink, watch TV, and talk all about it."
"Sounds like heaven."
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