The three of us walked through the almost empty base. Natasha and I flashed our flashlights and looked for anything to help as Steve stared into space. He was honestly no help at all in the matter as soon as we stepped foot on this soil.

We had picked up food from a place known as Wendy's. I got nuggets and a Frosty. The item they called a frosty which was basically just softer ice cream blended in a cup. I shared my frosty with Natasha due to our love for strawberry-flavored things. I had never had ice cream before and was caught off guard by its coldness, it made me jump as I held it in my mouth, making Natasha laugh at me.

I don't even want to know how they got chickens to be nuggets.

"Mr Rogers, are you alright?' I asked the man as he stood in place for a second longer. My accent made alright sound odd, it made me cringe in surprise as well.

He gave me a questioning look before realizing what I meant. "I'm fine." He assured, pushing past me to get to Natasha.

"What exactly are we looking for here?" I inquired, looking for any discrepancies in the area.

"That is a good question young Irena, maybe you should ask Captain Rodgers here," Natasha suggested, clearly as a silent signal to the man to get it together.

"I would but he seems pretty distracted at the moment," I responded.

"Couldn't agree more, get your head in the game Steve even the kid is noticing," Natasha instructed.

"I'm fine, just caught up in something." He explained.

"Well get uncaught," I mocked and shined my flashlight in his face.

"Quit it, kid." He said while he tried to swat at my flashlight.

Natasha snorted beside me which earned herself a glare from the agitated super soldier.

She quickly suppressed a smile but secretly slipped me a fist bump which I returned discreetly.

We continued walking in silence before our eyes fell on a poster of Steve during what was liked to be the 40's. Next to him were multiple men in uniforms who looked determined.

" Hey Natasha, did your friend here meet the man Hitler himself cuz boy that would be a story to tell the grandkids."  I teased.

Natasha looked down to hide her smile and I was relieved when I saw Steve's mouth curl up as well.

"Little widow, you'd be-" He started.

But I didn't hear him anymore. I saw his lips moving but no words came out. I felt dizzy, my face fell and my vision was blurred as I let out a harsh breath of air.

Nat turned to look at me. She gave me a worried expression as she walked towards me with one arm outstretched. Steve looked equally confused but stayed back per usual.

Then suddenly I wasn't there anymore. I felt the pressure of my eyes rolling back into my head. I heard Natasha and Steve's worried yells and shakes but I couldn't move.

I looked around at my new surroundings. I was ashamed to admit that I was scared. I was in a poorly lit room with targets and a gun in my hand. I felt shorter and the gun felt heavier than usual in my hands.

"Well done my little widow!" A male voice congratulated over a speaker.

No.

"No," I mumbled but I didn't really, not where I was.

I know that voice. I had just risked my life to escape it.

Dreykov stepped into the room and took my cheeks in his hands as he placed a kissed onto my head.

"No!" I yelled this time, violently shaking my head.

"Irena what's wrong!?" Nat frantically asked. I felt her shake me but I couldn't react.

What the hell was this? It was like I was looking at a memory I don't remember living. My heartbeat roared in my ears while my breathing became ragged and struggled.

And just as fast as it started, it was over. I was back in New Jersey where my ass hit the floor as I fell back.

I breathed heavily, trying to catch my breath. Shortly after I hit the ground Natasha was there with me, rubbing my shoulders in a nurturing manner I wasn't used to.

I shook her off once again, attempting to get up. I wobbled as I stood. Moisture by my ears caused me to bring a hand up to them. When I brought my hand back down I was met with blood. I grimaced at the sight.

"You alright kid?" Nat questioned, raising an eyebrow in the process.

"Fine," I answered while I cleared my throat.

"What the heck was that?" Steve asked, bringing down his phone and stuffing it into his pocket.

I was embarrassed enough as it was, I just showed the most vulnerability I've shown in years and I didn't need him recording it.

"Did you, um.. zapisyvat' me?" I pressed, my eyes shooting lasers at the man as he looked to Natasha for translation. (record)

"We did it to show S.H.I.E.L.D, no one else's eyes will meet it except theirs." Natasha assured me.

I debated asking how many people "theirs" was but decided against it and just answered his question.

"I do not know that's never happened before." I started. "It was like a memory but I don't remember ever being where it happened or even that happening."

Natasha looked grim. "It was the from the Red Room, wasn't it?" She eyed me.

I nodded. "But I don't remember it."

"That's weird, are you sure it's never happened before?" She double-checked.

I nodded, thinking back to confirm. "Positive."

"You good to keep going?" Rodgers confirmed.

"Of course, that was nothing." I insisted, they honestly think so lowly of me that it's sickening.

"Perfect, because this is a dead end, zero heat signatures, zero waves, not even radio." She announced, pulling her device away from the sky.

I still hadn't fully recovered from whatever that was. As Natasha waved around her little device like a maniac I bent myself back into shape. You think later, this is silly.

Steve averted his gaze from me to Romanoff and then to something behind her.

"What is it?" I pondered.

We were walking before my question was even asked. Rodgers, Natasha, and I strutted towards an ammunition house in front of us. " Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within 500 yards of the barracks." He finally acknowledged me as we walked.

"Which means this one is out of place." I finished for him.

"Exactly." He affirmed before using his shield to smash into the handle.

ⴵ

"So this is S.H.I.E.L.D," Nat says in an amused tone.

We all stepped into a room with empty cubbies. The only things left were photos on the wall of two men and a woman.

"There's Stark's father." Nat pointed out.

"Who's the girl?" I asked innocently, still being met with the usual silence as he walked off.

I turn to Natasha with an annoyed look painted across my face. "I don't think he likes me very much," I suggested quietly as he looked around.

"Don't worry, he's not always like this." She spoke up. "He's just taking this whole thing too hard y'know?"

I nodded in response and continued to walk around and look for anything out of the ordinary. No, I didn't know but I pretend I did. I think Natalia and I knew much worse.

Me and Nat were walking side by side when Steve abruptly stopped in front of us. He looked around on a certain bookshelf before looking at us.

"If you're already in a secret office," He stared while getting a grip on the sides of the shelf. He pushed it open with a grunt, revealing two doors and the end of a small hall.

"Huh." I breathed out in surprise and some impression.

"Then why do you need to hide the elevator?" He rhetorically questioned.

In my opinion, he didn't need the end statement. The moment was done and it was just plain cheesy. I rolled my eyes as I attempted to walk in before Natasha pulled me back.

I looked back at her with a questioning glare.

"It might have traps." She reasoned.

"Then I'll get trapped and you guys go," I replied sarcastically with a fake smile.

This time Natasha rolled her eyes as she pushed me to the side and walked in. I walked in after her and Steve took the back. She used a kind of device to decipher the code on the keypad.

"What is that that is so cool!"  I asked, my enthusiasm genuine.

"Gift from S.H.I.E.L.D." She answered, showing it to me as the elevator dinged.

We walked inside and rode in silence. It opened to a completely black room.

"We'll isn't this just a one-way ticket to death." I scoffed. "I volunteer to test it."

I walked forward with a shrug before any of them. I earned myself multiple curses from the adults.

"Irena don't!" Natasha hissed.

Steve lunged forward to grab me but I was quick to avoid his grasp. I walked slowly, my gun in my hands as I crept. Not long after Nat and Steve joined my side.

As we got deeper in the chamber we could see the distant lights of what looked to be buttons. Suddenly the lights flashed on around us. I spun around towards to doors with my finger on the trigger ready to fire

"They're automatic relax" Nat assured me as she placed hand on my bicep to calm me.

I gave an unsure look at the door before turning back around.

"This can't be it, this technology is ancient." She said, clearly confused.

I moved my eyes all over the room before it whirred to life. Everything was turning on, beeping, blinking, or rotating. I looked in front of me to see a sort of silver stick object sticking out of a rectangular device on the desk.

"Activate system?" A voice spoke from the computer.

I scrunched my face in confusion and tilted my head. Did the computer just talk? This modern technology was so distant to me as we didn't have it in the Red Room.

"Y-e-s, spelled yes." She said as she typed.

The computer made another known as it activated, I assumed.

"Shall we play a game?" Natasha said in a deeper voice with a smirk.

"Um, not now no," I replied. I didn't really think now was the time for games considering we were on a mission.

She looked at Steve then at me and elaborated.

"It's from a movie that was pop-."

"I know I saw it." Steve interrupted in a rude tone.

"Well I haven't," I told the woman.

"We'll watch it when we get back." She winked at me.

I gave her a small smile back. The camera that was positioned on the top of the computer slowly moved upwards.

It moved over to Steve, focusing on his features. "Rodgers, Steve. Born 1918."

I snapped my head back in surprise. "What the heck?" I exclaimed.

"Ivanakof, Irena, Liesel. Born 2001, also known as generation-." It voiced before being cut off by Natasha who hit the device.

Steve eyed Natasha's sudden movement to stop the computer.

"Romanova, Natalia, Alianovna. Born 1984." It finished.

"It's some kind of recording." Natasha reasoned.

"I am not a recording, Fraeuleint." It replied. "You are standing in my brain."

My eyes widened. How did his brains get into a computer? America confused me.

"Irena go towards the back and search for anyone who might be feeding into this," Nat instructed.

I nodded and turned to go to the back again with my gun drawn. What did the computer mean by generation ? And why was Natasha so urgent to stop it? I hated being left alone with my thoughts now. At least with the whole mind control thing I didn't think like this.

Natasha and Steven's voices drifted into the building. I could tell they were trying to whisper but it echoed slightly. I've always had excellent hearing so all I did was creep towards the front slightly after realizing that clearing the back perimeter was a ploy to get me away.

"She was an experiment for testing the super soldier serum they injected it into children so they grew up to be weapons," Natasha whispered. "I was one of the few widows assigned to observe and keep her safe, I basically raised her from 16 until I was 20, I even picked her name."

The world around me slowed. I couldn't have been, I would've remembered it. She's lying to him. Why was she lying?

"You're lying!" I yelled as I jumped out of my hiding place.

Natasha and Steve whipped around in surprise. "Irena I-" She started.

"Don't." I snapped coldly. "Why are you lying to him?"

"She's not lying child." The computer said.

I looked at it and then to Natasha. I felt a ball in my throat from rage but quickly swallowed it. "Tell me everything," I demanded.

Her lips formed into a line and she breathed in. "You were selected from a group of infants to be injected with the same serum used on The Winter Soldier, your mother was payed off and you were property of the KGB at 2 months old. The goal was for you to grow up with enhanced abilities and be used for elite missions." She started.

She looked down as she spoke. "You were about six years old when it ended."

I felt my breath hitch. I knew they were horrible but that horrible?

"No," I said again, shaking my head and swallowing hard. "You're lying, I would've remembered that and I don't remember anything."

"The experiment was shut down before you could receive the fourth dosage. In my opinion, it would've killed you, even if they were each half doses that would have equaled two full vials coursing through your veins." She finished.

My mind was spinning. "So you lied when you said you didn't know me. You had every opportunity to tell me and you didn't!" I yelled.

In the past 8 hours I've known Natasha I was actually starting to warm up to her. I felt safe around her and now I don't know what to think.

"Because you don't remember it" Natasha replied. "They wiped your memory of it for your safety and others."

"You still could've told me." I countered.

"No, I couldn't have, I didn't mean for you to find out like this or at all."

I swallowed hard. "So you let them test on me, a child?" I asked, my voice broke slightly as I felt my eyes pool with tears that I quickly blinked away.

Get a grip this is stupid, soldiers don't cry. I straightened my back and cleared my throat.

"I didn't have a choice, you know that." She shook her head apologetically.

I laughed at this. I knew she didn't really have a choice but I hoped this made her feel worse.

The whole time we were arguing Steve was talking with the machine who talked back. I didn't even break eye contact with Romanoff when Steve punched the computer.

"Irena I'm sorry it's haunted me ever since, there wasn't one day I didn't think about it."

I brought my hands to my head, smoothing my hair in an attempt to calm myself down.

I sniffed. "So I suppose you know what happened out there?" I assumed.

"Not formally no, but I'm guessing it was a memory that was coming back." She guessed. "Since you're not under the influence of Dreykov anymore they're starting to come in flashes."

I was across the room from her but I fought the urge to actually fight her this time. I knew I should have some sympathy as she didn't have a choice and she was willing to take me under her wing but this still hurt.

"When I escaped getting you out crossed my mind." She admitted.

"Why didn't you, you knew what they're like!" I snapped.

"Because I-" She attempted to reason before being cut off by her device beeping rapidly.

Her face dropped as she checked the device. "Steve, we got a bogey." She informed him. "Short-ranged ballistic, 30 seconds tops."

I looked at both of them expectantly. The doors had closed and we were underground with no windows. We were gonna die in here.

"Who fired it?" He asked, looking stunned.

Nat's face turned grim. "S.H.I.E.L.D."

"I'm afraid I have been stalling captain." The computer said while Nat raced for the hard drive. "Admit it, it's better this way, we are both of us, out of time."

"Irena over here now!" Nat yelled.

I bolted towards them. What the hell difference did it make if I was near them were gonna die anyway?

Natasha ran towards Steve and he took hold of her, tucking her into his arms. I jumped for them as they started to turn away from the roof and into a vent, Steve had opened up.

"Natasha!" I yelled with my arm outstretched.

She reached for me through the arms of Steve who held his shield above their heads.

"Steve grab her!" She yelled.

He obliged and reached out to grab my hand. I felt the tips of his fingers grab mine before I was blown backward. I heard him grunt as he lunged for me while holding up his shield and trying to keep Nat tucked under him. I made eye contact with the Romanoff woman, her eyes were wide with fear as she waited to see me in his arms.

I never ended up in them in time. He held my hand still and eventually I was pulled into the vent as they fell into it. I brought my spare arm over my head knowing it would do little to nothing for me. I felt Steve try to pull me forward and eventually after enough struggle he managed to, but only after the majority of the blast had happened.

I felt myself losing consciousness as Steve passed me to Nat. She held me before her grip went limp.

I blinked my eyes, struggling to keep them open and I heard Steve yell while he pushed up the tons of rubble above us.

"Nat get up." He whispered.

I made sure I felt her move before I let myself rest. I didn't know why but it felt right. She squeezed me in her arms, I assumed it was to confirm I was still there. She held me close as I let finally let myself go limp.

"She's out Steve." She said. It sounded distorted in my ears as I fully left consciousness. 

That hurt like hell.

───˖ ࣪ ˖ ࣪✦: * ˚ ✦ ───
2945 words ~ 3:25 pm
November 16th 2023

Ellie's words!! IMPORTANT PLS READ

-I jst wanna add that Irena is deeply internally struggling to process her own thoughts now that she's out of the mind control. She thinks one thing cuz she was taught it was right but her own child mind is thinking other things for itself for once and she has no idea how to deal with it. She also has multiple sides to her one personality, sometimes she'll be rough and cold and sometimes she'll be cute and innocent. I made it like that so it represent how desperately her child personality is trying to come out and take over but how she learned how to be in the Red Room is to strong. Sometimes her thoughts will be italicized and sometimes they won't. Happy readin