3-27-16
Your lips are my heroine,
Your scent is my cocaine,
Your laugh and your smile puts a feeling in my chest as light as the clouds,
But also takes all of the oxygen out of my system.
I want to give you every piece of me.
You're everything I need,
You're all that I want,
Love, that's not gonna change.
- (m.m)

3-28-16
I think I need a doctor,
I need a rehab,
for the thoughts I keep having
Before they push me over the ege.
I need some sort of medication,
But I already have that,
And that's you, music, and writing-
And that's all I fucking have left these days.

When I awake to bright white and people rushing around,
I'll wonder what the hell happened,
And I'll remember what I threw away,
But this side of my emotions keeps sinking me further and I think it'll kill me someday.
I don't want out but I want out, you know?

There's a certain heaviness that you walk with when your thoughts are hazy, dark, and sleep deprived.
I think people see that, and that terrifies me
Because if I can't face it myself,
No one else should be able to see these emotions, either.

They don't understand that I'm fine, I'm perfectly okay,
Because with what goes on in this head,
I see this shit everyday,
I know how to handle it.
It's so hard to explain that this doesn't drag me as a person all the way down,
It's just a side of me,
It feels alien,
Like it's not me doing this, thinking this,
I'm still a good version of myself.
I'm just being possessed,
I'm having these thoughts but they're okay because I'll make it out alive,
I'll take today for today and I don't know what happens tomorrow.
It's okay because what happens today doesn't have to merge into tomorrow, today is today, tomorrow is tomorrow, I won't look back.
Is that irresponsible?
Should I be living less recklessly?
Is this an okay way to think about this?
- (m.m)
Okay holy shit that got messy but I can't organize it, I don't know how to word this in a good enough way.

3-28-16
I like photography,
Because it creates a sweet escape for me.
It's a real fantasy,
It's a real different world,
It's a real character in a real story
That's not my own.

Sometimes the things in my head start to make me question my sanity.
Like how many people do you know have people and things and sights to see and an entire fucking universe inside of their head of their own creative pleasures?
And maybe that's why it's important for me to touch these other realities,
Because I know they exist, and nobody can deny that of me.

Maybe I'm not crazy,
Maybe I'm just a writer.
- (m.m)