2-11-16

Let's extend every second we have to an hour and call it a forever.
-----
I'm apathetic,
Everything just feels gray, every wall is the same texture, every emotion is watered down.
I hate it.
I know,
Baby,
I know-
That deep down, resting underneath this empty space,
I like you.
Fuck,
I like you so much more than I should.

But I can't see that color
Because a panel of dissipated color stands in the way.

I'm not feeling like myself
But maybe music at its highest volume can cure it.
But maybe nothing fixes this feeling..

The realization of it makes me sick,
Makes me want to throw up my dinner,
And god, I thought I'd be over this.

I'm empty.
All of this inspiration I have felt dancing through my veins these last few weeks has run out.
I'm a poet,
I study the world and take in everything,
Knowing that even your worst emotions can be made into art.
I hate not feeling anything.
Being a blank canvas scares the hell out of me.

I just want to feel connected to loving you.
I just want to feel something
Because temptation doesn't
Sit pretty and do nothing-
Not when you're calling to it
To paint your walls,
And change the beige to
Colorful halls.
I think he likes the color red
Because that's the color he talks about
When he mentions death.
Ain't it funny how fitting that feels?
Ain't it funny how it doesn't feel real?
- (m.m)

This is shitty but enjoy some musings of the empty shelves of my head.