1-28-16
I'm terrified of tomorrow,
The next three years,
What happens when I die.

The future scares me,
It's got me right where it wants me.

Will I see heaven?
Or will my life down here be as close to it as I get?
What if religion isn't my redemption?
What if I go to hell?
What's it like to eternally suffer?
It's a choice I have to make,
One that can't be undone when it's too late.

What if I die tomorrow?
Will it finally be enough to end my sorrow?
What if I meet my worst nightmares when I'm stumbling through my life?
What if I never get to venture out of these roots to see bright city lights?
What if I'm really just being naïve, thinking this way?
What if I'm wasting time writing about these things?
What if I should get out of my head and catch up to the world and "grow up"?
What if these dreams won't ever exist anywhere outside of my imagination?
What if they're right?

It terrifies me.

I over think all of it.

But only because it matters.
- (m.m)