7-2-16
I can't stop shaking,
We know where this road ends.
Maybe I'm mad that
I actually thought
You wanted me
And i assumed
You were sober.
I'm choking,
Don't suffocate me like that.
You're not here
But I don't know
Who else's hands are at my neck
(Oh its so desirable to slip into this feeling like its a fucking sleeping bag)
I want to feel hazy,
I want to forget you.
I want to feel pain that makes my thoughts of you light and slow.

BECAUSE MAYBE THE BLOOD WILL LOOK A LITTLE MORE LIKE YOUR EYES. I NEED TO GO HOME. YOU TRIP ON YOUR MISTAKES AS YOU RUN DOWN MY STAIRCASE BUT I'M TRIPPING ON SOME SUBSTANCE FROM MY MOTHER'S MEDICINE CABINET, TELL ME WHICH IS FUCKING WORSE. (YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER, LOVE.) I TRY TO PULL YOU BACK BUT I'M STUCK TO THE WALL AND I THINK YOU TIED ME HERE. I WATCH YOU LEAVE AND MAYBE YOU'RE NEVER COMING BACK AND THERE'S SO MUCH TRUTH BETWEEN THESE LINES OF DARK MORBIDITY. HOW DO YOU DO THIS TO SOMEONE? I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT HONEST WITH YOU, I'VE GIVEN YOU WHAT I HAD. PIERCE THE VEIL IS A BAD IDEA WITH ITS LYRICS SOAKED IN YOU BUT WHERE ELSE DO I GO? MY HEARTBEAT FOLLOWS THE DRUMS AND I TAKE THE HEAVIEST SONG I KNOW AND PLAY IT UNTIL MY EARS BLEED AND I KNOW YOU LOVE DARK THINGS AND I'VE BEEN THINKING TOO FUCKING HARD ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THIS WEEK HAS LASTED A MONTH I'M SCARED TO SEE YOU AND YOU'RE ALL THAT'S IN MY HEAD AND I'M SLEEPING TOO MUCH AGAIN IT'S SO HAZY. YOU USED TO STOP THE SHAKING IN MY FINGERS, I FUCKING NEED YOU LIKE OXYGEN RIGHT NOW. OH GOD I WANNA SINK TO THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL, TAKE A BRICK AND WAIT FOR MY LUNGS TO GIVE UP. I THOUGHT I WAS FINE TODAY BECAUSE TODAY HAS HARDLY BEEN 12 HOURS OF MY EYES OPEN BUT I'M NOT. I'M NOT OKAY. AND YOU TEXTED ME AND I SHOULD FEEL A LITTLE MORE AT PEACE BUT I JUST WANNA FORGET AGAIN AND FUCK I HAVE TWO DAYS AHEAD OF ME THAT I CAN'T FACE.
- (m.m)

I find comfort in writing as darkly and as morbidly as I can right now also scream poetry is so therapeutic. So I'm sorry if my poetry gets really heavy like this for awhile, we'll see what happens.