6-6-16
Taking those back roads,
Driving on dirt with nervous fingers.
You smoked and messed with the radio repeatedly,
Skipping tracks,
Looking for rap that feels the way we feel.
I missed the smoke,
I missed you.

You laugh as you write checks to that shit mom we've got miles away  (were both home right now, though; we're both away from her)-
Ones that she can't even cash,
You don't have the money in your account.
You don't owe her shit, you say, and I don't disagree.

I play through those summers with you at the ranch-
I remember the holes in the walls,
Covered by paintings in your room.
I remember nights outside,
With firework bombs that weren't successful.
I remember your laptop,
You playing Runescape.
I remember you stopping by that one night,
And somehow the lights got brighter in the kitchen at midnight as you dropped groceries on the counter.
Now, you're talking to me on a bridge about your life,
Everything I've missed whilst losing myself in the oblivion.
Ignorance is bliss and I've got this thing for misery.

And this goes out to my brothers back home,
Who taught me everything I need to know about family,
Back when my dad was there physically but not emotionally (it's /functional/ but in a way, it isn't. And materials don't buy me home)
And the shouting and screaming and chaos within the walls at mom's place showed my demons how to dance with me violently.
You guys raised me better than any parents I've had,
I've got unconditional love for you.
Trust me, someday I'll pay the bills with these poems somehow,
And I'll send money back home.
Home to you.
Not home to mom, not home to dad, not home to the missing relatives in my life.

Thank you.
- (m.m)

^yesterday

Brother 2/5, only two of my brothers I'm close to (it's kinda complicated) and I've talked about one of them in my poetry and this is the other one. I love love love this and him and everything, I'm contemplating sending it to him (there's another stanza, but it's more personal so I'll leave that in my notes haha).

Also thanks for reading i love you