| Eleanor |

You think you're so freaking confident and as soon as you're smack dabbed with a guy in a room. . .every ounce of it disappears.

Like it did from me.

The click of the door kind of caught me off guard and I whipped around , my heart thudding hard.

"Why did you do that?" I asked glancing at the bolt.

Why the lock? Why were we getting locked together?!

He had turned around, the keys jangling in his hand. At first he didn't get it and then he follwed my gaze which was stuck on the door.

Ryan slipped the keys back in his pocket.

"Relax. I don't want to be disturbed. You're safe with me rather than without me , Eleanor." He raised an inky brow.

He always made me feel safe but. . .his figure was just making me think indecent thoughts! Like kissing his bruised lip!

While he was walking and talking in a smooth manner, I couldn't for the life of me, understand the volcano of emotions ready to tumble down with a slight push.

I couldn't look away from him as he walked in , rubbing the back of his neck and—blue eyes caught me staring at him so unabashedly.

"Sit down. The bed won't bite." He gestured at the made up bed.

I glanced at it. The black sheet , cushions made up , blanket folded. . .

"You won't seduce me on the bed right?" I asked right away not looking at him.

I heard a gentle chuckle.

"What?"

I looked at him, he had folded his arms across his chest . .his biceps making an appearance. And it got me suddenly. .the word flashed in my head.

Sexy.

He was oozing the sexy aura.

"You know," I shrugged." Like how it happens in movies and shit. Get the girl on bed and smooth talk the crap out of her and then—,"

"Kiss her." He ended the sentence, his eyes litting up with amusement at seeing me so. .freaked out.

My eyes turned into slits.

"And worse."

He nodded, biting his lower lip to hide his smile.

"Let me assure you, I have no such intentions to ravish you. At least not today."

"What do you mean not today?" My voice got loud.

Ryan laughed and then winced.

"Get seated , thick head. I may not sound like one but I'm an honourable man." He placed his hand over his heart , standing on the middle ground of rouge and handsome.

All I knew was , he was making me feel things. . .I had never felt before.

Muttering incoherent stuff, I walked towards the bed and sat down right on the edge.

If he noticed, he didn't comment.

Seemed like he knew his way around because the first thing he did was go towards the wardrobe, open it up and snatching a random shirt.

"My family own half the share of the this club. This room is mine and you're the first one to. .grace it."

I. . didn't hear a word he said.

Because. .

I have never had the pleasure to witness a man slipping down a shirt and . . .it had to be one of the hottest thing on earth.

Muscles.

All I saw were muscles flexing.

And I had to look away because damn-i couldn't look down from his body! My cheeks were blooming!

Done with a gray shirt, he rummaged through the wardrobe and got a first aid box out.

"Willow said you were dying."

His hands stilled for a second.

"I was . .close to it." He said now placing the box back and shutting the wardrobe.

He had an ointment in his hand.

"Close to it? Excuse me?" I really didn't like his casual way of throwing around the word.

Ryan walked towards—me.

Every cell in me was aware of his presence. .

He occupied the space beside me, except he was on the bed while I was on the edge.

"It was a stupid club fight. Nothing much. It was kind of her to notice my state ." He said softly, now applying the ointment on to his lower lip.

"No it wasn't " I couldn't help but say it, his blue eyes snapped on to my face.

"You want me dead, Eleanor?" He asked me in a silky voice.

"What if I want to?" My voice was low.

He leaned towards me, eyes not breaking contact and I loved it! Loved him being near to me! All over me!

"Say the word and watch it happen." He voice steely, his lower lip looking fuller than usual.

"You didn't acknowledge me for one week! Why should I care if you die?" I let it out. Whatever was rotting in my heart, I let it all out . .my tone acidic.

His gaze slipped from my eyes to my mouth and he didn't budge from there.

"I had to." He whispered.

And I rolled my eyes with his one line answer. I hated it when he did that! Like he expected me to understand when I knew nothing!

So, I tried to get up from the bed but I couldn't because he wrapped his hand around my wrist, stopping me.

"Let go—,"

"I had to because it's addicting. You taking a stand for me is addicting and I don't want added addictions."

Stopping my struggle, i glanced down at his large hand touching my skin.

"Just how many are they?"

He tugged at my hand, pulling me down. Making me sit down in front of him.

Quietly, I occupied the bed like he did.

We were facing each other, cross legged, our joined hands between us, him sliding his fingers through mine.

I was waiting for him to speak . .

"I have been an addict." He started, his eyes fixed on our hands, " a drug addict and no not anymore. It's been three years to my sobriety." Ryan looked at me, his eyes so vulnerable and raw ,"I don't want to talk about it. .there isn't much to say except I fell through shit , Eleanor and I got around it. I had days when . .I would ask God if there is an end to this? If I could breath again? If I could be. . happy again? We ask the corniest questions from God when we hit bottom." His smile was hollow, haunted.

And I had to ask.

It was right on the tip of my tongue.

"What. . .what happened to you, Ryan?"

Blue eyes kept staring at me like they would never look away. .

He opened his mouth—and then shut it.

Swallowing hard.

His grip on my hand tightening.

"Being brought up in an abusive household, it does wonder to a child.", His voice was dark." It's astounding how abuse have many forms and I. . I'm a victim of mental abuse. It starts with condescending words and morphs into a child's worst nightmare. I wish I could say I didn't follow up on the steps of my abuser but. . I became my worst nightmare."

I shook my head. "No. You're the kindest person I have ever met."

Ryan smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. .he tried to let go of my hand and I protested.

"Stop-,"

"Shhhh," he shushed me as he let go of my hand and then ever so gently cupped my right cheek.

"You think highly of me and I don't blame you for it. You don't know what I did. You promise yourself you won't become what happened with you and you couldn't be more wrong than that. I was being abused. Knowing what you say will be twisted and jeered at, it unleashed the anxiety in me..... and I turned into a nightmare for my little brother. I cut him out, left him alone. You know what happens when your pillar of support vanishes? You die. I killed my brother, Eleanor and I die everyday because of it."

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