| Eleanor |

I had accepted one truth right away.

Ryan wasn't just a Ryan.

He was the Ryan Harrison I had been oblivious to. It took me some time to realize he had a frickin' building, a mall and so on.

And I, Eleanore Paige, had been dim witted to acknowledge the glaring truth. It wasn't my fault. I was the sort of a person who took time alright? Brad Pitt could pass by me and it would take one hour for me to register that.

People like me existed.

The second sun peeked out , I had hightailed from his place like my tail caught fire.

It wasn't my tail per se.

It was my heart.

I knew if I didn't get out , I would combust. Lit up the whole place with fire or emotions or . .I don't know. All I knew was. .I kind of wanted to stick around him.

Spread my tentacles around him.

And never let him go.

Ugh!

My thoughts didn't make sense . All of these jumbled up emotions were scaring me. And it forced me to insult him now and then.

Using a reverse psychology hack, if I insulted him enough then I wouldn't feel so. .dazzled around him.

Ryan. .he dazzles me with his smiles and charm. .the ocean in his eyes. .the tug of his lips. .the sadness in his soul. .he was too much and I wanted all that much.

Last night, he had been a gentleman enough to let me sleep on his bed while he occupied the couch. And yes, being a borderline curios person, I sneaked around his stuff . .but couldn't find much.

Now that I was in my dingy apartment with a cup of coffee in my hand, I reflected on what we shared.

Let out.

I . . I had never told anyone about my unusual relationship with my mother. Hell, I hadn't even accepted the fact to myself let alone a person. Maybe I liked being in denial of the fact that I could never be the daughter my mom wanted. She was dainty, feminine. .poised while I? I was just. .me.

Rough on the outer edges.

There will always be a glass wall between us. I could see her on the other side but I couldn't touch her or get to her and it was heartbreaking but now. .now that I was an adult, it didn't hurt much.

Everyone carries  a weight the others don't understand.

I smirked at his voice.

And then frowned at his submission. No wonder he had such sad eyes because he had gone through something dark as depression which I had never went through.

Sitting up straight, I couldn't help but think of how he didn't give me all of his secret. He gave me a crumb of it.

Not the whole cookie.

And I didn't prode him further.

Maybe another time when we are trading secrets.

Ryan always made me feel like I knew him but the fact was, I didn't know him. At all. He was successful at manipulating people around him into thinking what he wanted to.

Was him manipulating a bad thing?

I sighed leaning back.

All the heavy duty questions floating in my head . . .

Right now , I had him and that's all that mattered.

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"Tell me you're going."

I gave her a stink eye.

Walking down the pavement , we were doing what broke girls did on their day off.

Window shopping.

We passed by some fancy glitzy stores and acted like we're about to buy an item when the sales girl would greet us inside.

The fake act that mediocre people had to put on for the rich world.

Licking my chocolate chip ice cream, I was eyeing Willow's cone which seemed to me constructed of vanilla—

"—and I'm meeting his parents next week." She gushed.

Wincing at the sudden punch of cold on my teeth, I tried not to kill her vibes by being Morticia Addams but a friend got to do what a friend got to do.

"Err, don't you think you're moving way too fast?" I tried to be considerate.

"What's their to consider? I love him. He loves me. That's enough for me." She sounded so confident.

"Lets just hope his family is not racist since he's all white male." I chomped on a glob of goodness in my mouth.

Willow actually paused like what I said hit her.

"Move!" Someone barked from behind and we started to walk again.

"What was that about?" I asked her now regretting my big fat mouth because the girl didn't seem to be in the mood for ice cream.

The liquid dripped down over the cone.

"Nothing just. .yeah. what you said. .I did face it with my first boyfriend."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so insensitive and—"

"No , it's fine, Eleanor. Their is white supremacy and being a black person, I have to be aware of it."

Now, I didn't feel like eating ice cream.

"Marky seems like a good guy." I bumped my elbow with her, trying to lighten up her mood.

And she did give me a half hearted smile and then it disappeared. In a second! Making my heart dip down—

"Willow—,"

"I gotta pee! Hold this!" She shoved the half eaten ice cream in my hand and went barreling in to the nearest store while I gawked.

What the—

"Fudge!" I shook my hand, making the ice cream drip everywhere and then I dumped the both of half eaten cones in the bin.

Licking my fingers clean and not at all giving a damn about people giving me looks, I stood by the store waiting for my friend to come out.

Leaning against the wall, I had no job but to stare around lazily. Spotting an old couple crossing the road , watching a beefy man munching on chips and Ryan walking.

Ryan!

Standing up straight, I stared at the man ,who lately seemed to be my guilty pleasure at night, walking in hurry. He was on the other side of the road.

And. . . something felt wrong.

He looked on edge, rushing behind a teenage boy.

Breathless , he tugged at the back of his shirt. Taking handful of his cloth and forced him to whirl around!

And shit! I had seen this boy somewhere.  .I couldn't pinpoint where exactly but I knew I had seen him—

Ryan held him by his shoulders, his face earnest . .almost desperate. Talking to him.

The boy had a frozen face—

I gasped when he ripped Ryan's hands off of his shoulders and pushed at his chest!

He staggered back one step.

The aggression so palpable.

He raised a finger in warning and Ryan looked like he broke down right there . .like the boy was taking the life out of him.

I couldn't take it anymore.

Rushing towards the road, I didn't wait for the honking cars. I made them wait as I arrowed through the cars , reaching towards him like a maniac.

The second I got onto the pavement, I looked around wildly finding the couple a few feet away from me.

Huffing and puffing, I moved towards them not at all liking the way he had pointed at Ryan.

How dare he. .

Not on my watch!

Just as I close on them. .

"—listen to me for once, Dean! All I want is a chance at—"

"You lost it! You lost it the day you left! Get the fuck out of my life! I swear to God if you didn't, I'll not hesitate to kill."

The words were spoken in a deadly calm manner and the hair on my nape stood up.

No teen should be talking in that tone.

I was on their heads before he could kill Ryan further.

"Hey dipshit! Ever heard of manners?!" I spat , getting the attention of both breathless men.

Ryan clenched his fists.

While the green eyed boy gave me a withering glance.

"Looks like you found another one." He smirked at Ryan.

"Eyes here when you're talking about me!" I snapped not at all liking his arrogant tone.

And to my surprise, Ryan growled.

Not at him.

At me.

"Shut the fuck up!"

The way his eyes held fire when he said those words hit me on my heart , my eyes widened in disbelief, feeling a stinging sensation going around my body.

"What. . ." My voice was low.

"Don't fucking butt in my life! You have no right to!" His voice laced with venom , eyes freezing my heart.  .I couldn't believe he was the guy I spend the night with.

Between this, the boy had walked away.

Ryan glanced at his back.

"Dean! Wait up!"

Dean gave him the finger.

Ryan jogged towards him , leaving me behind. .

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