[ PAST | 4 years ago ] 

(a/n: this chapter will be called 12.5 or 'twelve and a half' mainly because this is kind of like the story behind Jungkook's thoughts in chapter 12. also, this is sort of the backstory that will kind of tie everything up.)

Would things have been different if I didn't go to America? Would things have been different if I actually heard her out? Would things have been different if I stopped her from running to him?

He stared at his passport and his plane tickets one last time, and his eyes then trailed down towards his packed suitcase that was ready. Things would be so much different for him when he finally settles down in America. A new university, new friends, new relationships, a new future. It was all planned for him, but he truly never planned it for himself.

"Jungkook-ah, we think it's better for you to study abroad. We saved up so much money for you to go there, we care about your education."

He chuckled bitterly, of course, his parents would only care about him trying to level himself up against his other relatives who look down on him for being that kid who didn't care about his grades or his future that was being sacrificed in the hands of his own. But it was that doubt in him that was screaming for him to listen to his parents because they only know the best for him.

But it only took one person to clear up his troubled thoughts. His eyes found their way towards the wilted roses that settled in a vase on his desk. 

It had been almost a month since the last time he had spoken to Sori. But ever since then, he had never seen someone so broken, so lost, just like him. Whenever their eyes would meet, she would only turn away from him and run in the opposite direction. His heart would scream for him to run after her, clear things up with her, but it was his parents' voices inside his head that were tying him down to the ground.

If only you knew how much I want to talk to you, hold you in my arms, tell you what's on my mind. But I can't.

He heard a knock on his door, he let out a deep sigh before he grabbed his suitcase and his things. As he headed towards his door, he looked back to see his empty dorm room. He pursed his lips into a line before he headed out, following his father as he lead the two of them towards the parking lot. But just in time, as he stepped out of the dorm, he stopped in his tracks when he saw Sori across the hallway.

"J-Jungkook," he heard her stutter, and he let his head hang low. He grabbed his things, locking his door before heading towards the elevator. He pushed past her, and she turned around, watching him step into the elevator.

He noticed that she caught a glance at his suitcase, his passport, and it signaled her to follow him. She called out to him, while his father had insisted that he should wait at the front door while he gets the car.

"Jungkook!" She yelled, "are you not listening to me?"

He turned around, looking at her and feeling his heart break at the sight of her tears flowing down her cheeks. "What is there to listen to?"

She fell silent, while he waited for her to break the silence. Her eyebrows furrowed, and when he realizes that she's not going to say anything, he grabbed his things and turned around. He watched his father pull up in the front, parking the car for him to pack his things. 

"So you're really going to leave," he heard her mutter. "Is this how you play with people's feelings? You confess to them, do all of these romantic things for them, and when you're finally tired of them, you leave them for good?"

He shut his eyes, trying to ignore all the harsh words coming from her. But he deserved it. He knew he deserved it. He deserved it for not telling her that he was leaving for America, and that he was never going to come back. He deserved it for confessing his feelings for her, and not even giving her enough time to think things through while he leaves her in the end.

"Is this what you did to those other girls that fell for your charm?" She asked. "Did you give them flowers too? Write poems for them too? Confess your love for them only to leave them in the end? Funny how I actually did fall in love with you, don't you think I deserve an explanation just like the rest of those girls?"

He finally turned around to face her. She was still crying. "Don't tell me that I've only done this because I'm some selfish guy who only falls in love just for the fun of it. I didn't ask for this, Sori."

"Well I didn't ask for this either, Jungkook." She muttered. "I didn't ask for you to come into my life, for you to make me feel like I was the luckiest girl in the whole entire world because someone actually admired me for me, for you to confess your heart to me and for you to leave me just like that without letting me explain or tell you how I feel."

"So don't make it seem like I'm the bad guy—"

"But you are the bad guy. Funny how somehow it's always that part of me that always feels empty when you're not around. I'll only find myself asking for more, for you to come back, for you to listen to me." She bit her lip to stop the threatening tears in her eyes. "But don't worry, Jungkook, if you knew you were going to leave me in the end, I'll just forget about you. I don't care how long it'll take."

"Sori—"

"It was nice having you in my life, Jungkook." She smiled bitterly. "And I hope you don't come back."

✿ ✿✿    

Kim Taehyung, the guy who took everything from me, including her. Do you feel guilty?

"Are you here to visit your family?"

Jungkook glanced at Jimin who took another shot of vodka, before slamming the shot glass back onto the table. He nodded his head. "I'm here just for a few weeks before heading back to America to finish my last year and a half of my degree."

"What degree are you graduating with?" He asked and Jungkook smiled.

"Law in Criminology," he replied and Jimin smirked. "What are you smirking at?"

"I bet the girls will be all over you, asking you to arrest them or something just for the fun of it." He teased and Jungkook could only roll his eyes. 

"I'm a lawyer, Jimin, not a police officer." He laughed until his smile faltered at the sound of yells. He looked at the crowd that was settling towards a man who was too close to a familiar drunk woman. He frowned. "Sori?"

He pushed his way through the crowds, and when he finally had her in sight, he could only push the man away from her and pull her out of the club. She was completely drunk, her arms were wrapped around his neck as he brought her into his arms. She was giggling, playing with his hair. 

"Let's get you home before something else happens," he mumbled as he started the car and drove back to her place.

He had entered into her dorm room, pulling out her keys from her purse and opening the door, only to stop in his tracks when he saw Taehyung sitting on the couch. He had been watching TV, and he was just as surprised when he had seen Jungkook standing at the doorway with Sori in his arms.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, shutting off the TV and making his way towards them. He grabbed Sori and brought her to her room before coming back into the living room to see Jungkook looking at some of her pictures. "Let me ask you again, what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here in her dorm? Isn't there a curfew time?" He asked Taehyung and Taehyung could only scoff.

"Why do you care? It's not like she's yours." Taehyung cursed, "and what happened to you? Aren't you supposed to be in America? Or were the teachers there too hard on you that you decided to come back here and claim what you've left."

"You talk to me as if we were never friends." He argued. "I'm here to visit my family, I'm going back to America. I was just at the club that Sori so happened to get drunk at and I just brought her home before anything else happened to her."

"So you do care about her," he rolled his eyes, "after you've left her when she spilled her whole heart to you, do you think she still wants to see you? Heck, do you still think she wants you in her life?"

"Why are you acting as if your her boyfriend? Last time I checked, you've only been acting as her rebound." Jungkook smirked. "On top of that, you act as if you're such an angel that deserves all the attention you need."

"But why do you act as if you both were in a relationship?" Taehyung questioned him. "I know you inside out, Jungkook. You're only into one-night stands, platonic relationships that don't even go anywhere. You're only in for the fun, you only date girls because you either want to get into their pants or just because you like breaking girls' hearts."

"I know you inside out too, Taehyung." He muttered. "You're the only one who gets into relationships either because the girls see you as an easy target for rebounds, or in general, you're just an easy target to break. Isn't that what happened between you and Sujin?"

"Don't bring up Sujin," he warned him.

"Oh, my bad." Jungkook said with a blank expression. "Are you scared that Sori would hear all about your ex-girlfriend that had sex with you and now all she wants is to leave your sorry ass because you got her pregnant?"

"Get out," Taehyung pointed towards the door. "Sori and I are glad you're never coming back. America did change you, Jungkook. It's almost as if I don't know you anymore."

"Are you happy that you finally have her? After you've seen me with Sori,  after how I caught you telling Jimin how much you wanted to be me, how much you wanted to have Sori all to yourself? You think I don't know how you wanted to take Sori away from me and you've been telling Jimin about this behind my back?" Jungkook asked. "I'm not stupid, Taehyung."

"Get out."

"So it is right." Jungkook smirked. "You did want Sori, and now that I left you're all joy and happiness because you have her all to yourself. Are you sure you didn't make her think I was the bad guy? I'm pretty sure she hates me now because you probably brainwashed her."

"Shut up."

"Don't worry about Taehyung. This will be the only secret between us." Jungkook warned him, "but if I find out that you've hurt Sori, I will tell her everything. From Sujin, to planning on taking Sori away from me, to making her hate me from your brainwashing, everything."

He had been pushed out of the dorm by Taehyung before he could utter another word. The door slammed shut and Jungkook could only kick the door. He frowned, trying to catch his breath.

"Jimin-ah, do you think Sori likes me back? Last time I checked, she likes Jungkook."

He shut his eyes, trying to calm his heart that was beating way too fast.

"Do you think if I asked her to tutor me for biology, she would consider me as well?"

"But you're smart at biology, Taehyung."

He felt his hands ball up into fists as he opened his eyes.

"Jungkook confessed to Sori but she never said anything, do you think this is my chance? Do you think she'll like me if I make a move now?"

He could only head back home with a heavy hard and a troubled mind. All that was filled throughout his head were pieces of the past. 

Do you feel guilty, Kim Taehyung?

Do you?

✿ ✿✿

a/n: this was so angsty i wanna take a nap.
but also, i hope this chapter answers all of your questions,
unless, it made more questions for you, then, i'm sorry..
mwahahahahahahaha. it's all part of the story, the whole
'all my questions are still unanswered sdkjfhdkjhf' and the
whole 'wtf so who's the bad guy sjldfhdjfh omgofmogmg'
i hope you guys liked this chapter, i'll try to finish as much of the 
story as i can before school starts!